Circles


Disclaimer - I do not own Kingdom Hearts.
I forget exactly when it started.

I'm sitting on a beach now. Too lost in thought to even notice my own surroundings. But they're there, I know. The wind brings me back to reality, and I pay closer attention. The wind is warm, steady and constant, just strong enough to keep the palm trees swaying, but even the sound of the trees moving is faint, drowned out by the tumbling of the ocean waves. That's where my gaze lingers now. I see wave roll over wave, leaving white foam in its wake, coming closer, ever closer, until, finally, it's here.

That one wave I've been looking at, washed up on the beach of Destiny Islands, covering my bare feet and lingering there. Then it pulls back, retreating to the ocean even more quickly then it had come.

I look to the ocean once again, to the horizon. The sun is setting. I'm hardly paying attention at first, but the image becomes something worth seeing. It's beautiful, undeniably beautiful. Orange meets with red, and the last brilliant rays of yellow are slowly disappearing, leaving an explosion of other colors in its wake. A part of me acknowledges that this is georgeous, unique, not just a typical Destiny Island sunset. I blink away the hypnotic sight. Suddenly, this view of the ocean is no longer good enough. The feel of the water is no longer good enough. I stand up.

There was a time when the sound of the ocean, the feel of the wind, and the water lapping at my feet was all the adventure I needed.

But not any more.

I walk along the beach for a long time. When I get to the bridge I stop. I have two choices now, cross the bridge or continue around the beach, in a circle. My feet are slapping against the wood before I'm even aware I made my choice. I'm angry, and that surprises me. I have no good reason to be mad, logic tells me, but I am mad, all the same.

A sharp pain in my foot stops me. I lift it up immediately and balance on one leg until I fall backwards and land on my rump, just barely missing a tumble into the ocean. I pull the cause of my trouble up close and discover a large splinter wedged wickedly under my skin. Now I have a reason to be angry.

I feel the smile creep onto my face and don't fight it. It turns into a laugh, a laugh I'm not able to stop. An image of Kairi fills my mind. My little, annoying, patronizing friend. She became a whole lot more tolerable when I turned twelve. I remember her saying, "If you glower all the time for no reason, Riku, then He'll give you something to glower about!" and subsequently smacking me upside the head. Sora, not to be outdone, copied her with a smack of his own. I had him screaming "Uncle" in five seconds.

I pick at the splinter in my foot, shaking my head and smiling. How ironic. Now I have a reason to be mad, a reason, Kairi assured me, was given by "Him." Only one problem, now that I have the excuse, all the anger's gone.

The splinter finally comes free, and I casually fling it over the edge of the bridge. I catch sight of my foot prints in the sand, stretching on as far as I can see in the fast fading light. My good mood fades as quickly as it had come. I think of the circle that I could have chosen to walk, and I feel suffocated.

And angry. I'm angry again.

The throbbing in my foot is hardly the reason.

I give the footprints an accusing glare, "You're carrying me now, are You?" I say, spitefully. I scoff and look away. Who am I talking to? I don't believe what Kairi believes.

Ignoring the pain in my foot, I make my way to my usual spot and swing myself onto the tree with ease, having done it thousands of times before. The same way I've done everything else there is to do here thousands of times before. The night grows darker, and once again I'm staring out at the ocean. Looking at it, but not seeing it. I'm looking beyond it. What other islands could be out there? What adventures? I know what awaits me where I am. Circles.

"I can't stay here," I say into the night. The breeze turns cold, causing goosebumps to form along my arms and legs. I don't bother to brush my hair away when the wind blows it across my face. The darkness, the cold, it is different for Destiny Islands. Anything different. Anything.

I still can't remember when it started, or why. Sora would never suffer from it. Neither would Kairi.

God damn my discontent.


Author's Note - I hope you liked it. I was trying to keep him as in character as possible. I love to be reviewed!