A very heartbreaking story inspired by Elliot and Olivia's talk in Sophomore Jinx. Break out the Kleenex. You've been warned.
Disclaimer: Not mine!
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Olivia Benson ignored the strange looks of those around her as she passed hurriedly through the crowd. She always got those looks when she was walking this way.
She didn't linger to talk, didn't give them a glance. Why did it matter? They weren't going to make her happy. They weren't going to bring her smile back.
And they certainly weren't going to put the shattered pieces of her heart back together.
She finally arrived at her destination, and the pain washed over her anew. But then again, it had never really stopped in the two months since it had began.
Fresh tears dripped down her cheeks as she dropped to her knee in front of the small memorial. Here in this spot, just two months ago, someone had died. And they had taken her heart with them.
Her eyes closed, and she was taken back to that muggy day when a lunatic with a gun had taken the most important person in her life away from her. It wasn't fair. The son of a bitch had pulled his gun out before she even had a chance to realize what was happening. And that moment of hesitation was all he needed.
The explosion of the bullet leaving the gun... the yell of pain from its intended target...
A shudder went through her. Her finger had curled around the trigger, and before she could blink the perp was dead. Then she scrambled over to her fallen partner, not even hearing herself screaming his name.
"Elliot!"
His eyes were still open, but they were wide and filled with pain and fear. Olivia reached out and rested her hand against his cheek.
"Stay with me, El." She grabbed her radio, her hand shaking as she gave dispatch their address, then the words that no officer ever wants to say or hear.
"10-13! 10-13! Officer down!"
Then she dropped her radio and gently gathered her fallen partner into her arms. Blood was everywhere... Coming to her senses, Olivia pressed the heel of her hand roughly against his chest, hoping to stem the blossoming of blood across his light blue shirt. "Just stay with me, Elliot. Help is coming." She cradled his head gently in her other hand.
He gasped and coughed, and a tiny rivulet of blood ran down from the corner of his mouth.
At the sight of the blood, Olivia swallowed a surge of panic and held him closer to her. "Shh..."
He coughed again and buried his face in her shoulder, weakly gripping her shirt. Breathing was becoming a harder and harder task as the seconds ticked by.
His warm blood soaked her hand and clothes. They both knew that he was fading fast, and they both fought against it.
Somewhere in the distance, Olivia heard the wailing of sirens, and for a moment her heart lifted. "The ambulance is coming, El. Help is coming. You're going to be okay."
He finally withdrew his head from her shoulder, bringing his gaze to lock with hers. "T-Tell my kids..."
Olivia pressed a gentle finger against his lips, her eyes filling with tears again. "I know," she whispered. "I will."
His eyes closed slowly. "And...and I love... I love you, Liv."
She moved his hand away from his chest to cup his cheek. "I love you, too, El." She loved him more than she thought she could ever love another human being.
And now she was losing him.
"K-Kiss me..." he begged, his voice little more than a soft whisper.
A sob bubbled up in her throat as she leaned over and brushed her lips against his.
She opened her eyes again, running a hand through her thick hair. By the time the ambulance had arrived, Elliot was gone, and they had to pry him out of his sobbing partner's arms. He was dead and nothing would bring him back.
A bag was clutched in her trembling hands, and she finally opened it and tore down the shrine that had been erected in his memory where he had been slain.
Some items she placed lovingly in the bag. Cards from his children, pictures, small stuffed animals. Others she placed aside to toss away, though she didn't have a doubt that a struggle to do just that would ensue.
Every day she came here, despite the looks and words spoken behind her back. She knew what others thought, and she didn't give a damn. It was what he had wanted. He didn't want shrines built to his memory. He didn't want...this. And years ago, he had made her promise that if he died, she would never let it happen.
So she hadn't.
She zipped her bag shut, then reached her hand down and laid her palm flat against the concrete. "I still love you, El," she breathed, letting his memory was over her like a cleansing rain.
"I will for as long as I live."
I'd give you a kidney.
And look how great you turned out.
You and this job are about the only things I've got anymore. I don't want to wreck that.
What's to stop him from coming after you, Olivia?
I'm the longest relationship you've ever had with a man.
She cradled her head in her hands, then finally wiped her tears away and slung the bag over her shoulder. He had once promised her that he would always be with her, that he would never leave her side. And he had broken that promise.
But in their line of work, nothing was ever guaranteed. Not even tomorrow. It could all be cut short by a bullet, a knife, or even a drunken idiot behind the wheel of a car where he did not belong.
The only thing she could do was exactly what Elliot would have wanted her to. Go on living her life.
Her glance lifted skyward. "I kept my promise, El." She looked at the bare ground again, knowing that soon it would be covered in memorabilia again.
She finally turned around and left the spot, knowing that she would be coming back again tomorrow. And as she walked, she could still hear his voice as if he was standing right beside her, speaking those words that had never left her, even eleven years after he had said them.
I'm just saying, if I ever go down, you better make sure the place where my body is found doesn't ever look like this or I will haunt you for the rest of your days.
She reached up and grasped the engagement ring that hung on a golden chain around her neck, fingering it gently. She had kept that promise to him.
So why was he still haunting her?
The End.
A/N: *hides under rock from flaming sporks* I warned you guys! I'm still crying after writing it! Uggh. Now I have to write some fluff. Thanks for reading, and please review while I glare impatiently at my calendar in anticipation for my 21st birthday. 12 days to go... Review!
