Never Ask

Note: These are real people so...this is a bit weird to be writing about them. Aw heck, this stupid note isn't going well...To hell with the bloody note.

They were occupying a small town, with an adequate and even large liquor store. E company piled into the houses, occupying rooms and liberating forks and knifes and other articles. All the while the Germans were just a river across and constantly shelling the town.

Lewis Nixon liberated perfectly good bottles of liquor, in the middle of the night. Winters knows this and knows there's not much he can do about it. He tried a few times and got hit in the head with an empty whiskey bottle. He gave up on actual attempts and tried a more subtle approach. The more subtle approach was hard to find. He worried about his friend more and more.

Nixon on the other hand had no worries except for never finding a single bottle of Vat 69, this worried him, a lot. He'd sit in his house, a small 2 story house, and think and things that only he thought of in times of war. He thought of his dog, his ex-wife and how much liquor he had. This made days seem shorter, life less miserable and the war much slower in a drowsy unconcerned illusion.

No one else thought of the war as an unconcerned illusion. Particularly, Lipton who had to save Nixon before he got killed by shells from a German barrage. This scared Lipton a bit seeing Nixon walk around town.

Nixon found his walks around town pleasant. Suddenly everything was quiet, and then he was tackled by Lipton. He found this odd and then the peace and quiet was broken by the sound of shells and explosions. Lipton dragged him behind a wall and left him there and ran off to help another soldier and whom he also pulled to the wall. The other soldier was hit in the leg.

"Hello there how's life?" Nixon asked.

"No so great. Shit, aw shit this hurts." the soldier replied.

"What? Did I do something?" Nixon asked, alarmed at the fact that he might be physically hurting the soldier.

"I'm hit in the leg."

"Oh." Nixon, still drunk, thought about this. "Want a sip?" He held up the bottle to the soldier. The soldier took the bottle and drank.

"Thanks."

Suddenly a shell exploded above their heads. Most of the shrapnel hit the wall and blew most of it away. But a single piece cut across the soldier's head killing him instantly. Nixon stared at the soldier for a while. Retracing their conversation over and over again, trying to find what went wrong, why did he have to be killed? Why not Nixon? Why him, the poor man, he looked to be about 21, Nixon suddenly didn't feel too good. Nixon took another long drink of the whiskey, emptied the bottle, threw it away and headed towards the liquor store.

The shelling continued. Nixon popped his head above the wall; the cost was clear and slowly crawled to the other end of the street. He turned the corner and another shell landed next to him. It was a dud. He didn't feel any better.

Nixon spent the rest of the barrage in the liquor store watching shells explode and replaying the entire European campaign in his mind. He saw a lot of things he didn't want to see again, he saw his dog and his wife and Winters and Blythe, Sobel and Camp Taccoa and the like. He didn't drink once during this long daydream. The thought that alarmed him the most was the wounded nameless dead soldier. He was right next to him and was killed. He wondered what would've happened if the shell landed 2 inches right. He wondered what if that bullet which bounced off his helmet actually killed him. At this thought he reached for another bottle of liquor on a random shelf.

It was dark out and the shelling stopped. Winters found the no more subtle approach and decided to try again at talking to Nixon. Winters walked slowly and ducked behind walls once in a while trying not to be hit by snipers, none hit him. Winters who never had a drink in his entire life had a hard time locating the liquor store. After stumbling into 1st Platoon's house, Webster and Carson's cellar and Speirs' CP, he found the liquor store.

Winters was about to greet Nixon when Nixon suddenly greeted him. "Hello there. How's life? Marvelous I bet."

"Nix," Winters began, pausing and rephrasing a few sentences, "You ought to stop liberating liquor from this store." Winters finally said.

"Liberating?" Nixon turned to look at Winters, "Liberating? Why would I be liberating liquor when I ought to be liberating all the poor fellows all over Europe?" Nixon took a drink, "I ought to be saving the world! I mean, look at it! Why are here if not to save the world from Hitler? I haven't fired more than 2 clips this whole fucking campaign! But I have liberated more then my share of liquor! Why? Because I am not good enough for anything else."

"You use to hide your liquor in my foot locker." Winters said.

"Yes sir, I did." Nixon replied, drinking more. "I saw a man get killed today." Nixon stated flatly. Winters didn't reply.

"At that moment something hit me like shrapnel hit that guy across the face. It could have been me. I could be killed any minute. But I'm not dead and neither are you. You ought to think about it. It's a miracle! I mean, that man was only 21 at least and he's dead! And here I am, not dead. Dieing sounds boring, ceasing to exist unless you are already dead, that's as fun as it gets, as good as it gets, as far as life goes. In truth I think dieing explains a lot of things, a lot of things not mean to be understood by the living or it will corrupt the human race!" Nixon took a long sip. Winters took a seat on the shelf and was listening to his friend babble on and on. This was not what Winters was expecting. This also struck Winters as concerning, his friend could be killed any minute.

"You see Dick, you ought to enjoy life, because as far life goes is as far as anything goes. It would be a shame to loose it. We are fighting a war sure, but goddamn it Dick, we are in Europe! Come on! People pay to be here! We are shipped over seas free of charge like sardines! And you don't even enjoy it! I mean I can be killed by a fucking shell I ought to stop, pause and think about my life." Nixon did pause right there and think about life. "I have a dog, an ex-wife a lot problems, a lot of liquor to waste my problems on and I might die and never see you again and all that but right now I happen to like my position."

"You are not going to die Nix." Winters said sternly, "Not as long as I'm around."

"Why do you care?" Nixon asked, "You got friends Dick! A life! What is it to you if I die or not? Why are you even here??"

"You are my friend and I happen to care about you." Winters replied.

"Go care about something worthwhile."

"I am."

"Want to take a walk?" Nixon suddenly asked.

"Why not."

They left the Liquor shop and walked around town. They turned the corner and another corner and Winters thought about Nixon's long lecture on life and Nixon thought about something worthwhile. Mostly he thought about Winters' comment.

"This reminds of something." Nixon declared.

"What are you think off?" Winters asked.

"Sobel." Nixon replied, "Fucking asshole."

"This reminds me of something that reminds you of something else." Winters said. Nixon laughed. He took a seat against a wall.

"Today I leaned against this wall and saw that guy get killed." Nixon declared. "Today I realized the importance of life and liquor. And the importance of a lot other things." Nixon paused and drank the last of his whiskey.

"Mission accomplished." Winters said to himself.

"Now, I feel like dieing." Nixon stated. "Dieing in a miserable horrible death because I can't stand it, how important not dieing is. How simple it is and how easy it is to die. I can't stand it because I can stand it." Nixon laughed at his comment.

Winters laughed too, finding it ironic. "You don't want to kill yourself." Winters laughed and laughed and suddenly he found out he wasn't laughing, he was crying. Crying for a lot of things, for this place, for life itself, for the people who died in this miserable place, for the existence, for purpose of being, for the reason he fight and for his friend, the man sitting against wall who in his drunk unconcerned illusion realized the simples components of life. Crying for the fear of death of his friend, the only one he has in the entire ETO who made him understand such things. Crying.

Nixon sat against the wall, listening to Winters laugh and hearing the laughter turn into a silent crying. He understood why and yet he didn't. Winters had no reason to cry, but he didn't feel like thinking about why and why not, he was dizzy and he felt like sleeping. Suddenly he felt like water. Water, cool crisp water.

"Do you have any water?" He asked.