Chapter 1
Greatest mistake
"I love you", that's what she had said after, after we had proven yet again our love for each other. I had proven my love by overriding my natural needs to taste her blood, for the need to protect, and be with her. Isabella had proven her love to me by allowing me to be so close, and intimate with her. I could never understand why she was with me. I was a monster, the creature of the night, I was that thing, and it was I. But yet she had been able to over look that detail, to see into my soul, to see the human that used to be and longs to be again. But that was before, before I had loved too much, had wanted to protect her mind, body, and most of all her soul so much so that I made the biggest mistake of my very long life.
It was sunny in forks, one of the rare days that I had to stay home from school, it was as if god had agreed, as if he were telling me "yes, it is time to give the world back one of my most precious angles". It was time to stop hurting her. It had taken me along time to figure out how? But last night in another sleepless night, "one of the millions". I came up with this horrible, ugly, and cruel idea. I put my plan into action right away. I had to stop hurting her. Bella would be here in a few short hours, and I had lots to do. First I had to talk to Rosalie and Emment, and then I had to talk to chariles.
As I lay on my couch with Rosalie wrap in my arms. I remembered the look on my angles face when she had been told that Rosalie had been changed so that she could be my eternal mate. I remembered the look of jealously, and fear. Fear that that I would look on her and not think she was the most beautiful creature to ever walk the earth, as if that day would ever come. Then I heard it, the noise I had been dreading, as I was thinking these thoughts of the past. I smelled her in that next instant. She was here my angle; my love was looking for me. I hesitated then how, why did I have to do this. But then I remembered my reasons, my angle had to shine for the entire world to see, she had to live a life without fear, or danger. Impart she had to live a life, a better life without me. Rosalie must have felt my tension, because she looked me in the eye and asked, "Are you sure Edward? You don't have to do…" I stopped her there and told her it was the only way. Rosalie didn't look convinced but she shut up anyway. What did she care! It hurt so bad, my heart was breaking just thinking about it. How could I live one second, one moment, one thought without her?
T thought that she would hate me, it would have been better if she had. But when she walked in and saw Rosalie in my arms, she simply looked confused. Her love for me was so blinding it would not allow her to process what was going on. She just stood there in shock. Which is when Rosalie lens over and kissed me. I felt my world chrase, like to great planets colliding. This was not supposed to have happened. I was not actually supposed to prove her thoughts correct, she was just supposed to jump to conclusions like any other human would have. Yes, she would have come over later to make sure. But we were already to be gone. Clean and simple; just to help her move on faster. But once again I underestimated bellas love for me. I wanted her to move on, live her life, but not hate me, but once Rose kissed me, I knew. I knew she would not be able to handle seeing my adultery in action. She would simply block me out; she would act like I hadn't existed. She would forget me. And because of that thought I was dying. I saw it in her eyes she was already shutting down. She turned and ran out of my bedroom, out of my house, and out of my life forever. I just couldn't let her. I jumped up and ran down the hall after her, just in time to catch her tumbling down the last three stairs. I shot past her; I was at her truck in an instant. Holding the door shut so she couldn't get in. Bella arrived a few moments later, "crying". I had never realized before how much those tiny drops of water, could break me down. But only when they came from her. That's when my family arrived outside looking worried. I could hear Alice, tugging at the corners of my mind, trying to speak to me, but I was to focused on Bella. Finally after a hard pull I turned my attention to Alice, but keep my body turned toward Bella. As soon as Alice sensed that she had my attention she, asked me in a very calm quiet voice what I was doing. T turned my body this time, though still holding the door to look at my sister like she had a third eye. What did she mean "what am I doing", what was she doing couldn't she see that Bella was upset, I had to make it better, I had to protect her. That's when it hit me; I was already in the process of protecting her, that's why she was crying. I slowly let go of the truck door and back away from Bella to stand with my family. I new deep down in my unbeaten heart that this would be the last time I saw Bella swan in the flesh, from here on out it would just be my sweet, sweet memories to reminded me of my one true love. As I stood in my driveway watching her drive down my road and away from my house for the last time ever I felt something collapses in side of me, I stood there for the rest of the day while my family finished packing, trying to find out exactly what I had just felt die, when I realized that even though my dead heart hadn't beaten in seven long decades, in my few short loving months with Bella it had began to pump me full of life again, but it wasn't exactly like my heart had just started up again no, it was Bella and the way she blushed scarlet, or the way that I felt the undying need to know all of her thoughts and secretes, or maybe it had been the way she seemed to always be looking at the man I was supposed to be instead of the monster that I was that made my heart jump for joy every time I even thought about her. But I did know without a doubt that my heart would never beat again because, of the pain that I had caused Bella in trying to make her happy.
