It's YAOI L x Light (NOT THE OTHER WAY!) Light and L are NOT chained together.
I'm not Tsugumi Oba nor Takeshi Obata, so I don't own The Death Note.
English is NOT my first language so… remember that I did my best…
CHAPTER ONE
Ryuzaki stepped into the main room and paused hearing full of enthusiasm voice of Matsuda:
„… Light is gay. I'm telling you and I can prove it! The way he looks at his fingernails and the way he fixes his hair… the way he sits! It's all so…"
"…Matsuda-san!" Ryuzaki didn't raise his voice but you could hear true irritation dripping from his words. "Why don't you use your amazing deduction skills to find the proof that Yagami-kun is or isn't Kira instead of talking about your assumptions about his sexuality to his co-workers while he is not even here? You are clearly forgetting the fact that he is not only my friend, but also a son of your chief and a part of this very team."
Matsuda sweat-dropped but apologized. "…I… I'm sorry, Ryuzaki-san…"
Ryuzaki's irritation only grew stronger. Working with people was apparently beyond his talents. "For what? For spreading this information as a fact, not knowing if it is true, you own an apology to Light-kun not me. You could also apologize to the investigation team for wasting their time and distracting them from work."
Just then Light strode proudly into the room, checking and fixing his aready perfect hair while passing a mirror and not missing L's frown at his gesture.
"What happened, L? Matsuda didn't put enough sugar to your tea?"
The detective just sighed and rubbed his forehead. "No, Yagami-kun. He just disappointed me as a member of the investigation team."
The statement brought a smirk to Light's face. "It's not like it's something new…"
Ryuzaki didn't answer. He walked to the other side of the room, sat in his chair and answered a phone-call. While he was speaking to someone in French, Light looked at Matsuda in a silent question. When the man stayed silent he hid his irritation and just asked.
"What happened? It looks serious…"
Matsuda smiled cheerfuly. "…No… It's nothing, Light-kun…"
During the day L didn't speak to Matsuda unless it was absolutely necessary and unavoidable. Actually, it was always like that, but this time Matsuda really felt that L ignores him.
"It's not fair. Why is he doing this to me? I had no idea that something like that could make him so angry… What difference does it make if Light is gay or not? Do you think that L is a homophobe?"
Izawa dropped some files in front of his young collegue. "NO. Stop this already, Matsuda! L is right. You are saying those things and you make us believe this. Maybe he just didn't like your behavior? His social skills are low but you must say that his manners aren't. Besides, maybe he is worried about the vibes between the members of the team. He is not this kind of a guy who could be interested in rumors. It wasn't about the fact that it was about Light or that you were talking abut being gay. I think he just didn't like the fact that you were talking about someone behind this person's back."
Mogi nodded sagely. "I think Aizawa's right. Don't worry about that."
The youngest man didn't try to hide his frustration. "How can you say that? It's not like I'm lying! I really think that Light is gay! And I can prove that!"
On the next day when L was talking to Light Matsuda stepped into the room with the single white rose in his hand.
L lowered his voice to the level that only Light could hear and asked: "Yagami-kun, if Matsuda gives you that flower PLEASE do not accept it."
Light chuckled. "But why? It's beautiful."
Before L could answer Matsuda was already by Light's side. "Light-kun, may I speak with you for a moment?"
"Sure, Matsuda-san. What happened?"
Matsuda scratched the back of his head innocently. "Well... Yesterday I was talking about you while you were not there and… I just wanted to apologize. This is for you."
Light smiled politely hiding that he was gritting his teeth to not say anything rude. "It's all right, Matsuda-san. I accept your apology, but I'm afraid I can not accept this beautiful gift. Please, give it to Misa later. I'm sure she will be happy."
Matsuda's eyes widened. "…oh… all right… Light-kun… I will."
When he went back to the rest of the team he angrily handed some money to Mogi and Aizawa.
L disappeared in the kitchen.
Light couldn't help but wonder in his head, why Ryuzaki didn't want him to accept the flower from Matsuda? Why was he so angry with the policeman? What Matsuda-san could say about Light that made L so upset… Could it be… no… it couldn't be IT… But normally when Matsuda says something stupid L doesn't even care. And this time he did care. He cared a lot! He got mad at Matsuda… for saying something about Light… Cold-hearted, always indifferent L had lowered himself to the level of being angry with someone who wasn't Light! It was more than weird.
Light went after Ryuzaki to the kitchen and was met with his bony back covered with white shirt and his messy black hair. L was sitting at the kitchen table with his knees under his chin and was carefully putting some gummy bears into his ice cream.
Light looked at him and felt his blood rush in his veins. His heart started to beat faster, as always when he could observe L. He hated the way he felt around the young detective, but he also craved for every moment of it. Since the very first moment he saw him (during the entrance exam) he felt weird. Then as the days passed, among all the people at the campus this weird creature was the only one that he was looking for with his chestnut eyes. And when that creature finally spoke, its voice got stuck in Light's head like some unwanted melody. Light loved that voice, but Ryuzaki didn't talk a lot. Light also loved those lips from which the voice was coming out of. In Light's dreams those lips were always repeating Light's name with that low baritone right beside Light's ear… In those dreams he could almost feel the touch of the older man's slender fingers on his skin. He could almost feel the warmth of L's breath on his neck… Almost - but not really.
Light broke the silence before his mind could take him too far. "Could you now tell me why I didn't accept that rose?"
"Of course, Yagami-kun. I believe you did this, because I asked you to do so."
Light snorted. "But WHY did you ask me to do that?
"Because…" as L started Light finished his sentence in his mind. "Because you were jealous!"
Because I believe that Matsuda-san had just lost some money because of that. I guess I just wanted to punish him. I know that this kind of behavior may seem immature, but I have never tried to hide the fact that I am immature."
That made Light even mre curious. "Punish him for what?"
"For his yesterday's irresponsible behavior." L dropped some more candies into his bowl of ice-cream, still not looking uo at the younger man.
"But... what did he do?"
L thought for a moment about how to break the news to Light. "He was talking about you some things that were, as I presume, just his assumptions, and he tried to prove his point with ridiculous arguments."
By now Light was burning with curiosity. "And what was his point!?"
"Does it matter, Yagami-kun? He should not say anything about you to your co-workers if he is not sure that it is true. What irritated me todaywas the fact that he not only seems to not see his mistakes but he also makes new ones. He is obviously trying to play a game with me."
"L! Tell me, what Matsuda-san said about me yesterday?"
"He claimed that Yagami-kun is homosexual."
Light's face flushed bright red, not only from anger. "WHAT?!"
"He claimed that Yagami-kun is homosexual."
"I'll kill that bastard!"
"Light-kun…"
Light gasped hearing L using his first name.
"Yes, Ryuzaki?" His blush wasn't receding.
"Calm down."
Light tried but failed. "This idiot is telling people that I'M A GAY!"
"If he is an idiot than Yagami-kun doesn't have to worry. No one will believe it."
"So… You were mad just because he said that... Are you a homophobe or something?"
L finally looked up and his black eyes met Light's. "No, Yagami-kun. What makes you say that?"
"Well, I've never seen you so pissed off… So, I thought that maybe it's something you hate so much…"
"I have already told you, Yagami-kun, that it was not about what he said. I was angry, because he was talking abut you behind your back, about something that is a personal matter and should not concern him; and above all, he was doing it in the place of our work. It was unacceptable."
"What do you think of homosexuals then?"
L's eyes widened slightly. "Well… I do not know… I know only one homosexual couple. But they were able to create an amazing bond, and they seem to be very happy in their relationship. I believe that it is all that matters - to be happy together. If they are happy - it must be right."
Then a though hit Light like a ton of bricks: "What if Matsuda said that I am homo because he saw me putting on airs and graces in front of Ryuzaki… What if… he said that…"
"And… What exactly did Matsuda say about me? What kind of arguments did he give?"
L busied himself with a rearranging sweets on his ice-cream. "Let me think… Some pointless things about the way you sit or look at your fingernails. I believe that those matters are irrelevant for someone's sexual preferences."
Light smiled. "So… You didn't believe him?"
"Of course not! Why would I?"
"Then... what, in your opinion, would be a sufficient proof of someone being homosexual?"
L put the spoon into his mouth and hummed, thinking intently about his answer. "Honestly I think I would not be able to prove that from just looking at the person in his place of work. Matsuda obviously thinks he is. And he is wrong."
"You seem to be very sure about that."
"I am sure about that."
"What if I am homosexual?"
"It is irrelevant for that matter. There is always up to 30% chance that someone is homosexual - most statisctics on the subject is highly doubtful - but if you are indeed homosexual and Matsuda-san is right, it still does not mean that he is able to recognize it from just simple observation."
Light's smile grew wider. "Prove it."
"Sounds like a challenge." L's lips quirekd slightly in something that could be taken as his equivalent of a smile.
"Well, it is! I dare you."
L stayed silent. "What is it, Ryuuzaki?"
"I would rather not do such thing…. but if Light-kun insists… and truly wants me to do it... Then I will."
"I do want! I want to see that you are proving him that he's wrong! I want to see his confused face."
"If this will make Light-kun happy… then let us go." As they came back into the main room Matsuda immediately stopped talking and his face turned red.
"Matsuda-san, Ryuuzaki just told me for what you apologized to me earlier."
"Light-kun, I…"
L interrupted him impatiently. "Matsuda-san, please tell me, what is the percentage of Yagami-kun being a homosexual after he did not accept the flower from you?"
Light gasped. "So it was a test?"
L ignored Light and glared at the policeman. "Could you answer my question, Matsuda-san?"
"I… I don't know anything about the percentages… But you must admit that he looks and acts like he could be gay."
"Is it because he sits straight?"
Matsuda scratched his head. "Well… What's your point, Ryuzaki-san?"
"I believe that neither of us is capable of recognizing person's sexual orientation from just simple observation in his place of work."
"Well… But Light-kun is-…"
L's voice was raising with every word. "Are you trying to say that you can say something about Light's sexual preferences just from seeing him here in the headquarters?"
A drop of sweat fell from Matsuda's forehead. "…yes." He answered shyly.
"Then tell me, how did you figure that out."
The other man smiled at that. "It's obvious! He cares about his hair so much, he likes shopping, his tie is always perfectly matched and his belt is always in the same color as his shoes… He always crosses his legs when he sits and he checks his fingernails every ten minutes!"
Light turned red hearing this and started to regret that he even asked for this little show.
Matsuda continued: "He sticks out his pinky finger when he drinks his tea, and…"
L had enough though. "I am truly surprised, Matsuda-san. I guess you are unable to take your eyes off of Yagami-kun if you noticed all of those details."
Matsuda blushed. "What do you try to say?... That I'm looking at Light because I'm attracted to him?"
L shrugged. "I did not say anything like that, Matsuda-san. Why would you suggest that? Please, continue."
"Um... All right, it's not just about all those things! The most beautiful girls are in love with him, including top-model Misa Misa, and he doesn't care! He treats her like some burden! Like she was just… some kind of thing, that makes him look good! And, above all other things it's the way he looks at YOU when you're not looking…"
"SHUT UP!" Light felt like the Earth was just taken from under his feet.
Matsuda continued unperturbed by Light's outburst. "And he always stares at your lips when you speak!"
"Shut the hell up!" Light screamed and made an attempt to physically attack the other man but Ryuzaki grabbed his arm and stopped him.
"Easy, Yagami-kun. We are almost done here. Tell me now, Matsuda-san, does those ridiculous arguments make you 100% sure that Yagami Light is a homosexual?"
Matsuda took a moment t o think. "Well… It's like… maybe… 80%..."
L nodded. "So 80% is enough for you to state your judgement. What is the percentage of him being bisexual then?"
Matsuda's mouth hung open for another moment. "Well… I never thought about that… I don't know… He is almost for sure gay or bi!"
L nodded again. "So, you just split your 80% for two, so there is now only 40% chance that he is homosexual."
Matsuda frowned. "Then, I would say that there is 80% chance that he is at least bi!"
L hummed, pretending sarcasticly to be impressed. "And you realized that just from the way he holds a tea cup. Amazing! What about me then? With the way I sit or hold things in my hands, from the way I walk, talk and look at people. What is you percentage of me being homosexual?"
Matsuda laughed. "It's definitely zero percent."
Once again L nodded. "So, if someone would ask you about mine and Light-kun sexual orientation you would say…"
"That he is a gay and you are not." Matsuda seemed to be incredibly proud of himself.
L didn't nod this time. "I am a homosexual, Matsuda-san. Your methods are wrong, useless and unacceptable in this kind of work. It was just a trivial matter but if you ever try to use your deduction skills at work I will surely remove you from the team, because here we need to prove our point, before we start to think of it as a fact. As you see percentages are nothing against the truth, and your thinking has nothing to do with logic. That is all."
Light gasped. "Ryuuzaki…"
"I am sorry, Yagami-kun, but I have already wasted enough time today. I need to work on the case."
L went to his seat and started to work as if nothing happened.
Light sat on the sofa. He was shaking.
"I… can't believe it… I can't… It's impossible… I need to calm down. He heard what Matsuda said… about the way I look at him… Oh Gods, please… I can't stand that… He is there… And he said that…. OMG I think I'm about to throw up. My stomach feels weird… I'm burning… What should I do? What can I do?… I want to be closer to him, but if I sit there he will surely see that something's wrong… But somehow I don't care. I just want to go there, put my arms around his shoulders and put my face into his hair. I want to be closer… as close as possible… I need him so much. I need his voice… I feel sick. He's so close and yet so far… I'm pretty sure he wasn't serious about what he said. He couldn't be… Or maybe he could? He never lies. And he didn't want to do that. He did it just because I said I want to see it. He did it for me. 'If this will make Light-kun happy…' he said… And he said my name again… God, how I wish to be closer… I've never touched him… I remember one night, when he put his hand on my shoulder. I still feel this place burning."
After few hours of undisturbed work everybody said their 'goodnights' and left the headquarters. L didn't notice that Light stayed behind. Overwhelmed with his work he didn't see him coming closer, so when Light finally put his shivering hand on L's shoulder the detective almost jumped in his seat an looked at Light with scared eyes. Light's hand fell from Ryuzaki's shoulder.
"Yagami-kun… I thought that you left already…"
"I didn't."
"Yes, I figured that much now."
"I didn't mean to scare you…"
"Is something troubling you, Yagami-kun?"
"Why? Do I look troubled?"
"Yes, matter-of-factly, you do."
"How can you tell? You didn't even look at me."
"I can tell without looking at Light-kun because he stayed on the sofa almost whole day and did not spoke to me or anybody else. It is unlike Light-kun. I also noticed that his mood changed since the conversation I held with Matsuda-san this afternoon, so I presume, that the said conversation was a direct cause of his silence."
Light cleared his throat. "Well… I guess you're right… You're always right…"
The detective looked up at him with something akin to concern. "Is Light-kun dissatisfied with the way I made my point in that conversation?"
Light shrugged. "I… I don't know… May I ask you something?"
"Why of course, Light-kun, I'm listening."
"Have you ever lied?"
"I must say that I truly do not remember doing such thing, but it would be logical to assume-..."
"That's what I thought."
"Is everything all right, Yagami-kun?"
"Why did you stop calling me Light?"
The detective blushed slightly. "I do not know, Light-kun. Do you prefer to be called by your first name?"
"Yes… You call yourself my friend and you don't even call me by my name. It's irritating."
"I had no idea, Light-kun, I am truly sorry. I usually try to not do anything to annoy you."
Light winced at the 'ususally' part. "I know… "
Finally Watari appeared in the doorway. "Does young master needs anything before I go to rest?"
"No, Watari, thank you. You may go to sleep now." Watari noded his head.
"Oh… Watari! Did you buy what I asked for?"
The older man smiled fixing his glasses. "Of course. I left it on the kitchen table… four hours ago!"
"Oh… Thank you, Watari…. Good night."
After Watari walked out of the room L stood from his seat.
"Light-kun… There is something for you on kitchen table. Would you care to take a look?"
"For me? Wow… Sure I would… Will you come with me?"
"Only if Light-kun wants me to…"
Light pulled his hand. "Come on!"
Light went straight to the kitchen and Ryuzaki walked slowly few steps behind the boy.
"Geez, Ryuzaki! Are these flowers for me?"
L hid his hands in his pockets. "Yes, Light-kun, they are. I asked Watari to buy those roses to compensate for the one you did not accept because of me."
Light was looking at him in disbelief. "This…. Whole bunch of roses is to compensate for that one little flower?"
"I noticed that Light-kun liked that one. I felt bad about the fact that I asked him to reject it."
Ryuzaki stood in the doorway, hands still hidden in the pockets of his old pale-blue jeans. With his left arm leaning against the doorframe he was looking at Light with a sad look in his huge black eyes.
"Ryuzaki… I don't know what to say…"
"There is no need to say anything. Does Light-kun feel uneasy because of my earlier confession?"
"Uneasy? No, I wouldn't call it that way… These roses are so beautiful, Ryuzaki… Thank you."
"I am truly happy to hear that Light-kun likes them."
"You don't look like you're happy."
"Oh… But I am Light-kun, I assure you. Is Light-kun's mood better now?"
"Yes… Yes, it is…"
"Was Light-kun concerned about those absurd things that Matsuda-san said about him? Or maybe about those things that Matsuda-san said about Light-kun's attitude towards me? Or maybe Light-kun is upset about me being attracted to another man…?"
Sudden irritation became clearly noticeable in Light's voice when he said: "Another man? What man?"
"What difference does it make?"
"You never told me! And you said you are my friend!"
"Light-kun never asked."
"Because I had no idea that you can be attracted to anyone! You always think and talk only about your work or cakes and candies! How could I know that you are hiding from me something like getting' hot on guys!"
L raised a finger. "I believe I have been talking only about ONE person. And I never went THAT far with my affection to that person."
"And you already claim to be homosexual?"
"This is the very first (and probably the only) time that I feel something toward another person. And this person happens to be a man. Until now I've never felt anything towards any other male nor a female, so it makes 100% objects of my feelings being male. Hence I am homosexual."
"Why you are not with him?"
L looked down, at the floor. "For many reasons…"
But Light pressed on. "Such as?"
"First of all my feelings are one-sided..."
"Then he must be a real moron!"
"Do not say such things, Light-kun. You do not know who the said person is so…"
It only made Light speak louder. "He is stupid, narrow-minded…"
"Light-kun, please…!"
"How can you take his side while he makes you unhappy?"
"He does not. And he is not stupid. He is a very smart and handsome young man. He is nice, good looking and popular. I am truly happy to just see his smile once in a while and that is all I need. I am happy when he is happy. I want to know that he is safe, that he has good friends (who are NOT talking about him behind his back) and a beautiful girlfriend that loves him more than anyhting in world."
Light looked at Ryuzaki with tears in his eyes and he just couldn't believe what he heard.
"What if he does love you back?"
"Then he still is my primal suspect in Kira case, a son of a man with who I am working with and I still would not let myself to affect his happy life and high social status for my advantage."
"Then you will never see him happy." L looked up and as their eyes met he saw tears shining in Light's.
"Light-kun, please, do not make things more difficult then they already are."
"I love you, Ryuzaki…"
"I love you too, Light."
"You can't do that! You can't say something like that and then push me away!"
"What else can I do?"
Light wiped the tears that finally fell and stepped closer to his friend.
"Do not cry, Light-kun. I can not stand to see you sad.
Light was standing really close when he looked at Ryuzaki's lips. Slowly he put his hands on L's shoulders and moved his face even closer to the detective's. L didn't move so Light gently kissed his lips few times. When he didn't receive any response from Ryuzaki he wrapped his arms around L's neck.
TBC
