"Your hands weren't made for holding a gun."—a certain person once told me that.
What she meant was probably along the lines of, "your strength isn't just for the sake of killing". Mine was surely the power of a splendid hero, the power to protect.
But she was mistaken there.
What I have isn't an upright power like that. After all, the person wielding it was only a simple, flawed human. As a godly being herself, that person wouldn't understand the struggles we weak humans must go through.
Never once did these hands lift up a life asking for salvation and forgiveness; they could only ever take.
I'm not a hero. Never was. Never will be.
And this is my, K-Sha's, story.
1
"Today's the day", I decided, looking at the big bold, heart-shaped mark on my calendar. With a rare holiday from school, I made up my mind to follow through with a promise I'd been postponing for embarrassingly long, and pay a visit to the basilicom.
It had to be now or never.
Although I'd been there numerous times in the past, the mere sight of the basilicom's imposing facade was enough to make me nervous. Was that so weird? After all, this is the basilicom we're talking about—the very heart of the nation called Lastation. Or should we call it the brain instead? Either would do. And what kind of a mortal wouldn't be feeling anxious over the idea of approaching such a place? As a matter of fact, ordinary citizens rarely did. But it was neither the architecture nor the political significance of the place that brought butterflies in my stomach, really.
It was the fact that this was the place where she lives.
Lady Black Heart, the CPU of Lastation.
It was none other than that great goddess herself whom I'd come to see today.
As mentioned, it had been some time since my last visit.
Long enough to make me worry if I was still remembered, as I passed through the tall entryway. Perhaps I should make it a habit to do something striking each time I come by, just to make sure I wouldn't one day get randomly turned away by the guards? For example, dress in something a tad more eye-catching than usual, just for the occasion? Too bad, I wasn't raised to be fashionable, so telling what was attention-grabbing and what wasn't was difficult for me. Maybe Uni could give me some advice in that regard? Then again, not to be rude to Uni, but I had the impression she wasn't particularly keen on following the current trends either. I'd better turn to my school friends with this problem instead.
Against my worries, I made it inside without an issue.
The guards and workers still remembered my appearance, if not from the brief period when I was the negligent owner of the place, then for my frequent comings and goings since.
Still, my pulse wasn't settling down in the least.
I'd been counting days, hours, even minutes, until our reunion, and now the fateful moment was fast approaching. I could feel it. Oh my, this is no good. I'd better take a minute to restore my composure. The timeless, divine atmosphere inside the basilicom was more than fit for taking a visitor's troubled mind off of the earthly concerns—
—"Oh, if it isn't K-Sha!"
I didn't get to space out in the main hall for even a minute, before a light voice greeted me.
I heard the quick clicking of heels approaching on the stone floor, and turned around to find myself face-to-face with a young girl. Her round, crimson eyes swiftly captured my attention and I drew a quick breath.
No way! This is too soon! I had no time to prepare my heart at all!
That jet black hair, bound in two stylish tails, silky as ever; the frilly, elegant dress designed by the impossibly talented lady herself; the lovely smile that could enamor masses. Who else could it be but the very person I'd come to meet?
So Noire was at home? Aren't I lucky?
I was looking forward to some casual chatter with some irrelevant NPCs at first, but she had so sneakily caught me off-guard. It was like those moments in games when you have multiple events lined up and the first one you click is the one that progresses the story, which you intended to save for the last. Surprised so completely, it took me embarrassingly long to respond to her friendly greeting.
I'm sure you can understand the reason to my excitement.
This girl was Noire, the CPU and leader of Lastation.
But above all that, I had the honor and privilege to call her my best friend.
"It's been a while! Have you been well? How's school?" Noire quickly inquired me with a sunny smile.
"Ah..." Basking under Noire's all too rare happy smile would've been enough to make any girl's knees wobbly—how could I hope to endure it? Is it okay to think that she's genuinely happy to see me? That smile definitely looks real to me, my heart feels it's all too real, and not just one made out of courtesy.
"Um...I-I've been fine," I did my best to act normally, feeling my face heat up. "I had a holiday from school, so I thought I'd finally take the chance to visit. Did I come at a bad time? I'm sorry for not showing up sooner, or contacting you in advance, but it's almost summer already and the finals have been keeping me busy..."
"It's fine, it's fine," Noire dismissed my regrets. Really, what is it? Her sunny expression was making me feel seven kinds of conflicted. "You came now and isn't that what matters?"
If she's in such a good mood, then would it be okay for me to be a bit bold as well? When an opportunity presents itself, you have to take the shot, like a proper sniper.
"Um, do you have any special plans for today?" I inquired. "If not, would you like to go out with me and catch up? The weather's so wonderful today too."
In response to my innocent proposal, Noire's expression quickly clouded,
"Aah, I'm sorry, K-Sha!" she says with an apologetic gesture, "I'd love to, but I'm kinda busy right now. There's too much work, I haven't been able to get out for days, but it's still too soon to take it easy...The Lastation Expo is coming next month and we're behind the organizing schedule big time. It'd be an embarrassment before all the other nations, if we didn't get at least five new titles revealed, so..."
"No, I understand, it's all right..." I hurried to say, silently berating myself for spoiling her good mood. I knew I was taking the risky road there. Relationships with workaholics sure aren't easy, are they? But I wasn't going to give up that easily. I'm not going home empty-handed after coming this far!
"Then, is there anything I can help with? I'm free, after all."
It wasn't much, but I did do some management work while I was staying at the basilicom. Or, to be precise, the world was rewritten in a way that I had done so, while I had no personal experience about it. I may not have a knack for leading a nation, but I at least know there's enough work for everyone in this place.
"Is that okay?" Noire asked with her painfully unfair puppy dog eyes. "It's your holiday and all, I wouldn't want to make you waste it working for me...Your school friends need your time too, don't they? Shouldn't you be seeing them instead...?"
I don't need friends like that.
"It's fine!" I insisted. "I see my other friends plenty at school. Besides, working for Noire and this nation, I can't imagine a more fulfilling way to spend my time!"
It did sound sort of sincere in my own ears, but was I pushing too hard? Noire can get awfully stubborn. Or, maybe "she sticks to her beliefs" would be a more positive way to phrase it?
"How should I say this...I'm sorry, about a lot of things..." Noire apologized meekly, before adding, "It's rather pitiful for a CPU to enlist the aid of a citizen, but we're really shorthanded here. So don't blame me if I take you up on that offer."
If it's by Noire, I won't mind being exploited one bit. Not that you can call this exploitation since I'm the one benefiting the most of it. Every minute spent in Noire's company is worth at least 100,000 credits, surely.
"Then, let's get to business straight away, shall we?" Noire's good spirit returns, a flame of determination lighting in her eyes. "If it's K-Sha, I know you'll be able to keep up with me. Let's work like there's no tomorrow!"
"Ahaha..."
I'd really like to see tomorrow, still. For a moment, I felt subtle dread that perhaps I ended up making promises too big to keep, but my fighting spirit soon stood up to the challenge.
"As you wish!"
