A Simple Question

Kawachi wasn't weird. Or perhaps he was. Ever since he joined the Pantasia industry his world had been filled with so many freaks that he began feeling like the odd man out. So perhaps when Suwabara Kai pressed the tip of his katana's blade against Kyousuke Kawachi's neck and the other Pantasia workers didn't react, it wasn't the situation that was strange, but Kawachi for thinking so. Either way, Kawachi knew he was going to die.

"What the hell is wrong now? I didn't even do anything!" Kawachi shouted angrily, knowing he had nothing to lose since he was going to be the sword's newest stain anyways.

"There's a question I've been asking people around the Main Branch, but no one will give me a straight answer. I don't know if you're all conspiring against me, but if you don't give me the answer I need, then I'll just kill you," the swordsman-turned-baker threatened with a growing irritation in his voice.

"Fine, fine, what's the question?"

Still pressing the katana's tip dangerously close to the blonde baker's Adam's apple, the ever serious warrior questioned with a hint of suspicion, "What is sex?"

Time seemed to stand still as one of life's most frequently asked questions passed Kai's lips.

Trying his best to keep a straight face, lest he lose that face, Kawachi retorted timidly, "Why do you ask?"

Trusting Kawachi to answer him honestly, Kai let his guard down a little, "Monica asked me if I was ready for sex after I asked her why she wasn't pregnant, even though we've been together for over a year now."

Resisting the ever strong urge to call Kai an "idiot", Kawachi attempted to be as tactful as possible, "Sex is…like a ritual two people perform to show their love for each other, and a baby is created after 9 months as a result."

Lowering his sword, Kai contemplated his new found "knowledge", "So we have no baby because we haven't performed sex; that sounds logical. Is sex anything like sepukku?"

Using all his power to keep a straight face, Kawachi jokingly informed, "Well, it does involve penetrating a part of the body."

Kai's shadowed eyes widened, "Will this hurt Monica?" Although he knew Monica was as tough as he was when it came to pain, her hand burns were proof, he still didn't want to hurt her.

Letting a smirk pass his lips, Kawachi stated in his "old sage voice", "It always hurts the first time, for the girl anyways, but she'll also enjoy it."

Raising his eyebrow in skepticism, Kai questioned, "How will she enjoy me hurting her? This doesn't make sense."

Giving a smug grin, Kawachi let his lecherous smile shine through, "Oh believe me, she will."

Unsatisfied by his colleague's answers, Kai asked one more question, "Well, if you're so sure, why don't I sex you up and see if people really enjoy this strange 'pain' you speak of."

Needless to say, the Main Pantasia Branch got just a little stranger as shouts of, "Damn it, be a man and let me practice 'sex' on you!" and "Let me sex you up you scaredy-cat!" could be heard all throughout the building.