Disclaimer:
I do not own Camp Camp or any of its characters. They belong exclusively to the maniacs of Rooster Teeth.
Summary:
Ten years later, and they're back at camp. And it's up to them to guide a new generation of campers in their camp experiences. May God have mercy on their souls. Rated PG for Nothing in Particular, maybe some Slight Foul Language.
Ten years.
Ten goddamn years, and Max was right back where he started.
Oh, he'd gotten out. Summer didn't last forever, after all. The problem was that he'd come back.
He hadn't meant to. He'd never even thought about Summer Camp for the first few months on the outside. Oh, sure, Max kept in touch with Neil and Nikki, and even some of the other campers he'd known during his time at Camp Campbell, but he'd never really thought of them sharing that connection. They'd had other interests to draw them together.
But months turned into years, and years into a decade. And Max had grown. That angry little ten year old who'd be driven to destroy David's worldview had gone through the remainder of Middle School, then into High School, graduating with a decent GPA and then doing his best to try his hand at college. That hadn't gone nearly so well for poor Max. After four semesters of flunking boring classes and questionable learning tactics (most of which involved alcohol) he'd been forced back home. Now, in a desperate attempt to get away from his stifling mother, he'd taken a part-time summer job.
Max was now about as tall as David had been back when he'd been a camper, not quite six feet but just short of it, with a slightly more manageable, short cut dark hair. Years of weight lifting and hard labor to work out aggression had kept him fit, even helped him bulk up a bit. He wasn't quite a bodybuilder, but his limbs were definitely lined with hard muscle, and he'd thankfully managed to avoid gaining a potbelly like a lot of other college kids he'd known.
He was wearing the official green of a Camp Campbell counselor, the t-shirt with the tree logo, and some comfortable brown shorts that extended over his knees. Around his waist he'd tied a dark blue hoodie. It wasn't nearly cold enough to justify wearing it, but he liked to keep it on hand. Despite all his best efforts to remain clean shaven, he had a noticeable five o'clock shadow every morning.
Right now, he looked tired, and felt how he looked. He'd been up late last night making sure everything was in order for today, and he'd had to chug about a gallon of soda to remain even vaguely bushy-tailed and bright-eyed. Still, he was not looking forward to this.
The arrival of the new Camp Campbell campers.
The bus swerved to a stop in the parking lot, narrowly missing Max, who didn't even flinch when it parked practically right in front of him. Years of near death experiences had given him quite the high tolerance for shenanigans like this. The door slid open as the quartermaster nodded from his seat at the front of the bus.
Sometimes Max wondered just how old the man really was. And if he'd ever just up and die already.
"Kid's're all yours," he said, switching out his hook hand for a bottle of whiskey. "Goin' on break. Be back for the bus at noon."
Max nodded dimly in his direction, then cast his gaze over the children.
They ranged from ages nine to fourteen, perhaps just a few more boys than girls, and with a wild variety of body types, hair styles, and clothing styles. Goth kids standing alongside preppy students. Pre-schoolers sharing sweet natural air with kids on the cusp of adolescence. Max hated them all.
"Welcome to Cameron Campbells Camp Campbell," he intoned in a dull monotone. "We pride ourselves on a wide experience of activities ranging from..."
He trailed off as he spotted something. Which was good because the kids had that dull, fish eyed sort of look that they hadn't been listening to a word he said.
"Hey-HEY!" he shouted, catching their attention. "I saw that! Who was that?!"
Stomping through the suddenly terrified schoolkids, Max marched right up to the bus and reached inside. He emerged a moment later, a little pipsqueak dangling by his jacket from Max's hand.
"Word of advice, kid... A, your legs won't reach the pedals, and B, you don't know how to drive... trust me, you're not getting out of camp that easy."
He dropped off the little troublemaker with the rest of the herd, made a mental note to keep an eye on him, then continued his dull tirade. "Now, most of you little..." again, that brief pause as he re-considered his words. "Kids... don't want to be here. You know this, I know this, we get it. Now, that said, that doesn't mean your camp time has to be completely miserable. We'll be doing our best to accommodate your needs and your interests during your stay here. Questions?"
Several hands shot up.
Ignoring them, Max continued on. "No? Good. Let's get moving. We've got a lot of ground to cover on day one and I plan to do it quickly."
The children followed Max as he led them to the assembly hall. "This is the center of the Camp, our flag pole. You can see it from almost anywhere, so if you ever get lost in the forest because you're hiking alone... which you shouldn't be doing anyway... find the flag... find your way home. Simple, right? Good."
One of the campers raised a hand, but Max ignored him. Undeterred, the kid went ahead with his request anyway. "Uhm, sir? I'm not getting any reception on my cellphone."
Max barely spared him a look. "You sure aren't, junior."
"That's not an answer," the precocious twelve year old frowned up at him.
"You didn't ask a question," the young man shot back.
"... touche," replied the boy, crossing his arms and glaring at Max.
Oh joy, my first enemy, Max thought. So this is what David's days were like. With one important difference. David let Max walk all over him. He wouldn't give this brat the same opportunity.
There was a shift in the bushes nearby. Rustling of the foliage. One of the kids spotted something, a pair of glowing white eyes amongst the shadows. Instinctively, they huddled closer together.
"What was that?!"
Max glanced up, disinterested. "Could be another monster..." he mused.
"Monster?!"
With the kids suddenly turned to face him, the only adult around, seeking protection, something struck. Something fast and shadowy, springing into their midst. Kids scattered, screaming in surprise, shock and fear. One of the younger children was snatched up. The little girl shrieked, pigtails and fists flailing ineffectively as she dangled in the air... barely half an inch off the ground.
Max rolled his eyes at her melodrama. And even moreso at his fellow counselors sense of humor.
"Alright, Nikki, that's enough, take it down a notch, alright?"
Spitting the girl's hoodie out of her mouth, Nikki instantly climbed to her feet, all feral in her behavior vanishing. "Sure thing boss. You got it." She tossed off an odd salute that Max just raised an eyebrow at.
If the years had been fair to middling for Max, they'd been positively generous when it came to Nikki. She'd ended up a little shorter than he was, but compensated for it by having a heck of a lot more hair, her emerald pigtails now nearly reached down to her hips. She'd escaped puberty without any unsightly blemishes, and her skin was surprisingly smooth and well cared for despite her rough and temple outdoor activities. It was a lot tanner though, reflecting her many hours out under the sun.
She was wearing the same uniform Max did, but she'd tied up the front of her shirt into a knot to expose her toned midriff, and substituted the long pants for short shorts. The combination helped show off her rich, warm skin. Max idly noted a few of the boys in his group were getting a bit wide-eyed, and one was even drooling. Oh boy, were they ever in for some disappointment.
Max cleared his throat. "This here is my fellow counselor, Nicole Williams," he gestured to her. She gave an exaggerated bow in response.
"Call me Nikki," she said. "So, who here signed up for Adventure Camp?"
Two hands shot up.
"Good, that's the absolute best one. But my new personal favorite is the new Wilderness Survival Camp. Pack edition. Where you run with the wolves. Literally. Who here signed up for that?"
All hands dropped. Max rubbed his eyes, feeling a headache coming on.
"Nikki, I keep telling you, that's never going to be a thing."
"You're the one who said underwater basket weaving would never be a thing either!"
"It wasn't!" he insisted. "Besides, we were in town that day."
"Yeah, well, I still say eventually someone will realize just how awesome it is."
As the two of them argued, a small creature came waddling over their way. At first none paid any heed to it, but as it drew closer more boys and girls turned their eyes to it, whispering excitedly. A hideous creature with the bill of a duck, the tail of a beaver, the body of an otter, and the temperament of a wolverine (on good days). It flopped down useless by Max's foot as he and Nikki argued, drawing his attention to it.
"Oh yeah, and this is our camp mascot... Platyi the Platypus," Max introduced.
"Wak!" greeted the amalgamated creature.
After making sure their mascot didn't try to bite any of the campers, Max and Nikki led them into the assembly hall to see where they'd hold announcements, camp activities, and three meals daily. Neil was there too, organizing t-shirts. They were being distributed by size so the campers would have an easier time finding one that fit them.
Neil had probably changed the most radically out of the trio. Gone was his awkward youth, replaced by the far less awkward adulthood. He'd had a radical growth spurt, continuing to tower over Max, with long, gangly limbs and almost freakishly long legs. A pair of glasses now covered his face, helping to correct his vision, which was starting to gradually worsen. He'd talked about laser surgery, but so far nothing had come of it. Then again, thankfully they helped to make him look distinguished, rather than further touch upon his nerdiness.
Dressed in a long-sleeved shirt and a vest, along with slacks, Neil may have looked like an intellectual, but he certainly wasn't a full nerd anymore. He had just that right blend of cool and geeky to keep him on the fringe of both worlds. Plus, the long sleeves and pants helped protect him from the elements and insects.
"Hey Max," he greeted. "Nikki."
She waved back.
"These the new Camp Campbell campers?"
"No, genius," Max deadpanned. "I decided to adopt..." he did a quick headcount. "... fourteen new sons and daughters. Kids, say hello to your uncle Neil. He's slow on the uptake."
Neil made a face. "Haw-haw, very funny. Welcome, kids. Don't mind Max here. We sure as heck don't. Come on in, grab a free T-shirt... we've had them arranged by size so if you'll all please form an orderly..."
He didn't quite get out the rest. The moment free was mentioned, the kids descended on the tables like a swarm of locusts. Max watched with a vaguely amused expression as Neil was almost trampled underneath their tiny shoes.
"Yes, yes, go ahead, grab them all, no need to wait in an orderly line, just shove right ahead, go for it, kids," he said in a disinterested choice. Honestly, no matter how much he told them something, they never listened. After a while he just gave up.
While the kids rummaged through the garments, Max idly leaned against the wall, and his gaze caught sight of a series of photos hanging up just above the kitchen entrance. Previous generations of campers, from as far back as the day of its founding to last years group of misfits and mayhem makers. One of the photos was askew, no doubt knocked off-balance by the skirmish that had taken place earlier. Frowning, Max reached up to adjust the photo, taking a moment as he did to look at the campers depicted in it.
"Huh... the old gang," he remarked to no one in particular.
His fellow campers, because that was the year Max had gone to Camp Campbell as a camper. Looking at his younger self, Max didn't feel all that different from the perpetually angry, short-tempered, foul mouthed little bastard who'd nearly driven David to suicide or mass murder. Even so, he know he'd changed a lot over the years. Knuckled under, given in, mellowed. The fact that he was back at the camp in the first place was proof enough of that.
Nikki and Neil had changed, of course. So had most of the other campers. Idly Max tried to remember what had happened to most of them.
Space Kid, whose real name was Thomas, had tried to live up to his dream of achieving space flight, but in the end he'd been forced to recognize he didn't have quite the mental or physical aplitutde to achieve such, and instead he'd settled for working Mission Control. He didn't quite make it past the atmosphere of Earth, but he was working with NASA to really help humanity pioneer a new age of exploration.
Nurf had joined the army. Last Max saw him he was getting ready for a deployment to the desert, and anxious to cut loose and use his aggression in a productive way for society. He'd definitely found his calling, though even he had been in trouble when they'd found a knife on him at boot camp.
He wasn't sure what had happened to Dolph, to be honest. Max made a mental note to find out what the young artist was up to these days.
Shaking his head, Max shifted his gaze over to Harrison and Nerris. They'd started dating a few years after they got out of camp, finding common ground in their real/fake magical interests. A match made in fantasy, yet somehow they'd managed to make it work. Even gotten married, an occasion that Max had found thoroughly revolting. It didn't last, they were divorced two years later, but it seemed there wasn't any animosity between the two magic kids. They were just better off friends than husband and wife.
Preston had gone onto broadway, but apparently not done nearly so well as he'd been hoping. He'd had greater success when he tried working in the films, where he could truly the scenery. Last Max heard he'd been drawing in something close to six figures, which he was finding ever more creative ways to spend on ever more complex vices and drugs. The lucky son of a bitch.
And that left Meredith. Or Erit, as she'd been called back then. He wasn't positive what had happened to her. She'd been at the wedding with Nerris, but she'd been a mess, between boyfriends and recovering from a broken ankle she'd sustained trying to pull off some death defying motorcycle flip. She'd defied death, but apparently he'd decided to break her ankle for being such a bitch about it. It wasn't career ending, but even so, he'd never heard from her since. Max hoped she was alright.
He hoped they all were, to be honest. Even...
Gwen and David's smiling faces towered over the other campers, or rather David's did. Gwen's was more of a neutral frown. But they'd all grown closer over the brief summer as they'd come closer to understanding one another. David had knuckled down and proposed to Gwen, and now together they were overseeing the whole Camp Campbell franchise. The smiling bastard had finally fulfilled his dream and stepped into the shoes of his old mentor, Cameron Campbell. Well, at least he'd managed to do it legally, and wasn't wanted by the government or the police for questionable legal and moral activities. Except for being too goddamned happy all the time.
And now Max was the camp counselor. Against his will, he's stepped into David's shoes.
"... oh god, I've become everything I've ever hated," he muttered to himself.
Steeling himself and his resolve, Max called for attention.
"Alright! Alright! HEY! Listen up! Look, we've got an hour until sundown, so I want all of you to come with us while we assign you tents. Yes you will be paired up, no you will not get to choose, no you will not get to trade assignments," he instructed, knowing full well they'd be doing the latter anyway. Nobody much cared as long as the counselors could find everyone. And in the end, they could always just blame the kids if something went wrong.
It was surprising how easy that was.
"Uhm, excuse me sir?" asked one of the kids. "Do you have night lights in your tents? I get scared of the dark."
A vein throbbed in Max's temple as he clamped his mouth down hard on the torrent of curse words he wanted to unleash. However, remembering his therapy, he inhaled through his nose, then exhaled slowly through his lips.
"Yeah, yeah, sure kid," he said. "We'll pass around lanterns later if you have to take a tinkle in the middle of the night."
The kid flushed a shade of red, almost making the question worth it, but still, it just wasn't as satisfying somehow. Max needed some alone time.
"Hey listen, Neil, can you get the kids to their tents? I have to go find a bottle of whiskey and drink until I can't feel feelings no more."
Some of the kids looked shocked at the suggestion of a responsible adult doing alcohol, particularly on duty, but Neil quickly assured them Max was "Only kidding" or at least he hoped was the case. None the less, recognizing his friends short patience was already at its limit, Neil quickly herded up the kids and started on tent assignments. Nikki helped with the girls, while Max slipped behind the assembly hall and leaned back against the hardwood wall, gazing up at the open sky.
Without anyone around, it was much quieter. Even relaxing.
Raw, untamed nature, untouched by man. Clear skies and fluffy white clouds. The smell of pine. Even cynical Max had to agree it was kind of nice. If nothing else, because it was something people had yet to ruin.
There was a rustle in the bushes, and Max glanced up curiously.
Oh what now? he idly wondered.
Was it some wild, savage animal? Were the Wood Scouts back for revenge? Was Tabii back for her ex-boyfriend?
Not today, apparently.
Stumbling out of the bushes was one of the new campers, already wearing the Camp Camp t-shirt. Some snot-nosed kid with faded brown hair and a kerchief, of all things. Honestly, who wore that sorta thing anymore? What was this, the 1960's?
"The heeeeeee-... -eck are you doing back here?" Max asked, feeling his mood sour already. His one moment of peace, already ruined.
"Oh sorry, sir, I think I just got lost. I was following this rabbit, you see, and then it vanished into the brush. But I followed my way back to the flagpole. Then I found you."
Something about this boy... set off warning bells in the back of Max's mind. Something about the way he talked. And that smile. He looked entirely too damn chipper.
"What's your name, squirt?" Max said.
"David, sir," the boy replied, smiling too wide again, showing off a row of pearly teeth. He must have brushed every single last day.
Irony hit Max square in the chestnuts. "... you're kidding me," he said.
"Nope! We're gonna be great friends, I'm sure. And this is going to be the bestest summer ever!"
Slapping his open palm against his face, feeling a headache coming on, Max grit his teeth and did his best not to crush the innocent little boy's hopes and dreams. At least, not yet. After all, they had all summer together whether he liked it or not. The kid's parents had paid for everything, and he couldn't afford to get fired again.
So he'd take his time with good ol' Davey. Wear him down slowly. Crush his spirit bit by bit. Camp would do that to him naturally, but Max would of course make sure things took their proper and natural course. And in the end, David would be nothing more than a broken, bitter husk of a kid.
As was only right and proper.
Authors Notes:
Please review.
I just find the idea of generations continuing Camp Campbell's traditions hilarious, particularly with Max providing a contrast to David's views the way he likely did the same for Cameron Campbell. Plus, it was a chance to reunite our favorite comedy trio as adults instead of kids.
Hope you enjoyed the backstories (or rather, predictions) I came up with for the other Campbell campers. Harrison and Nerris, in particular, I'm fairly proud of. The magic kids would be totally adorable together. I honestly couldn't think of anything suitable funny for Dolph, however, given who he's based on. I think they milked that cow fairly dry in 'Reigny Day' to be honest, but I still love the character.
