MONDAY
Seth sat by a table in the corner the furthest away from the door. His coffee in front of him had already gone half cold. He wasn't enjoying it. Not like he used to. It had been a stupid idea to come here in the first place. He was looking around at the other people. Everyone was in there together. He was the only one alone, and it made his heart hurt even more than when he had been at home all alone an hour earlier.
He had been so close the night before. So damn close to saying goodbye and ending it all. He had the gun in his hand, pointing it at his temple, but he couldn't pull the trigger. He had chickened out. He was a coward. Afraid of the pain. Afraid of missing the shot and having to live in an even worse state. Afraid of the unknown darkness that awaited beyond this life. So he made a deal with himself. One more day. Just one more lousy day, hoping someone or something could make him feel something good again.
He lifted his head and he couldn't take his eyes off the woman walking through the door. Her mint green eyes stared directly into his. Her light auburn brown hair fell in waves over her shoulders. Her lips curled up in the tiniest smile but it was there and it was aimed at him. She walked directly over to his table and sat down.
"Hi," she smiled.
"Hi," he looked around. "Are you looking for someone?"
"You," she said.
"I think you have me confused with someone else," he said.
"I saw you from outside. Your sadness reaches through this room and out to the street," she said.
He blinked a few times. Despite feeling embarrassed, he didn't look down. Something about her wanted him to keep the conversation going. He wanted to learn more about her.
"I'm Avira," she said.
"I'm Seth," he said.
"What a beautiful name. It matches the face," she winked.
He blushed. Never before had a woman made him blush.
"Can I buy you something to drink?" He offered.
"I didn't come in here for a free coffee. I don't even drink coffee," she said.
"I think you're supposed to buy something or they'll throw you out," he said.
"They won't mind," she shrugged. "Look around us, Seth. No one looks at us. They don't care about us."
He looked around, and once again he was painfully aware of how lonely he was.
"Since your coffee is already cold, do you wanna go for a walk?" She asked.
His eyes widened. If he had any smiles left to give, she would get one in that moment. This sweet and pretty stranger wanted to take a walk with him. Maybe it had been the right thing to wait one more day. Even if nothing came of it, he'd still have her as his final memory.
"A walk sounds nice," he said.
It was just a short walk through town. Soon they were away from all the shops. He wanted to keep walking with her but she stopped and smiled.
"Would you like to go to the zoo with me tomorrow?" She asked.
A trip to the zoo was a small request in itself. She didn't know that she asked him to stay alive for another entire day. That wasn't the deal he had made with himself last night. Only one more day. Only Monday. Now she was asking him for Tuesday too.
"I guess I can do that," he said. "What time?"
"Come whenever you feel like it. Meet me by the red pandas," she said.
"You're gonna wait there for me all day long?" He asked surprised.
"I got a feeling you're worth waiting for," she smiled. "See you tomorrow, Seth."
He stepped in to hug her. He still wasn't sure he'd take another day so he wanted to feel her in his arms. Just for a few seconds. To have that final memory of a woman up against his body. She stepped back though, not allowing him to touch her. Once again he felt loneliness creep up on him. Of course she didn't want to touch him. She didn't want him. Nobody did.
"I'm sorry," he looked ashamed.
"Don't be," she kept smiling. "You can't touch me, Seth. And before you start blaming yourself for that, don't. It's not you. It's me. No one can touch me."
That made more sense. It wasn't him. She had a phobia of people touching her. It suddenly hit him that she had to feel as alone as he did. Living in a world with so many people, yet no one was truly there. In that moment he made the choice. He would take another day to put another smile on her face. She deserved it.
"We all got issues," he said. "I'll see you tomorrow, Avira. By the red pandas. I'll be there."
