Well, I was bored one day, and this is what came out of it. So...yeah. (be sure to read the A/N at the end)
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from The Phantom of the Opera, or the song A Whole New World.
Raoul de Chagny had never been in such a lowly state before. Here he was, sopping wet, tied to a rusty portcullis by a disfigured madman. He strained against the noose that was tied around his throat, but this had no affect whatsoever, other than making it increasingly harder to breathe.
The Phantom yanked on the rope. Christine started towards him, singing about "pitiful creatures of darkness" and "God giving her courage to show him", or something (Raoul was having trouble concentrating, due to lack of air).
Then, she kissed him. Christine was practically snogging the Phantom, and he was kissing her back!
Raoul gaped at the horrifying scene unfolding before him, feeling totally helpless. How dare that maniac mack on his girl! Raoul thought furiously (he did this quite a bit, thinking to himself in the third person). And then, Holy crap-ola, this is almost worse than that Point of No Return musical number!
At that moment, Raoul got an idea. Not just a regular, ordinary idea; this one came like being hit over the head with an onion (a really HARD onion), or getting struck in the aft end by a radioactive gamma bolt. There was no doubt that this was an absolutely brilliant idea.
Raoul watched and waited for a break in their liplock. It came, finally, about two and a half minutes of incessant making out. Raoul watched them slowly pull away from each other, and then he burst into song:
I can show you the world
Shining, shimmering, splendid
Tell me, princess, now when did
You last let your heart decide?
The Phantom dropped the rope and clapped his hands over his ears, screaming in agony. He fell to his knees, face twisted in pain.
Encouraged, Raoul continued:
A whole new world
A new fantastic point of view
No one to tell us no, or where to go
Or say we're only dreaming
Unable to bear it anymore, the Phantom jumped to his feet and bolted out of the main chamber of the lair, shouting as he went, "Go, go and leave me! Tell no one what you've seen! Take the gondola, I don't care, just GO!"
Christine hurried to Raoul and untied the thick ropes that bound him. Raoul grinned cheerfully, looped his arm around her waist, and started walking towards the gondola. "That was sure exciting," he said. He turned to Christine. "Let's go out for dinner tonight. I'm famished…"
A/N: This in no way represents my opinion on the song A Whole New World (I'm actually quite fond of it). Or Erik, for that matter. Yup, no offense to anyone, but I still strongly dislike Raoul. Erik rules. And don't you forget it. =)
