Hurting You...

Hey... I have been real depressed through out this month... I just lost my best friend from a motorcycle accident on April 10th ... I've been listening to a lot of his music and I stumbled across a song on his iPod, which was given to me by his mother on a request when he was in the ICU... I have been listening to this one song for the past week and I decided to write out song fic. This is for you Tye... Sorry, to all my readers who were expecting an update...

The song is Hurt, which is sung by Rhema in a cover... The original artist is Christina Aguilera ...

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face

You told me how proud you were, but I walked away

I looked at you seeing you smiling at me. I see your large amethyst staring into my dark brown eyes. I try to pass it off as nothing as I continued to eat my dinner. I had just won an art contest and was receiving a scholarship to Domino University. I kept trying to eat my food, but i kept seeing you smiling warmly at me. It was beginning to bother me to no end. I could not take it anymore.

"Can i help you with something, Yugi?" I growled out, as you seemed to beam even brighter.

"No, I'm just so proud of you Bakura. I really did not know you had such an amazing gift...," you stated as he smiled even bigger.

"Pft. What talent it was just a stupid drawing," I growled.

"It may have been just a simple drawing, but it was still beautifully drawn Bakura." you said, as your gaze seemed to have grown more contented.

"Well i really don't care what you think." and with that I stormed out of the kitchen.

If only I knew what I knew today... Ooo...

I just stood there in front of the cold tomb as tears kept trekking down my face. I could not understand how I had not seen him self-destructing before me. I was supposed to protect him. After the pain, he had been through with all his so-called friends I promised my self that I would not be like them when I took his broken soul in. Now I wish I had tried to understand what i had done wrong to lose him.

"I was so stupid..." I whispered to no one in particular as I fell to my knees. I leaned over and touched the tomb. "Why didn't I listen to you my precious loved one...?"

I would hold you in my arms, I would take away the pain

Thank you for all you've done, Forgive all your mistakes

"You know Yugi, I wish you were still here with me. I would just hold you in my arms one last time..." I said to the grave, as the tears seemed to roll down my face even more. I kept looking at the tomb as i thought of all the things I should have done that could have prevented my beloved form dying that fateful night.

Flashback

"B-but Bakura! I didn't do anything wrong!" my little lover yelled as I began to walk to the door with the suitcase in my hand. I turned to see my koi with tears rolling down his eyes. It pained me, but the rumors were getting excessively detailed at school to be a lie and I was beginning to doubt that innocent face that I came to love.

"I'm sorry Yugi, but I don't think we can work this out." I said irritably as I tried to convince myself that it was the right thing to do." I mean the rumors at school are becoming way too detailed for them to be just lies... I'm not coming back Yugi, so let it go." I yelled my voice wavering slightly, but not enough for him to catch on.

"You said you loved me! You lied to me just like the others! I thought you were different! I thought you believed in me! Please don't leave me I don't want to be alone!" cried my little one.

'I have to go through with this' I thought 'For all I know he could be lying to me as well' I knew that I had to get away from him for a while.

I did what I knew I should never do, "Well, maybe your friends were right! Maybe you are just a lying whore!" I yelled at him with no remorse. I opened the door and slammed it shut. As I got into the taxi outside, I realized what I said to him. My tears started rolling down my cheeks. 'Why did I have to say that... I just hope I did the right thing. Though knowing how I act, I probably didn't' the taxi pulled into my hikari's driveway and I went inside.

*Next day*

I woke up to shaking. As I opened my eyes, I could see my hikari's brown eyes that were filled with tears and what looked like sadness. I immediately sat up.

"Ryou what's wrong? What happened?" I said, my protective instincts kicking in.

"Bakura... Yugi's dead" whispered my hikari, as tears began falling down his face.

"W-what? No! I just talked to him yesterday!" I yelled as I tried to grasp onto the words my hikari had just said.

"I... went to go visit him like always... When I got there, I found Yugi on the floor bleeding from his wrists... I saw a bottle of pills next to him... It was empty Bakura... I tried looking for a pulse but there was none... He left us a note..." Ryou said as he handed the note to Bakura with shaking hands.

There written in blood in the middle were

Forgive me for my stupid mistakes. I am sorry for the trouble...

I had to pay for my mistakes...

I am truly sorry Ryou... Bakura... Forgive me

Love, Yugi Moto

All I could think was 'I knew I should not have left him' and the tears were flowing freely down my eyes...

There's nothing I wouldn't do, to hear your voice again

Sometimes I want to call you, but I know you won't be there...

It's been three weeks since the funeral... I keep waking up looking next to me to see if it was all just a dream. I am let down every time... I get up and start making breakfast. I look in the fridge and I turn to the table and say "Yugi what kind of..." I trial off realizing you weren't there anymore.

The same thing happens to me at night. I get ready to bed lay down and look at the door as if expecting you to come in form a long shower. I close my eyes and mumble you name. "Yugi..."

I drift off to sleep, knowing you won't ever be able to reply.

Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you, for everything I just couldn't do...

And I've hurt myself by hurting you

I keep crying myself thinking back and hating myself for hurting you. I said so many thing that i shouldn't have said. Because of my words, I hurt you so deeply that i pushed you to the edge. I gave you a reason to kill my self and that has completely affected my "art" as you would call it back then. The paintings are dark and lonesome, but somewhere in the background you'll be there lighting a part of the picture. They have become really popular, but that doesn't change anything...

Sometimes I feel broke inside but I won't admit

Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss

And it's hard to say goodbye when it come to this, ooh

I sometimes lock myself inside my studio and draw you over and over again to fill in the cracks in my heart. I realize that this has to stop. I know that you wouldn't want me to fall, I can feel you watching waiting for me to say goodbye... I just can't... I take all my drawings of you and out them in a box. I put the box in my box and drive... I arrive to the lake where I first met you... I see that no one was there... That was good... I go to the large Sakura tree at the edge of the lake. I put the box underneath it... I take a match booklet and strike one. I take on last look at the box... I had to do this... I light the rest of the little booklet on fire and drop them onto the box...

I watch them burn, with tears and I start to walk away, "Goodbye Yugi..."

Would you tell me I was wrong? Would you help me understand?

Are you looking done upon me? Are you proud of who I am?

It's been two years since I have burned the drawings. I had reapplied to Domino University in order to learn how to become a professional artist. I accomplished that in half the time it should have. I am now a famous painter. My most "famous" one is a portrait of both you and me at the Sakura tree laying together. It's in my new studio. Although I have said goodbye to you I can't help wonder if you are looking down on me. I wonder if you're proud of me... Are you happy and waiting for me...?

There's nothing I wouldn't do to have just one more chance

To look into your eyes and see you looking back...

It's been exactly three years since you've gone Yugi... I've taken out the wine we used to drink together... I begin drinking loosing myself to the alcohol... I would give anything in the world to see you one more time... To see you beautiful amethyst eyes looking at me with pride and happiness. To see you just looking back at me.

Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you, for everything I just couldn't do...

And I've hurt myself by hurting you

"Yugi..." I slurred as I drink down the last bit of what was left in the bottle. Ryou comes in looking at me with sorrowful eyes. He takes a seat and begins to join me in my misery.

"Ryou... I mish 'im so mush..." I slur as look at him

"I know Bakura, I do too," He says as he downs another can of beer.

"Ya kno Ryou-chan, I probly wash da one dat pushed my Yugi ta kill 'imself... I blamed 'im fer everytin and I said tings dat I kno I shudnt 'ave..." I tell him looking at him to see what his reaction would be.

Ryou just stares at me and finally says "You're just hurting yourself for thinking that Bakura..."

He finishes his third beer before getting up and walking out the door.

If I had just one more day

I would tell you how much that I've missed you

Since you've been away

Oh, it's dangerous

I sit in the living room trying to comprehend what he just told me. I start to cry realizing that he was right. That didn't stop me from hoping that I could have just one more day with you. If I were to see you one more time, I would tell you what I should have three years ago. I would tell you that I miss you and try to keep you from disappearing. I think that would be too dangerous, but I'm not in my right mind right now... I get up and go to my retrieve my millennium ring...

It's so out of line

I just want one more day with you. I know this is not safe, that it's out of line, but I have to have closure. I begin to start chanting ancient words to rise you spirit from the grave. Hopefully I can get one more day.

To try to turn back time

I just want to have you back like before. As I continue chanting, your spirit begins to appear before me. As soon as know that I have given your spirit enough power to withhold you at least an hour, I stop. I look at you. You seem confused as you stare at me, tears beginning to form in your eyes.

"Bakura?" you ask cautiously.

"Yugi..." I say, as i begin to cry and break down.

"Honey, what's wrong?" you say as you come closer to my face.

"Yugi... I needed closure... I needed to tell you that I am so sorry for telling you all those things back then. I am sorry for abandoning you. Ever since you died I've been trying to get over you, but I can't... The guilt is eating me alive... Yugi please forgive me... I was just so angry with what was going on..." I trailed off and started sobbing.

"Bakura... I know you didn't mean those things, but they still hurt." You say as you try to comfort me.

"I know..." I say.

"Bakura, I really do forgive you... Please try to move on for me...," you say as you embrace me

"I'll try..."

I'm sorry for blaming you

For everything I just couldn't do

And I've hurt myself

We spent the rest of the time talking about things that had happen since you died. I fell asleep in your embrace. As I fell to darkness, I heard your voice one last time.

"I will wait for you...even if you move on," you say as i finally lose consciousness

I wake up to see that you have left. I can truly live in peace even though I hurt you. I now know that you have forgiven me. I can finally stop hurting my self. I still can't believe that i was hurt myself...

By hurting you

Well that was the end... I am sorry if I made any one sad or angry. Thank you for reading... Review?