My life for you
By PHfan21
Oh please, please please no. Don't be dead. PLEASE don't be dead. You can't fucking do this to me! You can't leave me here alone. Why the fuck did you have to die? Why are you no longer breathing? Why is your heart not beating?
I asked myself these senseless questions. I knew they would not help me – nothing could ever help me now.
I picked up my little brothers limp body, pulling him into my lap. I stroked his hair, like all the times I would do when he woke up from a nightmare. His hair felt rough and matted. He hasn't had a bath since before this started. My fingertips drifted down to his face. The sweat there was already cooling. It felt like grease, slippery to the touch.
I knew I didn't have much time until he turned. But I just don't CARE anymore. It feels like my insides have been replaced with the blackest of tar. Black sludge fills me, making movement hard. I now understand the statement of limbs turning to lead.
This grief fills me so completely, I can feel the awfulness of it seep out my pores. Every sensory cell in my body is dulled, shot full of Novocain. But my eyes burn. And my stomach is turning in on itself, restless and angry.
I hug his body closer to my own, reveling in the residual warmth his once full of life self had created.
The tears still have not come. I feel like they would help ease my pain somewhat, but I can't bring them forth. My hands grip his arms involuntarily. At least I don't have to worry about hurting him anymore. For an instant I let myself take out my grief and anger on him, I squeezed his arms as hard as I could. It was odd, seeing my fingernails break the skin, easily deep enough to bleed, yet no blood came.
After I let go I could feel a dull throbbing coming from the tips of my fingers.
I took a deep breath to calm my racing heart, which was making a steady whoosh whoosh sound in my ears. Finally after a few breaths my heart returned to normal.
The end is near, I know this now. This is the end of the world. But I am not fazed. I want to feel the cool touch of his skin on my lips – one final time – so I leaned down, and kissed the tip of his little nose.
Sometime during the kiss my eyes had drifted closed, but they opened now as I was about to pull away.
My eyes stared back into his, which a moment ago had been closed. But now they were open, and they were burning with a passion. A passion, I suppose, to kill me. But all this is welcoming. I knew the moment I saw him dead, killed by one of those things, which I in turn killed, he was a goner.
I did not pull away though. Not even when he snarled at me, quite a god-awful sound that is. I didn't even flinch when he lunged at me. In fact, I turned up my head to give him better access.
His sharp teeth – still mostly baby teeth – locked onto my throat, easily puncturing the skin. I didn't feel any pain, just a sense of pressure, then loss once he tore it out.
Hot blood gushed out of the gaping hole he created. It was a tidal of a flow. The happiness in his eyes as my blood flooded his eager mouth was all worth it.
He bathed in the incredible amount of it. But not I feel dizzy, and empty. My life giving blood lay all around me. And I am glad.
My vision is swimming, and I can't speak to say any final words.
Finally I see the blackness crawling from the corner of my vision – its wispy fingers coming from the edges until I couldn't see at all. The darkness is a relief. My death is the most ultimate relief of all.
Finally now, I walk through the valley of the shadow of death.
God shall wipe away all the tears in their eyes
And there shall be no more death
Neither shall there be sorrow or crying
Neither shall there be anymore pain
The former world has past away
-Titanic
Endlessly
By Muse
Hopelessly I'll love you endlessly
Hopelessly I'll give you everything
But I won't give you up
I won't let you down
And I won't leave you falling
Falling away with you
By Muse
So i'll love whatever you become
I can feel my world crumbling
I can feel my life crumbling
I can feel my soul crumbling away
And falling away
Falling away with you
Apocalypse Please
By Muse
This is the end of the world
