Disclaimer: The characters and situations of Harry Potter depicted in this story are the legal property of J.K. Rowling, Bloomsbury, and Warner Brothers, and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Note: Just a random little thing that popped into my head. My English teacher was in a meeting and just as she came back, we had a bomb scare at school so I thought of this while we were being evacuated into the neighbouring park. You don't have to review, though it would be nice if you did. All I ask is that you give my story a chance, Miss Zee.
Summary: Just another day in the Malfoy Household.
Life as a Malfoy
Narcissa: I'm leaving you!
Lucius: Okay.
Narcissa: Don't you care!?
Lucius: Yes.
Narcissa: Then why aren't you trying to stop me!?
Lucius: It requires too much effort…
Narcissa: So I'm not worth the effort! You don't love me anymore! Bursts into tears)
Lucius: Stop being a drama queen Narcissa. I ordered the house elves to put wards up to prevent you leaving, this morning.
Narcissa: So you do care!
Lucius: (In an undertone so Narcissa cannot hear They were to prevent you from shopping…
(Draco walks into the room)
Draco: Mother, Father, I am in love with Harry Potter!
Lucius: Good, good, you can seduce him, make him trust you, then turn him over to the Dark Lord. We'll finally get back into his good graces, though I guess we'll have to expose that you're gay…
Draco: Never! I won't betray my love!
Lucius: We could always say you were just pretending.
Draco: Father, I won't! I refuse!
Lucius: Yes, that could work; we could say it was all part of a carefully constructed plan!
Draco: Father, no!
Lucius: Fine! Then you just won't be allowed near him!
Narcissa: Lucius! How could you stand to the way of true love and our wittle dragon's happiness!?
Draco: Mom! I told you to stop calling me that!
Narcissa: Draco, shut up!
Draco: Pouting Fine.
(Gandalf walks into the room and goes to Draco)
Gandalf: (Shaking him) Frodo! Where is the ring!?
Draco: (Looking scared shitless) Who the hell is Frodo!?
Gandalf: The ring! Where is the ring!?
Lucius: What is this ring, and why are you shaking my gay, in-love-with-his-master's-enemy son!?
Gandalf: (Turning to Lucius) Samwise Gamgee! What did you hear!?
Narcissa: Dumbledore!?
Gandalf: Oh, is this the Harry Potter books? My, my, this is embarrassing; I'm in the wrong story! Pleased to meet you all, I'm Gandalf the Gray, and later on, Gandalf the White, from Lord of the Rings, Must be leaving now, goodbye.
(Gandalf leaves the room)
Narcissa: Well… That was…
Lucius: Odd… And just a bit creepy…
Draco: So… Dad… I'm still passionately in love with Harry Potter…
Lucius: Kid, that just isn't going to compare to what just happened so give it a rest, will you.
Draco: Yeah, whatever, I thought not…
(Draco leaves the room)
Narcissa: Is our son an attention seeker or what!?
Lucius: Hell yeah.
Narcissa: So… I guess I'm not leaving you so you want to go make out in our room?
Lucius: Sure.
