"Was it weird being trapped in The Crocodile's mind?" Killian joked, his arm subconsciously wrapping around Emma's shoulders. "All dark and evil, I'd imagine."
Emma tilted her head sideways to meet Killian's curious gaze. "No. It was...sad."
Emma had mixed feelings about Gold. If her and Neal had ever married, he would be her father-in-law, which she didn't feel to keen about. From what Bae had explained, Gold had practically ruined his life. Then again, she didn't know the full story.
But despite all of that, Emma had never been too fond of Gold, anyway. His deals, although he always kept to them, seemed unfair, even when they were. He was a tricky person to deal with, and she never remembered a single moment where she had actually enjoyed his presence. And really, Gold just seemed like a mean person in general. He rarely smiled out of kindness, if he ever smiled at all. When he did smile, it was usually a smug smile after winning some kind of argument with Regina, or making a deal that benefited him more than the other person without them knowing. In hindsight, her original idea of his life consisted with rich parents, wealthy privilege, and a problem-free life that she may or may not have been a little jealous of. To say Emma felt uncomfortable with him was an understatement.
However, now digging deeper than anyone had ever gone - had ever bothered - she'd realized the little facade he put on was a defense mechanism. Something to keep everyone locked out, keeping everyone afraid of him in order to obtain power over them - or really, himself. No one liked to be vulnerable, but this man seemed to take it to the next level.
"Sad?" Killian sat up, moving to rest a delicate hand on his new wife's knee.
"Something like that," Emma didn't really know how to put what she felt into words, or how to describe her new look on The Dark One. And as she pressed herself to find the words, an odd pain in her chest grew and grew. She couldn't feel...guilty, could she? Because, what would she feel guilty for?
She let that sink in, her mind wandering as her lover's face studied her in concern.
For one, she'd seemed to misjudge the man too quickly, and had let everyone else do the same without a second thought - without a thought at all. Everyone knew the story of The Dark One, but no one seemed to know the story of Rumplestiltskin. And no one seemed to bother to. And she realized, she should have. Her parents interpretation of the man shouldn't affect the way she saw him, and for God's sakes, she was a bail bondsperson; she should know how to dig, but she never did. She let his reputation blind her from figuring out who this man really was. And Emma would like to say she was good at reading people, but she really must not be, because she completely misread this man. She was farther from the truth than she'd like to admit, and it was eating her up.
Second off, she killed his son. She let him die, and made it happen - whether she meant she meant to or not. She listened to Neal, instead of him. She let Rumple watch his son die - watched his only son take his last breath in utter pain - because Neal said so. And now, he was gone. She also let the parent in mourning get recaptured by the witch - the very same woman that was basically the main cause of his son's murder. She let the woman play with him, let her torture his mind. And then, even though she knew he couldn't be there, she held the funeral. She had his son's funeral...without him. And suddenly, her thoughts wandered to the headstone, and - good Lord - she didn't even have the decency to put his real name! Neal was not his name, Baelfire was, but she still engraved it into that damn stone that stood over his corpse. Rumple had just been reunited with his son, had just been forgiven by him, and lost him all too quickly.
Her heart rate rose, her throat suddenly feeling dry. She swallowed, hoping it would moisten her mouth, but it only made it worse.
"Love?" Killian's hand was on her chin now, and he looked concerned. "Emma, talk to me - what's going on?"
Emma didn't respond at first, only let her eyes meet his. They were wetter than normal, but no tears had come...yet. She swallowed again, took in a breathe, and brought her hand up to Killian's to pluck his own hand away from her chin.
And how about the fact that she had complained about having no parents for most of her life, when Rumple basically never had parents...and never would. Both of his parents were wack. One despised him for something that clearly wasn't his fault, then left him...the other destined to kill him? So she also left him and is now evil considered the back fairy? That...was messed up beyond belief. Not to mention, his wife also left him...no wonder Gold was so messed up.
She found her family, but he'd never had one. Or how about the fact that he never had anyone to turn to, because no one would take him? Or the fact that no one wanted to help him like people wanted to help Regina? He never even had a chance.
Because no one ever gave him one.
Yes, there was Belle. But despite her love, it just wasn't enough. She could never fully understand him. Come to think of it, she always tried to change him, and never really tried to heal him. She loved him, Emma saw that, but the younger woman was naive at times, and could never understand him on a personal level.
But Emma could. Well, now she could. Not fully, but enough to maybe reach out. Give him hope the way she gave Regina hope. She was rather stubborn - Regina never ceased to tell her that - so maybe she could help. To pay back for everything she'd done.
"I need to talk to Gold," She finally stated, bouncing her head up and down to stop herself from backing out - like somehow that would give her enough courage.
"What - why?" Killian was clueless, because, apparently, he couldn't read minds. He cocked his head to the side, that hint of 'something's wrong, I can feel it' look slowly appearing on his features.
"To...I don't know." She felt kind of stupid now. How could she put this to make it not sound...completely absurd? It was a challenge, indeed. "To help him."
Apparently, a failed challenge, because Killian's features didn't exactly hold delight in it.
"Why the Hell would you want to help him?"
"Because no one else will." It was cheesy, and a little too emotional for her own good, but it held truth. Ugly truth, but the truth nonetheless. You now those movies that hold that one, grumpy, old man that everyone hates and doesn't understand? Emma felt that was the role Gold was currently playing in this town.
"Love, you've already saved your family. You've done enough saving for years." Killian attempted a lighthearted laugh, but it was tense and came out awkwardly.
"I didn't save everyone," Emma retorted. "I never saved him, never tried."
"He's not family -"
"He is." Emma snapped, pushing Killian's hand off her knee at a rapid pace. "Kind of. I mean, he's Henry's grandfather, and had Neal and I gotten married...he would have been my father-in-law."
Saying it out loud made her gag, not from disgust, but from shame. How could she have been so blind?
"But he's not," Killian argued lightly, proceeding with caution. "He's never done anything for us."
"And we've never done anything for him!" Why was she getting so emotional? This made zero sense to her, but it felt right. And that was enough to keep her going. "Nobody's ever done anything for him! And it isn't fair!"
"Life isn't fair!" Killian shot back, and he really shouldn't have. "Emma, no one gets an easy life. No one."
"I know that! I lived that! So did he!"
"And so did I!" Killian threw his hands in the air. "What makes him different from all of us, huh? Tell me, Emma."
"He never had anyone! He still doesn't have anyone!"
Killian hated Gold, with a deep, burning passion. It made sense why his next sentence came out without a thought.
"You won't get far! Emma, give up. He doesn't have anyone because he leaves, he kills. He refuses help, and takes it out on other people! He's helpless." He hissed.
Emma paused with a dull laugh. She was smiling, but it was an angry smile - no where near happy. She shook her head.
"So was I," Was her next sentence as she stared Killian dead in the eye. And with that, she grabbed her purple coat and walked out. Killian sighed, but stayed where he was - he knew better than to go after her.
It was pretty windy outside, which was the first thing Emma noticed as she was walking the streets of the town. Her blonde hair was tied in a ponytail, blowing around with the wind. Aimlessly walking, she found herself stomping into Gold's shop. She busted in, the poor, abused bell signaling her presence. Gold looked up, a look of confusion running across his face. Right...he was wondering why she was here.
"Hey, Gold." Emma breathed out, rubbing her nose to warm it up. She took off her scarf, deciding she'd get hot with the heater on. She threw off her coat, too, hanging it on her arm.
"Miss Swan," Gold greeted with a slow nod, clearly still confused of her presence. He shifted onto his other foot, and eyed her again, waiting for her response. "is there something I can help you with?"
"Uh, no." Dammit, now what was she supposed to do? "Not...really."
He gave her a look that morphed between annoyance and confusion, his eyebrows narrowed.
"Then may I ask for your reasoning for busting into my shop at..." He glanced upwards at a clock that hung above a tall bookshelf. "...half past midnight?"
"I just, ah..." She wrinkled her nose, tasting words and swallowing them when they didn't match what she wanted to say.
"Miss Swan-"
"How are you?" She blurted, because damn it all, there was no easy way to bring up such a topic.
She would have liked to say he melted with the sudden act of affection, opened up easily, and that they talked with such ease, but...no. Instead, Gold looked amused. He chuckled as he tilted his head forward and drummed his fingers on the glass counter.
"Do I have something on my nose?" She attempted to joke as she brought her left hand to the skin on her face. "Maybe I'm much funnier than I, ah, realized..."
The amusement didn't fall from his face. "Go home, Miss Swan."
"No," Internally, every fiber of her being said to leave. If she was smart, she would tempt him no further and walk out that door like he'd requested - no, demanded. But Emma never claimed to be smart. So, she took in a breath, and repeated herself. "No."
Gold chuckled, and Emma felt stupid as his eyes seemed to mock her. "No? My my, what a hero."
Another chuckle rumbled in his throat as he walked - more like glided - to the end of counter, as if he was an evil sorcerer - oh, wait, he was. Emma swallowed. Why was she here again? Oh, yeah.
"That is the talk around town," She responded. Better to play his game than to go against it. "Never thought you were a gossiper, though. Guess you learn something new every day."
"Guess you do," Gold leaned his hip against the glass counter. He smiled toothily, reminding Emma of the first time she met him at Granny's Bed And Breakfast. "Miss Swan, while I always love a good banter, I have to ask: What are you here for?"
"I've already said."
"No. You haven't."
She huffed, again feeling stupid despite herself. "I came to check on you."
"To check on me?"
"Yes." She emphasized.
"To check on me." He repeated, thought it was more of a statement than a question this time. "To - Miss Swan, what is this?"
Okay, so, explanation time. Why was she checking on him? No, why did she feel the need to check on him?
"Your father - Pan - he was a jackass."
"Well, thank you for noticing."
"No, that's not what -" Emma sighed. "I'm trying to relate."
"With Snow White and Prince Charming as your parents?" Gold inquired, as if the idea was hilarious. And okay, he's not wrong. Anyone would definitely kill for her parents, she was definitely lucky.
"They weren't always my parents." She insisted, crossing her arms defensively. "Besides, they're not perfect. They've lied, for one."
"And hide behind the hero card," Gold added thoughtfully. "Fair enough."
"Hide behind the hero card?" Emm questioned lightly. Gold snorted.
"When dear Snow White decides to kill Cora for the greater good, she's considered a hero, but when I kill Zelena for murdering my son and enslaving me, I'm considered a villain." Gold lifted an eyebrow at her. "You don't find something wrong with that?"
"No," Emma snapped, defensive of her parents. "Zelena, for one, was captured. She wasn't harming anyone. It was unjust."
"She had already harmed someone." Gold snapped right back. "My son, for one - Henry's father. Not including my misfortune of being treated like an animal - she locked me in a cage, all the while you heros held my son's funeral. Talk about unjust."
Emma cringed - okay, so maybe he had a point.
"But it's all alright now," Gold waved a hand mockingly. "She has a child now - unfortunate thing - and shows a shred of human decency, so now she's a hero."
Emma's mind reeled. She licked her lips. Now that he put it that way...it didn't sound right at all.
"Ahh," Gold leaned back to admire her baffled expression. "Now you're seeing it."
"Seeing what?" She snapped.
"The real unjust," He answered her. "The hierarchy you heros hide behind. Actions that would morally be wrong justified by the title you hold. Every hero has it - no villain gains from it."
"Because you're villains." Emma argued with a snort.
"A social construct you've made up to separate you from anyone else who doesn't have the same views as you do. I'm not saying the things I have done are right, I'm saying you heros interpret the things you do as right, when in reality, the actions are the same." Gold pointed out carefully.
"But villains murder people. They're evil." Emma shook her head, her own guilt denying her the truth. Anger bubbled in her. How dare he...
"Evil is an opinion," Gold frowned at this. "What makes someone evil, Emma?"
This was the first time he'd addressed her by her first name. It sent chills down her spine.
"Bad intentions? I don't - it's just - bad. Bad actions for their own personal gain, not thinking of anyone else but themselves. Killing, just bad." Emma was at a loss of words. This isn't - her parents are bad.
"The world is not as black and white as you're making it out to be." Gold's breathing steadied. "Heroes kill, your own mother killed Cora, not even thinking about how others would feel. How do you think Regina felt when her mother died? But it's okay though, because killing Cora helped us win the battle for our own personal gain."
Emma's head felt heavy. No. He's wrong.
"That's not the same thing," She muttered quietly, her arms hugging herself. Doubt etched within her.
"How so?" Gold tilted his head. "They still killed a person. But because of their title, it's considered heroic. I'm not saying Cora deserved to live, but the action was morally evil."
"She felt terrible after though…" Emma tried to defend.
"So if say I'm guilty for killing Zelena, the action goes away? Guilt cannot erase what happened." Emma wanted to throw up. Bile rose in her throat. "And how about your father? Dear Prince Charming. He murdered many guards trying to get you to the wardrobe."
"He was protecting me." Emma protested weakly, her head pounding.
"And that erases the fact that they were murdered? They must have had families, children, wives...how do you think they felt when they realized one of their own was killed?"
"They were working for the queen!" She shouted.
"Were they? Or were they forced to do as they were told out of fear? Last I remember, Regina treated them like slaves. Maybe they were."
"They were doing bad things," Emma whispered.
"They were simply on the opposite side, and most likely not willingly." Gold shuffled his feet. "Besides, killing, I think, counts as a bad act."
Emma did throw up this time, retching onto the floor as she dropped to her knees. She gagged a few more times, her heart pounding, her palms sweaty as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. The nausea she felt had now passed, but her head still pounded. She looked up just in time to see Gold at her side, offering her a glass of water and a napkin. She took it gratefully, still on the ground.
Gold waved a hand and the vomit vanished into thin air. Emma then sat up and took a sip of the water finally. It could be poisoned, she realized, just as she swallowed her first sip. But, she figured, if Gold had wantd her dead, she would most likely already be. With that in thought, she took a large gulp. Then paused.
"Peppermint?" Her voice sounded uneven. She cleared her throat as Gold turned to her.
"Helps with nausea," Gold commented with a shrug. Emma nodded silently.
Gold left her on the floor as he went into the back of his shop to do God-knows-what. She appreciated the silence, though, turning around to rest her back against the cool, glass counter. And so, she thought.
True to her own beliefs, her parents did have good intentions when they did all this stuff, but was that enough? Was it enough to erase the act completely? Did it make it right? Did it make it not evil?
Her mind raced, only stopping when Gold finally re-entered the room. She looked up, meeting his stoic gaze before it dropped to his arms. Her purple sweater folded over his arm. Without a word, he stepped towards her, bending down to her level. With a gentleness she never knew he had, he slipped one sleeve onto her arm.
It was quiet. With the last of her courage mustered, she swallowed. "Gold?"
He didn't respond, but she knew he was listening.
"Is it really the same?" Emma's voice croaked with clogged emotions. "Their actions, are - are they really the same as a villains?"
Gold sighed, but was silent until her sweater was entirely on. He finally met her gaze.
"Technically, yes." He started, and Emma sucked in a breath. "But thought does count, I do believe in that. It's not everything, but it counts for something. I'm not saying your parents are evil, as you put it, but that...not every villain might be either. The world is neither black or white, but some mixture of both."
Pausing to help her stand, she let him slip an arm under her to hoist her up. She wobbled for a second, letting him steady her before taking her scarf he offered her.
"Then, what's your point?" She asked, putting the scarf around her neck.
"Can you walk?" He ignored her question. His tone was firm, but concern etched his voice. "If you do not feel you can walk, I can call one of your parents. I noticed you didn't bring your cell."
"Forgot it," She muttered. "It's fine, I can walk."
"Only walk if you are sure, I don't need your father running my door down with his truck when he finds you passed out a foot away from my shop." A hint of amusement laced his voice.
"He would, wouldn't he," Emma snorted. "Yeah, I can walk."
"Off you go, then. It's late. I have work to do." And the Mr. Gold she knew was back. At least it felt familiar.
"Yeah, yeah," She rolled her eyes, turning her back to him as she headed for the door. "I'm going, jeez."
She opened the door, the little bell ringing loudly. Immediately, the wind blew in her face, making her shiver. Before she could exit, Gold spoke up.
"Miss Swan," He called out. Emma turned around, lifting an eyebrow.
"Huh?"
"My point," He folded his hands together in front of him. "is every villain is a hero in their own story."
And with that, his gaze tore away from her as he exited into the back of his shop. Emma stared for a few more seconds, before leaving and closing the door behind her. Heading for the direction of her house, she briefly heard the bell chime one more time.
A/N: I have no idea what this is. I started this one-shot a day after episode 19 of season 6 came out, around 2 in the morning and jazzed on coffee. And so, I'm posting it. I really loved the scene between Emma and Gold in the dream world, it was refreshing seeing Rumple actually talk to someone about his parents. I've always wanted more scenes with them. Oh, and so no one gets confused, this is NOT A SHIP. I DO NOT SHIP THEM. I'm talking either frendshipish or father-daughter kind of. In a way. I was just rewatching season 1 for shits and giggles because I really missed it, and I came across so many sweet and funny scenes with Gold and Emma. I've loved their dynamic from the beginning. All of you Snow and Charming lovers, please don't get offended. I am in no way saying they are evil or they're actions and stuff is like not justified or anything. I just think that after season 3 (the best season, in my opinion), Emma seemed to dismiss her moral values. Even when she didn't approve of Gold or any one else's actions, she also would tell her parents when she thought something was wrong. Now? She goes with it. Ultimately, this is the show's fault. After season three, the writers used Rumple as an escape goat and completely forgot and dismissed Rumple's redemption/arc? Like...no one talked about it? And all the characters just...like...never even mentioned or thanked him for sacrificing his life to save them, people who haven't don't shit for him? Idk, it made me angry. Rumple's character is so complex and still one of my favorite villainy characters ever. I just expected more from the writers, but hey, I have no idea what it's like to write a show, so no judgment here. But yeah...I might continue this, I might not. Most likely will, though - because I have a lot of things I want to address that I felt was unfair and stuff and...I'm going to stop taking now, aha. Anyway, hope you enjoy! Please tell me what you think of it, and really, I want to know what you think of the points, and agree with me on how they forgot Rumple's arc and all that stuff. But, uh, enjoy!
