A/N: Hiii! I'm new here and can you believe that I only discovered the genius that is The Newsroom about a month ago?! I know, right! I've been wanting to write this for a while ( well ,a while being the 3 weeks since I finished both seasons and fell in love with this couple) and I do have a story that accompanies this one that I will post soon but for now just let me know what you think.
1. The Most Innocent Form
I crave you in the most innocent form. I crave to say good night and give you forehead kisses and to say that I adore you when you feel at your worst. I crave you in ways where I just want to be next to you and nothing more or less – Christopher Poindexter
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Will McAvoy had always been somewhat of a ladies man. A steady stream of girlfriends throughout high school and college. Being a successful lawyer didn't hurt his dating game either. But he had never been in love with any of them and he didn't mind; didn't feel like his life was emptier because of it (This may have been due to his parents' marriage. If that's what love did to you – made you stay with someone who hurt your children and laid hands on you- then he could do without it).
So when Charlie skinner sat him down in his office that day and introduced him to his new Executive Producer, he wasn't expecting how enamoured he would be with her. She was gorgeous, yes but it was more than that. It was the way she spoke with confidence and eloquence and yet still stumbled over her own random thoughts. The way her eyes lit up and her arms moved around animatedly as she spoke of her passion for telling stories that mattered. He had blurted out "yes" in the middle of MacKenzie McHale speaking, which had stunned her into silence. Will didn't even know what he was saying yes to.
Charlie had chuckled, smiled knowingly and stood up with a clap of his hands. "So we've got ourselves a show!"
Will hadn't known it yet but that was the day everything changed- the day he changed.
He found himself watching her all the time. In the rundown meeting, when she walked across the bullpen to her office, in meetings with Charlie. He craved her in the simplest form; Will just always wanted to be near her. It was actually annoying how he craved her. Her voice in his ear, her smell, the touches of reassurance. So after working with her for only two weeks, Will had decided that enough was enough. He had to satisfy his craving and so he had ripped his mic off right after his show and thrust it into the nearest person's hands and strode straight to the control room, grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the room. Mac had been surprised and asked him what he was doing in her strong British accent.
"Go on a date with me" He had blurted out as soon as he had her alone. He immediately closed his eyes in frustration when he realised it sounded more like a command than a question. What was it about her that just completely unnerved him? When he opened his eyes again she had a smirk on her face.
"I was wondering when you'd pluck up the courage and ask me" MacKenzie had said with mischievous eyes. Will had laughed and shook his head.
And so on the night of their first date he had fallen in love with her and known that he would love her for the rest of his life. That's really when his craving for MacKenzie McHale became a full blown addiction.
How had he lived for 40 something years without her? Without this love? He craved her more than ever as they went on in their relationship. To kiss good night and good morning. He just wanted to be next to her all the time, even after spending the day with her in the office; Will still wanted to fall asleep with her each night. Falling in love with Mac had been easy for him (which is something he hadn't expected given his early examples of love); he took it all in stride. He had told her he loved her after a few months of dating. It was harder for MacKenzie to deal with her intense feelings for him though. She who came from a loving home and had seen love in her parents' marriage. But she, unlike him, had her heart broken before. So Will went as slow as he could with her. He loved her in a way that startled her but at the same time she craved him too. Even though she had trouble saying it he knew she loved him too; he could tell. The way she would run her hands through his hair, kiss his shoulder after they made love, or seeking his hand walking side by side. They craved one another.
And Will was blissfully happy up until that day she had sent his world crashing down. He had been making plans and building hopes for a future with her, where he could satisfy his craving forever. He loved her so completely at that point that he couldn't even remember his life before her. Before his addiction. Will had been so angry with her. So devastated that she'd broken them; broken him. That night Mac left and an aching developed in him. An aching, like the feeling he got when he didn't have a cigarette for a few days. And he knew it was because his addiction had been taken away and he was in withdrawal.
The first few months (years) were the worst. Between the heart break, his anger and his growing craving for MacKenzie, he was in bad shape. After a while he tried to block it with copious amounts of sex and booze but that somehow just made it worse. And he resented her for that. For doing this to him. He had been perfectly happy before her- hadn't he? Who was he kidding; he couldn't even remember life before her. All he knew now was life with her and life after losing her.
When he had thought he had seen her at the university that day it resonated to the parts of himself that he kept hidden and he felt his cravings stir up again. This scared Will because he considered himself a recovering MacKenzie McHale addict (because you could never really be rid of an addiction- right?). The cravings were still there, like a dull aching in his chest; but he ignored them for the most part. And in his attempt not to fall back into addiction he fled somewhere far away with a woman who could make him forget for a while (or at least distract him because he never forgets).
And then she was there when he returned to work. Looking as beautiful as the day he met her and his craving had come back full force and he was mad at her for it. For doing this to him. How his heart still sped up at her voice and how his eyes seemed to find her in every room. Yes he craved her in the simplest form like never before. To kiss good night, to tell her he loved her, calm her fears and just to be next to. It consumed him. So for two years Will lashed out at her. Buying a ring just to hurt her and bringing in Brian had been his low points. Sleeping with Nina Howard too. And Mac took it all. Will had thought it would make him feel better, make the cravings stop. But it didn't. No matter what he still craved her (in that most innocent form).That's why he had told he that the ring was a prank. Because he still found himself following her with his eyes and watching her while she spoke and just hearing her voice would calm him down. He wanted to hurt her for pushing him to lash out at her for Genoa and if she wanted a fight- fine! That was the last way in which he could think to hurt her. He hadn't been prepared for the look of utter devastation in her face and the tears that welled up when he told her about the ring. Mac looked like he had struck the very core of her. Will regretted it immediately.
From that moment, up until Charlie had come into his office to tell him they weren't quitting, all he could think about was MacKenzie's face and the look she had when he had hurt her once again. So much so, he was barely registering what Charlie was saying. All he thought about was the pain in his chest and his addiction and his craving for a woman who he kept at arm's length for 6 years; hurting her and himself more in the process. All Will could think about that entire day was how she had been right those months ago in the hospital talking to Jim- they had been wasting time. And he really could not live for one more moment without satisfying his craving for her in its most innocent form. At that moment he jumped up interrupting Charlie's speech. He had to find her at once and make things right. And stop wasting time. Will frantically searched everywhere he could think of until he eventually shouted out into the bullpen if anyone had seen her. And the he heard her voice- the same one he had fallen so in love with. And for a second he wondered how he had let so much time pass without her by his side; entangled in every bit of his being.
He rushed to her side and spilled it all out too fast- apologies, promises, love and a proposal. And then a 'yes' whispered from her lips and a 'took you long enough'.
And that was it. His cravings of having her to kiss on the forehead, and kiss goodnight; reassure her and always just being next to her are satisfied. The rediscover and date one another all the while being engaged but they get married within 4 months because they are done wasting time. He's happy again, feeling whole and happy to have her always and at any time he wants. This time she loves him without any reservations and its more than either of them could have imagined.
Then one evening in late spring, (three months after they had been married) when he had finished immersing himself in her, MacKenzie buries her head into his chest. And while still trying to catch her breath she whispers that she is pregnant.
His world stops.
Then 7 months later when MacKenzie is handing him his squirming pink faced little girl, Will swears that he has never loved her more. From that moment a different craving developed: one for endless moments with Mac and little Avery MacKenzie McAvoy.
