AN: Hello everyone. This will be my first attempt at a Eureka fic. I only recently became a fan, and after falling in love, searched desperately for some fanfic. Now, I've never been into any ships, so that rules out most of the fics out there. Then, I'm a whumper (if you don't know what that means, you may be better off) and there are even fewer amounts of those. So what do you do in situations like those? Do it yourself.
Now, I'll admit I'm mostly an SGA writer (people who are waiting on an update to In Between, it will be out later tonight or tomorrow), but after watching Games People Play, I simply had to write a tag. And I did so rather quickly. So, here you go.
Warning: Not beta'd so all the mistakes are my own. And as I said, I'm a very new fan so forgive me if a few things from the show aren't right. Let me know and then I'll be that much wiser.
Spoilers: Season 2'sGames People Play
Disclaimer: None of it's mine. Just borrowed them for a little bit.
Okay, well I hope you guys enjoy :)
Weakness
Zoe Carter simply could not suppress her smile and had decided to stop trying. And why would she? This night could not have ended better. True, it would have been nice if it hadn't happened at all, but given the fact that it had, she couldn't think of a better way for this horrifying day to end.
Just hours ago, she had been at her dad's bedside, tears streaming down her face as she was told he was "not doing well." And Zoe knew what that meant; he had been dying. His body wouldn't have lasted much longer in the state that A.T.S. device was keeping it in and she knew that, even if she had refused to admit it to herself.
But it didn't matter now. Here she was in Café Diem, sitting across from the sheriff himself.
"Why aren't you eating?" she asked, looking down at his practically untouched burger and fries.
He shrugged in response and waved it off. "Eh, not really hungry. You enjoying your pizza?"
"Yeah, it's good," Zoe replied, frowning at her dad's growing lethargy. He was still smiling and relatively happy from what she could tell, but he seemed tired now. Weary, even.
"You feeling okay?" she asked as nonchalantly as she could manage but knew she still let her worry show.
He smiled in the way he always did when he was trying to comfort her. "I'm fine, Zoe. Just a little tired I guess."
"Well, let's go then."
"You haven't finished…"
"Don't want to. I'm full," she lied, although her worry was kind of taking away her appetite. The truth was, he didn't really look that bad, but after seeing her dad in the shape he was in earlier, she couldn't help but be on edge.
God, he had looked so bad. So pale and so still. Well, at least when he wasn't trembling uncontrollably or practically convulsing. Zoe shuddered at the memory of seeing her dad like that and not knowing what to do. When she had found him in her room, her heart had jumped inside her throat. She remembered panicking and somehow managing to get to his side before calling Jo. It had been terrifying to say the least.
"You sure? You didn't eat much," her dad said, eyeing her suspiciously.
"Yeah, so? Maybe I'm not that hungry either," she replied, then added with a small grin, "You know, you're not the only one who had a big day today."
He winced. "Yeah, I guess not."
Thankfully, Vincent gave her a to-go box with a few helpings of her favorite foods and Zoe had to stand by and wait for him finish hugging her dad. She smiled as she watched and knew that Vincent, along with half the town, had been standing vigil in the waiting room at the infirmary, eager to hear word on their beloved sheriff. As she looked around the small café, she could see others looking fondly towards her dad and was again reminded of how she and her dad had gained one hell of a family in Eureka.
"You look a bit pale, Sheriff. You feeling alright?" Vincent asked. Zoe shifted uncomfortably at the fact that someone else had noticed that her dad didn't look so hot.
The sheriff chuckled, though it sounded slightly forced. "Yes, yes, I'm fine. Really," he told Vincent, but said it loud enough for the onlookers to hear as well. "Thank you all for your support today. I really appreciate it."
Zoe smiled again and knew that he meant it, but also knew he was a bit embarrassed. It was just the way Jack Carter worked; he was a US Marshall, tough guy that got hurt all the time. But whenever it was bad, as it had been only a few times before, he always became uncomfortable because he couldn't just get up and shrug it off. In the times when things got bad, like today had, he was just as human as everyone else, and Zoe knew that he felt like he had to stay strong for others. Whenever he showed weakness, he felt like he was letting everyone else down. Zoe hated that about him. He had every right to get hurt and recover just like any other person.
"Anything for our Sheriff," Vincent said with another affectionate hug before turning to Zoe. "And you know we're always here for you, too. Like I told your mom, you're our girl."
"Thanks," Zoe chocked out as she was enveloped in a bear hug herself.
"Alright. Well I packed some soup in there so, you know, if you need some of my medicine food, it'll be right there," he told her dad. "Now, you both go home and get some rest."
The tired sheriff smiled and waved to everyone in the diner. "Thanks again everyone. Goodnight."
And with that, they were off. The drive home seemed to take forever, even though it was only a few miles away. Zoe couldn't help but notice the fact that her dad kept getting quieter and was apparently losing his focus as he swerved ever so slightly, but still more than usual.
"Dad… are you sure you're okay?"
He didn't answer right away, just kept his eyes on the road. "Yeah," he said finally. "I'm a little tired and kind of achy," he answered, though he didn't seem too fazed by what he was saying. "I think I just need a good night's rest. What about you? How are you feeling?"
Zoe frowned at his attempt to change the subject. "I'm fine, Dad. Achy?"
He sighed, knowing he wasn't going to win this battle. "Just a little. I do have a concussion, Zoe; a headache kind of comes with it."
That was true. On top of everything else, he had been suffering from a concussion. A very mild one, but it had been enough to get him stuck in that A.T.S. device.
"Well, we're almost home and then you can go to bed." She paused as a thought occurred to her. "You can go to sleep, right?" she asked quickly, remembering something about how people with concussions were not supposed to go to sleep.
He chuckled again and side-glanced at her. "Yes, Zoe. This is not the first time I've had a concussion. Usually, it's companied with broken ribs or something along those lines. I can sleep…"
Zoe quieted and was once again plagued with memories of the day.
"I know, it's just… I don't want to walk in and find you, you know, like… that again," she said quietly, surprised at herself for brining this rather uncomfortable subject up. "It was really scary."
They were now parked outside their house, the car off, sitting in silence.
"Zoe…," he said quietly, sounding guilty, which in turn made her feel terrible. "Look, I'm so sorry you had to see that. If I'd known…"
"No, no," Zoe interrupted, feeling bad for putting him in that situation. "It wasn't your fault." If anything, it was mine, she added to herself. "Just… don't ever do that again. Okay?" she said, forcing a small smile to cover her face.
"Don't try on my daughter's therapy devices, check," he said, trying to lighten the mood. "Now, what do you say we go in there and curl up and go to sleep?"
"That sounds wonderful," Zoe said truthfully. It had been a long day. For both of them, but in slightly different ways.
They got out of the car and headed into the house.
"Sheriff Carter, it is good to see you back again," S.A.R.A.H. greeted. "Your vitals appear slightly askew, are you feeling…"
"I'm fine," he interrupted, sounding annoyed. He slowly put the leftover food in the fridge and Zoe watched every minute. He was certainly not acting like he usually did. His movements were always strong, even if he did have a very laid-back atmosphere to him. Now, he was sluggish.
"So, you're going straight to bed, right?" asked Zoe, again trying to sound nonchalant, but she couldn't hide much from Jack Carter.
"Yes… straight to bed. If you don't stop worrying so much, you're going to get sick," he said playfully, though she detected an underlying seriousness to his statement. She pretended to take offence to this statement.
"Well, excuse me for being a little worried after being told you were dying just hours ago…"
He stopped drinking from his cup of water and frowned. "Dying? They said I was dying?"
Zoe bit her lips and realized that may not have been the right thing to say. "Well, not exactly. They pulled the whole, 'He's not doing well…,' thing and had those looks…," she said as another shiver ran down her spine. "I don't know, it was just kind of weird."
"Well, their looks were wrong, huh?" he said, trying to joke. Once again, Zoe saw his discomfort with the idea of being weak. She wanted to assure him that weakness had nothing to do with it, but she didn't quite know what to say.
"Yeah," she replied with a half-true smile. "You should be getting to bed."
He took another sip of water and nodded. "I think you're right."
They stared at each other for a moment or two, and Zoe knew they were both contemplating just how close they had come to losing each other. Literally, he could have died, and Zoe would have been taken away to her mom's house. And as she thought about how close they had come, she found herself in her dad's arms.
"I love you, Dad," she said quietly and hated the way the words felt foreign to her. She really didn't tell him that enough.
"I love you too, Zoe," he replied, still holding her close. She loved how safe she felt in his arms and was reminded of when she was a young girl.
They parted from each other and Zoe took a deep breath. "Goodnight."
"'Night, Zo. See you in the morning."
Zoe turned around and headed towards her room thinking, Thank God you will.
--
She was back in the infirmary, standing over her dad's lifeless body, hoping and praying that he would wake up. She was vaguely aware that her mom was behind her, telling her it was time to go back to L.A., but Zoe refused. She wasn't going to leave him. She couldn't.
Allison was there and so was Nathan Stark, both doing all they could to help the fallen sheriff, and a part of Zoe knew they were blaming her for what happened. And as well they should. He wouldn't have put on the A.T.S. device if she hadn't yelled at him and made him think he had a problem the device could fix. This was her fault, and she knew it.
She watched as her dad suddenly jolted up, though definitely not awake, and began to shake. His face was turning red and Zoe could hear his heart monitor making sounds it shouldn't be. And then he started to grunt and moan in pain, thrashing and fighting something none of them could see.
He was dying, and there was nothing any of them could do.
She began to cry and call for her dad, anything that could possibly help but he just kept trembling and convulsing.
"Please," she heard herself beg. "Please, Dad…"
"Zoe," she heard someone say, but she wasn't listening. Not when her dad was dying right in front of her eyes.
He wouldn't stop, wouldn't wake up, wouldn't do anything.
"Dad, please don't leave me…," she sobbed, watching the medical personnel try to bring him back by injecting him with different things, but nothing helped.
"Zoe, wake up!"
And then everything around her stopped as her dad stopped his thrashing and moaning. At first, she was relieved that his fit was over, but as the wailing of the heart monitor filled her ears, telling her his heart was no longer working, she screamed louder than she could ever remember screaming.
--
Zoe bolted upright, shaking like a leaf and crying her eyes out. She didn't quite know where she was, but couldn't shake the memory of losing her dad. She couldn't separate fiction from reality, and had no idea how much of what she had just experienced was true.
And as she fought back the tears and tried to forget the sound of the wailing heart monitor, she discovered that she was not alone. In fact, there was someone holding her tightly in their arms. And she knew right away who it was.
"Shh, Zoe. It's okay now. It was just a dream," her dad cooed softly, one of his hands doing comforting circles on her back, the other holding the back of her head. She felt like a small child being comforted by her daddy, and essentially, that's exactly what was happening.
She wanted to speak, but her sobs kept her choking. She couldn't remember a time when she had cried this hard. The tears were coming down in sheets and she could barely get in a good breath.
"It's okay, it's okay," he continued, his tight hold of her never weakening. "Calm down, Zo. It's over."
And slowly, her sobs began to diminish and her breathing evened out until she was simply lying limply against her dad. She felt exhausted in every way, and knew that if he wasn't holding her so tight, she would have fell down against her pillows.
It was just a dream. A very bad dream, but a dream nonetheless. Her dad was not dead and she was not being forced to go back to L.A..
"You okay now?" he asked softly, still rubbing her back.
Zoe tried to say 'yes' but it came out as more of a sputter, so she just nodded in response. Slowly, she felt his tight grip on her lessen until she was lying against her pillows once more.
That's when she noticed that it was still nighttime and that at some point, her dad had turned on her lamp. In the dim light, she could tell that he was tired, but was too concerned to really be feeling it. He also looked a little pale still, but that could have been the light playing tricks on her eyes.
"You wanna talk about it?" he asked cautiously, not wanting to pry, but obviously wanting to help her. And a part of her did want to talk about it, if only for the reason that it would keep her awake long enough to hopefully move away from the dream. She always hated when she woke up from bad dreams, only to fall back asleep and continue the nightmare.
But on the other hand, she didn't want to relive what she had seen, especially since she would be talking to the person the nightmare was about.
So, in response, she shrugged and looked away.
"Look, Zoe, I know today was… scary, and I'm really sorry you had to go through that," he said slowly, as if testing the water, "but it's really over now. I'm fine, I really am, and you're staying right here with me."
Zoe sniffed and fought against the tears that threatened to make a reappearance. "I-I know. I'm sorry."
"You have nothing to be sorry for, Zo," he said. "I just hate seeing you so upset."
Zoe nodded and they fell quiet, but to her relief, he didn't leave.
"What did you see in there?" Zoe asked suddenly. It hadn't occurred to her before that the A.T.S. device made people admit to their problems and face their fears in some way or another, and therefore, her dad had been dealing with his own issues. And whatever issues he had must have been pretty serious.
He frowned as he thought about her question. "In where? The device?"
Zoe nodded.
"Oh, well, it was Eureka. It even had that crack in the sidewalk from where Ned dropped his…"
"No, I know it was Eureka, but…," she said, trying to reword her question. "The device pinpoints the problem you have and makes you work through it. Like, my problem was with leaving Eureka, so what was yours?"
Zoe saw him bite his lips, then he smiled. "Same as yours."
This made her frown. "Huh? You mean, you leaving Eureka?"
He chuckled. "No, you leaving Eureka. When I said I never wanted you to leave, I meant it. I've just been…, I've just been trying to convince myself that it was for the best that you were with your mom some too, but… I don't know. I guess I figured out what was best for me, too."
"And what was that?"
"Well, I've kind of found myself needing to be around a certain delinquent who, no matter how hard I try, I never seem to be able to appease."
Zoe laughed. A real laugh, and loved every second of it. "Dad, I'm a teenager, there's no appeasing me so don't get yourself all discouraged."
He laughed at this too and nodded. "Good, 'cause it was starting to get to me for a little while," he said, but his smile soon faded and was replaced with a serious look. "Seriously, Zoe, I know I'm not the world's greatest dad, but I'm working on it. And yeah, I'm gonna get it wrong here and there, but I don't think I could live with myself knowing that I'm not as good as I can be. I feel that I'm getting better as long as I can learn from you, and if you were to be taken away… well, I would be incomplete, I guess you could say," his said as his smile returned. "I'm just glad you're willing to put up with my attempts."
A grin spread across her face. "You are getting better. And actually, if you really want to prove just how much you've improved, a friend of mine mentioned that he wanted to take me to a movie…"
"Goodnight, Zoe," he said, standing up and folding his arms across his chest. He smiled and shook his head as he headed for the lamp on her table.
"Goodnight, Dad," she said in mock annoyance as the light from the lamp was switched off and left the room dark.
"Come and get me if you need me," he said, nearing her bedroom door.
"Okay."
Zoe laid back against her pillows and to her surprised, found herself relaxed and ready to give sleep one more try. She kept going over her dad's words. She had been so convinced that he didn't have much of a problem with her leaving, but in actuality, the thought had almost killed him. That didn't make her feel good, per se, but it made her feel wanted. Her dad needed her as much as she needed him.
As her eyes slid closed, the memories of her dream and of the day her dreams were based on slid from her mind. Today had sucked, no question there, but in the end, she had gotten closer to her dad and was no longer being threatened to leave her home.
She thought about this new feeling she had towards her dad that made it seem impossible that she would ever fight with him again, but even she knew that was a funny idea.
It may take a few days, but in time, her life in Eureka would be back to normal. And that was the way she liked it.
The End...
