I don't know what I'm doing here, why I agreed to this. I stare mindlessly at my glass, knowing that looking at him will just make the pain more intense. My chest is heavy and my stomach feels like it has hot needles jabbing me in the deepest parts of my gut.

We sit and drink in silence.

I'm done. I can't believe I've been spending all this time trying to find my way to him, find a way to fix us, and all the while, he was screwing her.

My throat tightens as I hold back tears. I have to say something. The silence is driving me crazy. Stay calm. Don't blow up. Not here.

I take a breath and stare ahead, "So," I say.

"Yeah," Robin replies.

"So you've moved on… with her." The tightness is my throat becomes sore.

"That's not fair," Robin pleads, "you understood. You agreed."

I can't help but to shake my head and let out a small huff in disbelief, looking down at my hands that hold on to the gin I wish I could hook up to an IV right about now. He's right. Not only did I agree, I suggested. I told him he had to leave with her. I should have seen it. I should have known something was off. I was too clouded by my feelings for Robin and everything that was pushing me to do the "right thing". Damn this whole "redemption" thing. Where has it gotten me?

Of course. Of course this would be my fault. Everything I touch falls apart. And yet I can't help but feel this unbearable sense of betrayal. I breathe deeply, looking down to hide the tears welling up in my eyes.

"Yeah, well you sure moved on real quickly after you stepped over that town line. How long did it take you to forget about me and jump into bed with Zelena?"

"Regina, I had no idea she was—"

"It doesn't matter, Robin!" I yell and finally look at him. His eyes are full of pain and longing, but I'm too hurt to care. He told me that he chose me. He loved me and wanted me. But as soon he left Storybrooke I was nothing to him. He slept with another woman. Whether it was Zelena or Marian doesn't make a difference to me right now. He didn't believe in me. Of all people, he lost hope.

My hands shake.

"I have to go." I can't look at him anymore. I get up and move quickly to the door.

"Regina, wait! Please!" I hear him search frantically for money in his pocket to pay the bar tender, and I know I have some time to get away. I'm walking past the bar when he catches up with me, much more quickly than I thought possible. I gasp as he pulls me into an alley between the bar and his apartment building where Emma and Lilly are supposed to meet us any minute.

My back hits the brick wall on the side of the building, away from the view of passersby on the sidewalk. Robin's strong hands are clasped onto each shoulder, holding me still against the wall, I assume so I'm forced to listen to him.

"Look at me, Regina," Robin's voice is strained, but demanding. I can't bring myself to look at him though. Everything about him hurts me. His smell is no longer foresty, but more muggy, like a mixture of the city and sweat. The skin of my sister now taints his familiar hands that once brought me comfort and warmth.

"No. Get your hands off me," I say, with as much disgust as I can muster.

"Not until you look at me," he responds.

I'm regretting coming to a land without magic right now. Every one of my instincts wants to vanish in a purple cloud of smoke and end up somewhere remote, where I can be alone.

Still pinned to the wall by Robin's strength, I bring my head up, but veer my eyes down the alley, unable to bring myself to look directly at him.

"I didn't move on so quickly," he says quietly, tears welling up in my eyes once more, "I never moved on."

I let out an exasperated laugh that he doesn't acknowledge.

"I have lived every day since I left you in Storybrooke with the guilt that I couldn't force myself to love my wife more than the woman who saved her."

I keep staring down the alley, unable to speak. I can't listen to this, but I also suddenly don't want to move away from him.

"I've lived with the guilt that as I share a bed with my wife, I can't get my queen's dark eyes and menacing smile out of my mind."

His hand traces my jaw. I feel him inching closer and I seem to need deeper breaths.

"The guilt that I cringed at her touch while I longed every day to put my hands on your skin again. Touch you. Kiss you."

I can't breath. My heart is jumping out of my chest. I turn my head to look at him as the pit in my stomach grows, but my desire for him begins to overcome the pain. Our eyes lock.

"I could never and will never just move on from you, Regina," he says as he brings a finger to my cheek and absorbs a tear. I'm not even sure when that got there. "You've ruined me. Everything about you consumes me even when you're miles away. My heart will always belong to you no matter how hard either of us tries, so please… Don't run away from me. Not now that we have a chance."

I stare at him, searching for words, but I can't seem to put any sounds together to form them. For a moment, everything fades away and I'm just standing with Robin, my Robin, the man I've missed and dreamed of since that awful day we said goodbye. I realize that my hand, at some point, made it's way to Robin's chest. Holding his gaze, I slide my hand up toward his neck to pull him towards me, my lips eager to reunite with his.

"Regina? Everything okay?"

Everything crashes back down at the sound of Emma's voice. She and Lilly stand on the sidewalk at the opening of the alley, Zelena sports an annoyed look while handcuffed behind them. Emma hold's Roland on one hip and looks over at me protectively. She's annoying like that, it should be obvious that I can protect myself, but it's also nice to have someone care about you, I could probably even call her a friend. I'd never admit that to her, though.

I remember every detail of why we're here and come back down to earth. "No," I say, "nothing is okay, but we should go. It's getting late." Robin's grip finally loosens and I walk toward the others. I hear him quietly whisper my name as he realizes the moment is gone. I can't believe I let myself get caught up with him so easily. How stupid am I? I just want to get home.

"Let's go."