A/N: This is part 1 of a request fic, I hope you enjoy it, I'm focusing more on characters than events. For my regular readers, you can expect more updates very soon to my other work.

DISCLAIMER: Characters and universe not owned by me, its Bioware/EA.

Leaving Earth and watching it burn was one of the hardest things Commander Andrea Shepard ever had to do.

To leave, while Reapers ravaged the planet, snuffing lives and ending futures through arbitrarily aimed laser blasts.

And the rememberings.

When she had entered the blissful oblivion over Alchera, she figured perhaps the rememberings were finally over. She had awakened courtesy of Cerberus, and not had the terrible memories boil up unbidden; the worst had been a few scattered dreams and night terrors.

But now, seeing Earth invaded, incised, defiled by these grim machine Reapers, she could feel them swell and return, simmering and ready to break free.

These thoughts distracted her even as she received orders from Hackett, yelled at Vega...

A mission. Thats what she needed to reorient herself.

At least on Mars she could channel her frustrations into her attacks, ruthlessly removing the Cerberus filth from the universe.

As soon as they were off for the Citadel, Kaidan lying unconscious in the medbay, she immersed herself in readiness reports and troop dispositions, intel updates and allied maneuvers.

As long as she didn't have time to think, she wouldn't need to recall the time Crow and Sparrow had... No.

Exodus Cluster reports.

All the happenings on the Citadel were a blur, Bailey, the Council, Chakwas at the hospital.

Sparatus approaching her and charging her with finding Fedorian.

She was Commamder Shepard: tireless, ruthless, indefatigable.

To everyone but herself.

And as the Normandy streaked away, the memories began to surface.

"Dan, get your ass back here they'll be here soon!" "No I just need one more..."

"Hey babe. No brother around, eh? Maybe I can replace him..."

"Stop! Hands on your head or I WILL fire!"

"Well looks like we'll need to beat it outta her..."

"I love you Andrea." "I love you too, Dan. Dont get yourself killed, ok?"

Snapshots of her past on Earth, her formative years learning how to survive in the underbelly, running with the 10th Street Reds, defending turf and going on treasure runs...

She had wandered into the shuttle bay, not really paying attention, fiddling with the supply consoles. She looked up to see James Vega working out at his station, pushing his muscled body up against the ship's artificial gravity, effortess now- he must have just begun a rep.

She walked over to him, hoping the bear of a man might be able to distract her.

Soon she found herself in a sparring match, learnimg about the man as thry traded blows. It ended when she flipped him on his back, admonishing him about his outlook. As he lay there pinned, she saw a flash of something- something familiar.

But as soon as she had seen it, his confident jarhead demeanor was back.

"Whoa there, Lola. Might need to at least cook me some dinner first."

Slightly embarrased, Andrea offered a hand and pulled up the beefy man, combat-toned muscles easily pulling up the man, and brushed herself off.

"Thanks, Commander. You've shown me the big picture. I get it. Its just hard, first Fel Pri-" The lietenant's eyes glazed over at his second mention of the sour posting.

"Ah forget it. My reports would be available to you anyway."

The man ambled off to get back to his setup, and Shepard called out, "So why 'Lola'?"

Vega stiffened as if surprised and turned his neck slightly. "You remind me of... Well, someone I knew a long time ago. Back on Earth. She was small and hot too."

Andrea allowed herself to glare at him and crossed her arms. "Oh really?"

The marine chuckled. "Yeah. And she could beat my ass no matter what."

Shepard uncrossed her arms and stretched. "As long as you remember that we'll get along just fine, Vega."

She left for the elevator, cheered slightly.