The following is rated "H" for honest.
Narrator: From the company filled with the only people in the world who still play Destiny and the guy who dresses like he was designed by Tetsuya Nomura, comes the second season of the popular web show that people still debate whether or not it's an anime—
I'm sorry, but should we really be doing this?
Sound Booth Guy: Is there a problem John?
Narrator: I know it's been months since Monty died, but it still hurts. I mean the guy did so much cool stuff, and this wasn't just his legacy, this was his dream. And even then, is it really cool to make fun of a dead guy's work?
Sound Booth Guy: You still get paid for doing this John.
Narrator: Oh okay then.
RWBY Volume 2
Tune in to second season, or…volume, or whatever you want to call it of one of the most renowned web animations out now, because Homestar Runner is pretty much dead. Now it's better than ever with everything you wanted. Including more action scenes, now filling up almost half the season, longer episodes in exchange for less of them, remembering that Yang is a main character, more black characters…
*Cue "before and after" scene with background silhouettes as "before" and textured background characters as "after"*
Yet simultaneously less of them. And best of all, better animation…for the first episode at least. After that, it kinda still varies.
*Cue montage of bad animations while silly music plays*
Rejoin Ruby Rose, the teenage girl leader with a heart of gold and the name of a stripper. Watch as she and her team of Powerpuff Girls try to uncover the villains' evil plot. Despite knowing that they're still just trainees.
Weiss: We're students! We're not ready to handle this sort of situation!
Ruby: Well yeah, but...
Weiss: We're not ready!
Narrator: But they'll do it anyways because they're anime protagonists. And they'll do so without informing the much more experienced teachers and authorities, and instead get help from these two jobbers.
*Neptune gets shaken off a mech and he and Sun go flying off of a highway*
Narrator: Thanks for the assist~
Together, they'll take on Roman Torchwick, who's back with an army of terrorist furries, who for some reason follow him despite his constant racist abuse.
Roman: Man, animals, every one of them.
*Roman looks awkwardly at the White Fang member sitting next to him*
Roman: Not you though, you're, heh, you're great.
Narrator: But he's not the real threat. Meet the woman behind the man, Cinder Fall. She's the true mastermind who infiltrated the school for Huntsmen and has every part of her mysterious plan go perfectly. Mainly because no one bothers to question why a grown woman is posing as a student.
Ruby: Are you new?
Cinder: Visiting from Haven, actually.
*Ruby stares for a moment and Cinder stares back.*
Ruby: Ooh! You're here for the festival!
Nor are they apparently able to recognize her whenever she changes outfits.
Glynda: Was anyone else with her? Did she look familiar to you at all?
Ruby: I…I don't know. She was wearing a mask.
Narrator: *sarcastic* Our hero everybody.
Watch as this show continues to improve itself, but still keeps the writing problems the previous season had before. Such as obvious character plot twists…
Penny: I'm…not a real girl.
Narrator: More high school drama bullshit starring Jaune Arc…
Jaune: Which is why I wanted to get your advice on...girls.
Ren: Girls?
Jaune: I just...don't know...how to...girls.
Narrator: And more anime clichés and character rip-offs, to the point of even stealing characters from other works.
*Cue side by side comparison scene between Zwei and Ein from "Cowboy Bebop"*
Come on! At least try to be original!
So gear up for another awesome and fun-filled volume filled with cool fight scenes against bad guys and monsters, yet balanced out with plenty of lighthearted comedy.
*Cue Grimm invading the city*
*darker tone* Until the very end, when humanity receives a grim reminder. They lived in fear of the Grimm, and now they've invaded their sanctuary to wreak havoc on—
*Cue every character killing off the Grimm no problems, ending with Glynda fixing everything*
Oh. …uh, could someone tell me how these things are a threat again?
Starring:
Mila From "Dead Or Alive" (Ruby Rose)
Mitsuru Kirijo (Weiss Schnee)
Julie Numar (Blake Belladonna)
Bullet From "Blazblue" (Yang Xiao Long)
Ron Stoppable (Jaune Arc)
Xena Warrior Princess (Pyrrha Nikos)
Our Lord And Savior (Lie Ren)
Kathy Griffin (Nora Valkyrie)
Sexy Dumbledore (Ozpin)
Dominatrix Mistress (Glynda Goodwitch)
Professor Utonium (James Ironwood)
Mr. Monopoly (Peter Port)
Michael J. Caboobleck (Bartholomew Oobleck)
Overused "Journey To The West" Character (Sun Wukong)
K-Pop Singer (Neptune Vasilias)
Aigis (Penny)
Coo-Coo for Coco Puffs (Coco Adel)
The Fox Says Nothing (Fox Alistair)
Silly Rabbit (Velvet Scarlatina)
Generic Asian (Yatsuhashi Daichi)
Wolverine And/Or Sabertooth (Tukson)
Corgi Bebop (Zwei)
The Black Panthers (The White Fang)
Metal Gear? (Atlesian Paladin-290)
Roman O'Brian (Roman Torchwick)
Lust (Cinder Fall)
Affirmative Action (Emerald Sustrai)
Male Bayonetta (Mercury Black)
Neo Harime (Neo)
Jetstream Vergil (Adam Taurus)
And Mix-And-Match Original Character (Do Not Steal) (Raven Branwen)
Rwuh-By Volume 2: Electric Boogaloo
*Cue scenes of Cinder in her catsuit, but without the mask because of poor animating*
Oh for God's sake, the mask doesn't even stay on all the time! You're telling me no one could've recognized her!?
Ruby: She was wearing a—
Narrator: NO SHE WASN'T!
Thanks for reading! Before anyone chews me out, I wanna make it absolutely clear that I had ZERO intention of disrespecting Monty Oum for writing. He was a great man and an inspiration to many. I almost didn't even go through with this because I was worried it would still be too soon for something like this. But in the end I went through with it because it was the 1-year anniversary for the trailer of the first volume (and my first Honest Trailer parody in general) and I felt I should do something special. Yeah I know battlefield4us wrote a pretty decent version himself (Hell I gave him my blessing to do so), but I wanted to do one myself as well. So just pick your poison on which one of ours you like better. But back to that thing about my anniversary, this is a very special moment for me. Not only was this when I wrote that trailer, but it was also the moment I got back into writing...five months later. It became a bright spot in my life, for not only was I finding enjoyment in making these stories and pieces, but so many other people were enjoying reading them, and I can't thank you all enough for that. While I admit this Summer will be a slow patch, I'm prepared to make this next year more productive, as I'm prepared to provide you all with more Honest Trailer parodies, more SSB4 Intro Dialogues, and other content you don't really care about because it's not Precocious Love. Oh and don't worry, there will be more Precocious Love as well. Chapter 6 should be the next thing I put out. Alright, my fingers are starting to ache from typing this long-ass author's note, so have a great summer everybody, and let's hope we have an even better year.
