DISCLAIMER: I do not own either the World of Harry Potter or the song What Hurts the Most; although I wish I did. I am incredibly jealous of JK Rowling and Rascal Flatts.
What Hurts the Most
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house,
That don't bother me.
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out.
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while,
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me.
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay
But that's not what gets me.
Ron Weasley sat in his bedroom, looking out the rain-streaked window, almost longing. He sighed, turning to his bed, thinking again of his lost love. He looked at the queen size bed that was part of the entire pre-furnished house he had bought just for her, and collapsed into it. He closed his eyes, trying with all his might to forget the significance she had in this house. 'I can do that,' He reassured himself, 'It doesn't bother me at all. Not how our first kiss was picture perfect for her, in the rain after we won the Quidditch Cup-no, I won't think about it. I don't have to. It doesn't bother me at all.'
But, unwillingly, he let a few tears leak out of his eyes, like he had done at random for the past fortnight. Harry told him it was okay, and Harry never lied to him-except for that one time…
Ron sighed again, lying in the bed now. He couldn't help it, her leaving at that very unlucky time, upset him more than anything else did. Everyday, he'd put on his 'just fine' façade, but that wasn't what upset him…not really…it was the memory that did…
What hurts the most,
Is being so close,
And having so much to say,
And watching you walk away.
And never knowing,
What could have been.
And seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do.
()FLASHBACK()
"Hey Hermione?" Ron asked shyly, taking her hand as they walked down the short Hogsmeade street.
"Yes Ron?"
"I-I have something I want to-to tell you."
"Go ahead."
He stopped in front of the Shrieking Shack, turned to face her, and became very nervous. His hands were shaking, and he felt like there was an earthquake going on in his heart. "Erm-I've been thinking about you a lot lately."
"I have been thinking of you too Ron."
"And how our relationship is." She raised an eyebrow curiously, and starting to get worried. "I-I think that-that-er-we should-well, I don't know how to say it, really-"
Hermione's eyes widened, and tears came to her eyes. "Don't-don't say it Ron," She warned, "I-I d-don't think I could handle that kind of relationship-not-not after e-everything we've been through. Don't come and see me. Please." She turned on her heel and ran back down the street as fast as she could, tears flailing from her eyes.
Ron watched her, stunned. Slowly, he pulled the engagement ring out of his jacket pocket and stared at it. "What did I do wrong?" He asked himself, "We were doing fine. Absolutely fine. And Harry said that everyone thought we were going to move onto the next step. What, please tell me what in Merlin's bloody name did I do wrong?!" He yelled at the empty street.
Silence greeted him. He growled, shoved the ring back into his pocket, and apparated to the meeting he had to go to, to sign the final contracts and make the initial payment for the house he bought for the two of them to live in and raise a family in.
As he watched her run away, he realized only one thing, with a sudden thought.
He loved Hermione Granger more than anything.
()END FLASHBACK()
Ron groaned into his hands. "What did I do wrong?" He asked the room rhetorically, for what seemed like the thousandth time. It hurt too much. He (And apparently everyone else) thought that they were ready for marriage. As he fumbled for the right words to explain exactly what he wanted to say (Which was a lot), then she just walked away without a second thought. "Could have we gotten married? Would have we gotten along well? We've always been told we bicker like an old married couple. But, would have it really worked?"
He looked at the inscription on the ring, and knew that he had to do something. He couldn't live without her.
It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go,
But I'm doing it.
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone,
Still harder.
Getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret.
Bit I know if I could do it over,
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart,
That I left unspoken.
Ron walked out of the Ministry of Magic the next day, heading to lunch after a long day. The Death Eaters had been unusually quiet right now, and Harry said they were planning something big, so there wasn't much for an Auror to do…other than paperwork.
He looked at all the muggle shops and small things reminded him of her. The hair dryer, which he tried to 'save' her from, as it was eating her hair; the cinema where they were kicked out because he was telling her through the whole thing about how smart muggles actually were; the café where they had their one year anniversary; everything had a piece of her in them. He groaned-it was two weeks ago, and he should be over her by now. But, as he realized last night, she never would escape his mind-he loved her fully and officially now, and there was no chance of stopping it.
He stepped into The Leaky Cauldron to enter Diagon Alley when he saw a group of people he knew-or at least he thought he did. His sister, Ginny Weasley-Potter, Luna Lovegood, Neville Longbottom, Dean Thomas, Padma Patil, Draco Malfoy, Colin Creevey, Terry Boot, and Hermione, all of his former classmates. They had turned their backs on him when they heard what had happened, although he didn't know who they had heard he had broken up with her. 'At least Harry isn't there,' He thought idly, his heart breaking in pieces again as they pointedly ignored him as he passed them. 'As if this isn't hard enough, trying to forget her. But now, all of that lot make it doubly hard.'
In the middle of the night, he dragged himself out of his bed, pulling his Auror robes on over his pajamas, damning Voldemort again. He had been having a dream of their marriage, as per usual, and he felt the regret of letting her run away piling up even more. 'Why didn't I say it?' He cursed himself, 'Why couldn't I pluck up the courage and spit it out?'
He remembered his dream, with him chasing Hermione down the street, yelling at her that, for once in her life, she was wrong, and how she was right in assuming wasn't good, as it made her a mistake. Then, they kissed and made-up, then he was suddenly pulled into their wedding.
He blinked. He was now in the middle of a battle, and was barely missed by then unmistakable emerald light of the killing curse. His mind still only half there, he began to duel with the closest Death Eater.
What hurts the most,
Is being so close,
And having so much to say,
And watching you walk away.
And never knowing,
What could have been.
And seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do.
Hermione woke up from her dream crying. It was the eighth time she had had it since the break-up. Ron came after her when she ran, saying she wasn't right for once, and she was stupid for assuming, as she always told him assuming was almost always wrong. He stopped her, bent down onto his knee, and proposed to her. The dream stopped there, with the dream-Hermione crying tears of joy, but the real-Hermione crying tears of despair. It hurt so much, more than any other boyfriend she had ever had.
Then she realized, that she wanted to marry him, they were so close that she loved him. She wanted to live with him, carry his children, and help them grow-up to Quidditch-loving, incredibly intelligent, stubborn batch of red-heads.
Now, after the event, she had so much she wanted to ask him-she had started her list right after he didn't follow her, starting with, 'Why the hell didn't you follow me?'
'What would we be now?' She wondered, 'Would have we already had our wedding? Would it have been magical or muggle? Where would have we gone for our honeymoon? Where would we be living-here, his place, or a new place of our own?'
She sighed, knowing it would never happen. He didn't love her the way she loved him, and that was it.
What hurts the most,
Is being so close,
And having so much to say,
And watching you walk away.
And never knowing,
What could have been.
And seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do.
Ron's second last thought was one cursing himself that he never made up with her, or made an effort to stop her. He loved her more than life himself and wished with all his might that she returned the feelings. His last thought was a silent prayer, wishing she would be happier than everyone else, for her to have his life, and for him to be with her all the time. He knew there was nothing that could be done to save him, regardless of what the Healers said, so he thought carefully of these, then closed his eyes, waiting to join his parents and second oldest brother with a smile on his face.
Not seeing that loving you,
That's what I was trying to do.
Hermione Granger walked up to the front and paid her respects to the corpse of Ron Weasley. Sure, he had dumped her-or at least tried to, but she came because she could never forget the twelve happy years they spent as friends or the one and a half they did romantically; and she loved him. In the front row, was the rest of his immediate family, their spouses, and, in some cases, children. Ginny was bawling into a white-faced Harry's chest, and as she passed, Hermione heard Ginny crying that she was an idiot for not talking to him, when he died to help save the Wizarding World. She suddenly felt guilty; she was doing the exact same thing. She finally let go and allowed her tears to fall, as Harry pulled her close.
"Hermione," Harry said at her door quietly a week after Ron's death. His voice was barely above a whisper, and wobbled as he spoke. She didn't answer him, but looked at him, to let him know he had her attention. "I didn't know that he had kept this. I'm not sure what he was going to do with it, but he still had it. I suppose that rightfully, it's yours. He wanted you to have it." She looked at the box he was holding out to her curiously. It was wrapped in black paper. "Consider it a sympathy present." With that, Harry left her house, her curiosity building with each passing second.
She opened the package to find a small, black box. Slowly, she opened it up and was stunned. There, in the middle of the box, was a ring with a diamond in the middle and sapphires on either side of it. She felt her eyes filling up with tears as she opened the small, navy ring box. She picked up the beautiful, diamond encrusted, gold ring, and held it in her hand. She saw on the inner part o f the ring an inscription; I'll always love you.
She broke down and cried, placing the ring on her fourth finger. He had been trying to marry her!
