Jimmy and Cindy are enjoying a quiet afternoon in... in... You insert your own location, I'm too lazy. Anyways, the reason why the boy genius called her down was not anything for the faint of heart, but to deliver some very sad news. ("Faint of heart", am I just using random expressions I don't even know?)
"Cindy, I'm breaking up with you."
"But... Why? Was it something I did?"
"A lot, cuz you're mean. And we're always trying to destroy each other. We're very unhealthy together."
"I'll change! I promise, just for you!"
"Cindy, you've said that like..."
Then Jimmy took out a calculator, cuz he's a nerd.
"...65 times! And that's only on Earth."
"But this time I really, really mean it! I'll chang-"
"GOTTA BLAST!"
Jimmy took off in his jetpack, to whoever knows where. (I don't care where's he's flying to, and I'm too lazy to write it out) Jimmy left poor Cindy with a broken heart.
...
Cindy's not gonna live this in vain! Suddenly, hope still shines in her way. There, in the Candy Bar, she met with the fabulous Nick (Not the company the show's licenced by, but the character Nick Dean), the boy almost every girl wants but he never seemed pleased with them. Perhaps there's only one important person he's still looking for. She didn't hesitate to make a move towards the sexy twelve year-old.
"Hi!"
"Hey, Cindy."
"Wanna go out with me? I'll pay for everything!"
"No."
"WHY DON'T YOU EVER LOVE ME?!"
"I keep telling you for..."
Then Nick took out his calculator, even though he's not a nerd.
"...100 times, I'M GAY! And even if I were straight, I wouldn't touch you with a 10 ft pole!"
...
Cindy went to see Jimmy to show off her new boyfriend, the one she wants him to know who she'll live happily ever after with.
"Jimmy, you remember Nick, don't ya? He was kind enough to show sympathy for the feelings you disregarded, so now, he's my boyfriend!"
"*Nick is on a leash* No I'm not! Call the police! No, fuck the police. Call the Avengers! Help me!"
Jimmy was quite appalled of what he saw! Cindy and Nick? TOGETHER?! Y'all, das messed up.
"Iiiiiiiii think I'm gonna leave you two alone. *Slides motionless to anywhere*"
"Where u going?! Aren't you jealous? I'm with the most handsomest boy in school! COME BACK HERE!"
...
Later that day, Nick and Cindy's relationship took a turn for the worse. Nick hasn't been treating Cindy like how a proper girlfriend should be treated.
"Jimmy, come quick! Nick is being mean to me! He's saying mean things, LISTEN! *Yanks on Nick's leash* Say something mean to me."
"YOU'RE CRAZY!"
"Did you hear that? Oh, this emotional abuse!"
Jimmy responded,
"Cindy, I'm trying to study this science book about science."
Is there no hero to sweep Cindy off her feet?
"Maybe Jimmy will believe me if Nick hits me, just to make it more convincing. Nick, hit me."
"No."
"I said hit me! I order you!"
"As much as I want to, my arms are too sore from trying to undo this collar all day."
...
Unfortunately, Cindy and Nick's relationship didn't last long. She only had her heart for one person, and that's the boy with the deformed head and soft serve ice cream hair. After their breakup, a visitor paid a visit to Cindy's house.
"Neu- I mean, Jimmy?"
It was Jimmy, here to apologize and make amends.
But
He wasn't alone.
"Why is Nick with you? AND WHY ARE YOU HOLDING HIS HAND?!"
"I've came to tell you that we're boyfriends now!"
"WHAT? You'd date a guy who keeps breaking his leg and only appears for five minutes in each episode over me?!"
"He's not mean. Not like you."
And then our romantic story ends with a kiss. ...and a date.
"C'mon Nick, let's go out for pizza!"
"YEAAAAAH, AGGRESSIVE PIZZA!"
...
BONUS SCENE!
"Hi Jimmy! Hi Nick!"
"Hi Bolbi! Is there something you want to say to us?
"Yes! Yes, Bolbi do! I have to go now, my planet needs me."
Bolbi slapped and clapped his way off of Earth, but sadly, died on his way home. :(
Okay, in conclusion, I wrote this parody fic express my hatred for bad JimmyxCindy fics. I don't ship them, but if you do, I'm okay with that. However, JimmyxCindy fanfics are all full of cliches that really gets my blood boiling, such as every character being OOC, rushed and forced relationships, but the worst cliche to top all of these are the ones where Nick Dean is demonized
Why? What has Nick ever done to y'all? He doesn't even like Cindy. He hardly even acknowledges her. So over a one-sided crush, you feel Nick should be punished? "CINDY SHOOD LOVE NO ONE BUT JIMMY!" I'm sorry, but why would Nick wanna "steal Jimmy's girlfriend" if he's never shown any hints that he may be interested in her? All he did was pick up her pencil, and rest of the time, he just ignores her. Yeah, he totally wants her. Noice. :/ If you actually remember watching the show, he knows better if it isn't his business, he shouldn't be involved. Nick is Jimmy's friend. Why should he be positioned as his enemy?
Stop butchering innocent characters just to build up plot, or because "THEY ARE GETTING IN THE WAY OF MY OTP!" Want an antagonist for your JimmyxCindy fics? Use a REAL antagonist, like Eustace, or an OC! Don't take your uncanon-ship angst on Nick.
