So I got this idea with the new episode and the line that Haru says to Rin. I am twisting the sense of them but the thing that someone doesn´t see a future for themselves it´s one of the signs of depression (as I recall, correct me if I am wrong). So I wrote this in a glimpse of inspiration. So hope you like it and leave your opinions in the reviews.
Depression
You are drifting. It´s hard to notice a real change, but you feel different. You feel desperate, you want to scream, you want to run away but everything stays the same around you. You barely sleep, you barely talk or smile.
I miss those smiles, I miss feeling your aura feeling me up.
You simply don´t care anymore and it´s hilarious how much people is caring about you now. You think they care only about your talent and your skills but most of us care about you. We care about the young boy inside of you that feels helpless and not worth enough. You are. You are worth it and it hurts to see you not noticing.
You don´t feel anything. You can´t name the feeling. You can´t put a label to the oppression over your chest whenever they ask about your future… whenever I ask you about it. You have stopped fighting, moving, breathing, everything has gone black and you drown in that darkness.
Please, look at me and pull your eyes off the ground!
Please, stop this nonsense!
Please, just breathe!
Please, don´t!
Please!
!
You're the one who doesn't understand!
What dream? What future?
I´m not you!
I don´t have any of that!
I watch sleep and sigh. Your wrists are still red because of the blood and the only sight of your bathroom gives me goose bumps. Makoto is outside in shock. Nagisa is a mess. Rei doesn´t say anything. None of us do.
You wanted to escape and you almost made it. I almost lost you. My throat is sore from screaming your name and my clothing is painted with your blood and some of my tears. I hold your hand and wait.
Suicide attempt.
I wait for that name to make any sense. I can´t find it. I don´t think anyone understand it completely. I can hear myself starting to cry again.
You open your eyes and the first thing you see is the hospital´s roof. I see your eyes getting watery and your hand hold mine even tighter.
"I´m sorry." I say out of nowhere. You don´t look at me and I don´t know why I am grateful. "I´m so sorry."
I should have seen the signs. I should have been there. I should have understood. I should…
"Why?"
You ask me.
"Why are you here?"
After all we have been through I´m shocked to hear that question.
"Why did you save me?"
You look at me and all I see is your grief. All I can feel is your pain and your shame. I shook my head and kiss your hand.
You whimper.
"What is happening to me?"
Depression , ten simple words and I can´t find the sense, the meaning of it. I don´t you find it either.
"I don't know."
