Well, as I was reading your reviews in a poor attempt to boost my ego, I decided it was high time I wrote something. That and I've gotten rather fond of writing about Stein and Marie. Their banter is too much fun to write. I write it anyway, though. I'm a rebel like that. "That" being no rebellion at all. As a matter of fact, I'm just about the lamest kid ever. I won't give you any examples, because, trust me, there are examples (voluntarily writing an apology letter to someone I'd wronged even though he didn't know I'd done anything) so I can maybe salvage any kind of amazingly awesome visual you might have of me.
Man, I ramble easily.
So, uh... Carry on my wayward son?
Enjoy.
Stein just didn't get it. Frogs? Great. The soul cycle of a kishin? University major. Eighty-two percent of the world's endangered species list? Awesome. Women? Ouch. Marie specifically? Eeeeee...
Stein and Marie had been married for one year. They'd had some good times, including one exciting vacation to Rabid Crocodile Island. They'd also had some bad times, including the time right after the first twenty minutes at Rabid Crocodile Island. However, through it all, they became a better couple, if not a little more scarred and a little more vaccinated.
Lately, though, Stein has used his keen observation skills to notice that in the past week, Marie's mood had been far more cheerful. She allowed him to sleep until noon. When they went on a less-than-agreed-upon stroll through town, Marie would point out things like dresses, jewelery and expensive restaurants. Why she thought Stein needed these things, he wouldn't know. She cooked only the meals he asked her to make and did his laundry without complaining about the blood stains. She sewed his chair.
Marie, for the past week, had been the most cheerful and exuberant woman on the face of the earth. To Stein, it was almost blinding. Last night, something happened. Marie casually asked Stein what day it was tomorrow. He'd answered truthfully.
"The nineteenth." He sipped his coffee.
He became confused when, after having a frown briefly come to her face, she asked again.
"Tomorrow is Saturday, June nineteenth, year twenty-ten. Do you need an hour? A minute?"
Marie didn't scowl. She didn't curse. She didn't even have the audacity to laugh. Her face was blank and she stated she was going to bed.
Then, as quickly as it had come, her good mood stopped. And boy did he wish it hadn't.
Marie, for the past four hours, had been the angriest and most terrifying woman on the face of the earth. For starters, she'd woken him with a loud bang and a whir from a power drill. She stood over his bed with one of his over sized surgical drills and told him to get out of bed this instant because breakfast was ready. A quick glance to his right told him it was six o' clock AM. Stein blanched and narrowly missed the drill bit as it came down toward his head. Before today, Stein hadn't been one hundred percent sure that there was a six AM. It was a discovery he didn't want to risk making. Sitting down on his chair, Stein fell to the floor as his chair fell apart. Marie looked at him.
"Aww, that's too bad. Your chair broke. Maybe I'll fix it today, whatever today is." she sneered.
Stein's mouth was dry with words that couldn't be formed even in his own fantastic mind. Marie set down his breakfast with a hard clatter and the distinct sound of his wooden table breaking. As Marie began to eat, Stein noticed something strange.
"Marie, why are we having danishes? I don't like them."
"Really?" She said venomously, "I thought you loved them. Like you love blueberry. Like you love other things."
Stein gulped, "Actually, I'm allergic to blueberry-"
Marie glared. Stein loosened his collar. Was it getting harder to breathe or was that just him?
"Luckily, today I wanted to test how detrimental the effects of blueberry are on me. Out of ten, last time it was a seven."
Several shots and two hours in bed eventually made the swelling go away, but the redness took a little longer.
Getting back upstairs, Marie was waiting for him.
"Oh, Stein, good. How were the results?" She said sweetly, an underlying current of rage surged clearly underneath.
"Eight."
"Excellent! By the way, for your own safety, I helped you out!"
Stein paled slightly, "What did you do?"
She held up a screw driver and a handful of screws, "I took the wheels off your chair!"
Stein snapped.
"What's up with you? Menopause?"
On second thought, blacking out for four hours wasn't necessarily a bad thing considering this early morning.
Later, Stein, taking great note on how much his head hurt and how irritable his wife was, decided to hide out with Spirit.
"Girl trouble, Stein? Really?" Spirit exclaimed, only partially surprised.
"Yes, Spirit. However, I didn't come here for your advise. I merely came here to escape Marie's sudden wrath." Stein said, "Besides, if I wanted information on how to achieve divorce, that's when I'll come for your opinion."
Ten minutes of Spirit sobbing childishly over Kami and Maka, the man was finally calmed by Stein's offering of a glass of brandy.
"Well, Stein, there's only one thing you can do. Buy her pretty things and cry for forgiveness."
Stein walked out the door only after spilling Spirit's good brandy on his new rug.
Walking around the neighborhood and keeping a sharp sensor open for any sign of Marie's soul signature, Stein came across Soul, walking as confusedly and agitatedly as Stein had.
"Hello, Soul. May I ask what the problem is?"
Soul grumbled, but they both took a seat on a nearby bench.
"It's Maka." He said plainly, " She's been really nice lately and then today she's been acting like the freaking advocate of malicious deeds. I don't know what happened!"
Stein thought, "Did you miss her birthday or something? Sounds like she's been wanting you to take notice of a special upcoming event."
It was interesting, Soul's face, as Stein watched. It started out appalled for a moment and then like it had just been hit by a two ton brick of realization. Then the panic segued in and soon, Soul was racing in the direction of his apartment. He hadn't even said thank you. Not even "bye".
Stein decided it was time to walk home and face Marie. However, when he did so, he was disturbed to find Marie in a state far more distressing than the one he had woken up to.
Marie was on their bed, crying.
"Marie..." Stein started.
"You, Shut up! I don't want to hear anything from a lout who can't even remember our wedding anniversary."
Oooh. The two ton brick of realization was a heavy one.
Stein did something strange though. He laughed and took out a cigarette.
"Is that what this is about?" he lit the small cylinder, "Now, before you punch me out again, let me go get something."
Marie waited, sniveling, confused and a little bit hopeful. Her husband reappeared a moment later with a package in his hand.
"See, I ordered this a few months ago for you. I saved it for just this occasion, but I suppose I forgot to mark it on my calendar. My bad. Sorry it's not wrapped." He handed her the apparel.
Carefully, Marie slipped the case out of it's elegant outer binding and opened it's soft velvet lid.
A ring sat delicately in the centre. Decorating the white gold band was a little topaz gem, shaped to look like a stitched circle. Engraved in the middle were words.
Here you go.
Not terribly romantic but ridiculously Stein. Tearing up again, Marie slipped on the ring.
"We never really had an engagement ring, couldn't afford it for all a wedding costs, so here it is a little late. Well, Happy belated engagement. Oh, and anniversary."
With a hug so tight, Stein nearly died of circulation loss, Marie was finally happy. And, despite the bodily injury he had faced that day, Stein was, too.
Hey, did anyone else picture Stein and Marie in a crappy "wish you were here" postcard when I mentioned Rabid Crocodile Island? Stein in a tacky floral T-shirt and Marie and he wearing matching angered crocodile hats. Stein smiles and waves. Marie screams for her life.
Man, I wish Rabid Crocodile Island existed.
