She pulled her face away from the fireplace, knowing that her tears had dried but their telltale streaks would remain until she washed them away. She hadn't heard him move but she couldn't feel him touching her anymore. There was no hand resting on her lower back, no weight against her head, gently stroking her hair away from her face. She could still feel him sitting next to her, his body on the couch was still heavy, his arm lazily stretched out along the back of it. When she turned to him she found him watching her, as she knew she would. She regretted her last words but was unsure of how to take them back or even if she could. His eyes were steady and she could see the hurt that swirled beneath their hazy surface. She longed to take it away and it ached all the more because she knew she was the reason behind it.
"Mulder…I…" she stammered, her eyes darting around the room as if in search for comfort. She knew what she needed to say but now how.
He remained silent and watched her intently. He didn't try to speak and left her to struggle with her own words, her own thoughts.
"I'm sorry," she said simply. She looked back to his eyes and resettled herself on the couch, turning her whole body towards him. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I don't know where it came from." She was waffling, all her thoughts battling for supremacy. "I…I'm sorry."
She tore her eyes away from his and looked down to her lap. She crossed her legs beneath her and twisted her fingers together. For a moment he said nothing and a fear began to build up in the pit of her stomach, but then she heard him sigh.
"Scully," he began tenderly, but she didn't look up. "Look at me." His hand reached out and touched her shoulder. "Look at me…please." Slowly she looked up with out moving her head, her eyes watching him from beneath her long lashes.
"Buried deep inside you, covered in this perfect shell," he rubbed a stray lock of her hair between his thumb and forefinger. "A charming, beautiful exterior, laced with brilliant smiles and shining eyes and perfect makeup," he leaned in closer and gently stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers. "But you have to be honest…with yourself…with me…you're barely scraping by."
She stayed still as his hand cupped her chin and his thumb began to stroke her cheek. "This is one time that you can't fake it hard enough for me."
"I don't know what you mean."
"You've hidden it for so long, so well, in the public eye, such a stellar monument to loneliness," he moved her head so she faced him fully. "I wont let it go on."
He tenderly pulled her into a tight embrace. She leaned into his body, her head resting low on his chest, her arms curled around his waist. He shifted her so she sat on his lap and held her tenderly.
"You don't have to feel this way anymore." He felt her arms tighten around him and he returned the squeeze, his face pressing into her neck.
"I'm sorry Mulder."
"I know," he said simply.
He smiled and she could feel it against her skin. He gently pressed a kiss to the sensitive skin just below her earlobe and delighted in the shiver she emitted. Pulling away, he leaned back so he could see her face. Her eyes were shimmering with tears she had yet to spill and he smiled.
"I used to watch you Scully. I'd see your confidence, your power, your convictions and I was jealous."
"Jealous?"
"You seemed so at ease with yourself. When I spent time with you I could feel it. I loved to be close to it…to you. But I knew there was more. I knew you were deeper. And now…" When he paused she frowned.
"Now what?"
"Now I see it all. The real you. You said earlier that I didn't know you, that I never will…well Scully I know you hate to hear this but…you're wrong." He caught her wandering eyes with his own. "I know you better than you do yourself. I know the loneliness you feel and battle everyday…I feel it too, I fight it too." This time she didn't look away. "But not anymore, I'm tired of fighting."
Her face was so close now he could feel her breath cross his lips. Her eyes were shining, their blue, dark and brimming. He leaned closer still and she could no longer tell if it was her breath or his that warmed their faces.
"Me too."
Her words were whispered but he heard them as if they had been shouted from the top of her lungs. He moved against her, his body touching hers, sending hot sparks to ignite her spine. He hesitated his lips but finally they reached their target. She was ready for his kiss and took it willingly. Welcoming the soft tender brush that soon intensified into a longing embrace. Slowly his hand came up from her shoulder and reached into her hair, holding the back of her head and causing wonderful sensations to expand from his fingers.
Eventually he pulled away, kissing her softly on the corner of her mouth and her jaw line as he made his way slowly but exquisitely to her neck. He sat back and looked at her shyly but when he found her smiling he exhaled not realising he had been holding his breath.
"Hey…" she said.
"Hey," he returned and gently stole another sweet kiss.
"Thank you Mulder."
"Anytime…" He spoke as he softly nuzzled her neck.
"No, I mean thank you, for showing me how much better it can feel…for setting me free."
"I dunno it was kinda selfish," he murmured between kisses.
"What do you mean?" she asked basking in the feel of his breath and lips against her neck.
"Well I only released you, so I could capture you for myself." Her neck danced beneath his lips as she chuckled.
"Does this mean I get to call you Fox?"
"Call me what you like baby, just call me!"
Her head fell back out of his lips reach as she laughed but the feel of her body shaking against his made up for it and soon he found himself laughing with her.
"I guess we're both free now," she whispered when the laughter had faded.
"Free to live, free to be our selves…free to be together."
"Together," she repeated and claimed his lips once more.
FINISHED.
