People go around, living their lives without really examining them. What is the purpose of this? To comfort ourselves? To assure ourselves that what we're doing now is just fine, we don't need to take chances? Or, is it to remain blissfully ignorant? Too bad as a witch, ignorance isn't bliss. Ignorance can be dangerous. If you don't know what is happening to you as your powers begin to show, you can hurt others and yourself.
That's what happened with me. Well, at least in the beginning. The transition from not-so-normal to less-not-so-normal was painful. I had to stop seeing my friends for a bit, and they were hurt, but it was for the best. It is better to hurt them a little emotionally than to hurt them a lot physically. You see, there were some birth pains that came with my 'gifts'. None of my family seemed to have any idea of this side of our heritage, which led me to believe that I was adopted. But, that wasn't the case considering I'd called the hospital and asked them to look into it. I was my parent's daughter. That just left me with more questions. Still, I managed.
That's the thing about me. I manage. I get by. I continue to go day by day, making sure I like what I see and if not, I change it. I googled absolutely everything I could find on witches, witchcraft, magic, anything I could think of to relate to my weird cases. One still appears in my dreams sometimes...
I shook my head and roused myself from my musings. It was late, around 8:00 and I had promised my parents I wouldn't stay out after dark too long. I just had to gather some herbs from the field for some of my self-taught spells. You pick things up a little everywhere and some of the ladies in herbalist shops had been very helpful as well. Not that they actually believed in what I could do. They probably thought I was a crazy young girl who was in need of some serious medication, but if something works then use it.
"Willow. Oh for goodness' sake there are no willows in this park!" I grumbled to myself. "I need some for tomorrow..." I shrugged my shoulders, breathing in deeply, then out again. Even after four months of acceptance it was still hard to keep my emotions in check sometimes. I didn't want to light a field on fire, or blow up a building so every time I noticed it getting out of hand I fought to remain calm.
I still had not told anyone about my little predicament. It wasn't like I was sort-of sure, or almost sure. I was certain. I had tested everything. I had summoned water up through the pipes to the sink while it was off, I had lifted a shoe up into the air when no one was home without touching it. I do not believe in coincidences, either.
I glanced at my watched and swore. Time had jumped away from me. "8:12 already!" I was spending too much time brooding tonight. I really needed a hobby- a real one. You can't really list 'magic' as a hobby on eHarmony. "I don't need eHarmony." I finished putting some clover leaves into a plastic baggie and shoved it quickly into my bright red backpack. It was time for me to go. I could feel something bad was about to happen.
I turned around and nearly screamed. A man was standing in front of me- only a foot away. He wasn't bad looking either. He was medium height, dark hair, chiselled features, prominent cheekbones. He was nice to look at but I was not getting a nice vibe from him.
"Do you make it a habit of sneaking up on girls at night?" I smiled at him and cocked a hip. No matter what this guy tried I had magic on my side and I was not afraid of getting hurt. Much.
He flashed me his teeth and I saw two that were longer than they should have been. I tried not to let any emotion show on my face. Of course. If there were witches why not vampires. Maybe in ten minutes a werewolf would show up and we could have a tea party. "Only the pretty ones."
I could see that he was waiting for me to swoon or blush or do something girly but I had dropped girly four months ago and I would never be able to go back to partying and boys as if nothing had happened. Or maybe I could. I could blame it on home life or a pregnancy scare or something. Any semblance of normality would have been great. Instead all I said was, "Cool,"
He raised an eyebrow at me. "Cool?"
"Cool." I nodded and turned, walking away. Do not follow me creepy guy or vampire or whatever the heck you are... I blinked and he was suddenly in front of me again. "Nice trick." I continued to walk, and I walked right past him. Maybe he would get the message. I blinked again and again he was in front of me, one second not there, and there the next. "You really can't take a hint can you?"
"Careful. You might hurt my feelings." I could see the wheels in his head turning. I was certain I only had a minute or less before he realized that there was something different about me.
"As if you have any." I rolled my eyes, and used that as a ploy to distract him from whatever he was thinking about.
"True. Because I turned mine off." the veins around his eyes got red and his incisors extended, and suddenly he was at my neck.
"As if!" I projected thoughts of fire into the word 'if' and suddenly he was off me, rolling on the ground. I let go of the magic as soon as he was off me, and I sprinted away, keeping a protective barrier around me. Next time if he got close I had a feeling it would be to kill me, and this would be without sucking my blood this time.
I ran into my house and slammed the door shut, driving home the lock and running to lock each and every one of our windows. I would be doing my ritual indoors tonight I suppose. Nobody was home except for my dog which I took as a blessing because I wouldn't have to explain why I was so distraught. I pet my dog and let my tension slowly release itself while I petted her.
"You know, baby girl, if you'd told me four months that my life would have been like this I would have taken enough shots to make me puke, just to forget. Now, all I can do is just keep pretending like I'm okay with this." I sighed. I could do this. THat was part of being the oldest anyways. Protect yourself and your family, until the end.
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"No..." I looked over at the boy writhing on the ground, covered in welts and then touched the tears on my face. He'd hurt my best friend so badly, I'd been so mad... He wasn't moving and everyone was screaming, not knowing what had happened. That was what would save me. The confusion. But I didn't want to be saved. I just wanted to go back to twenty minutes ago before this douche had cheated on my best friend, to before I'd gotten so angry at him and sad for my friend that my emotions had gotten away from me. To before I'd pictured him being covered with sores, one burn for every time he'd ever burned a girl.
"I can't..." I sobbed into my hands knowing I should do something. I ran over to check his breathing. He was breathing, but faintly. "I need... someone call 911!" I shouted, my voice breaking. I was in agony and my chest was burning with something that I didn't recognize. I had never felt this way before. It was as if sadness was swallowing me whole from the inside out, starting deep in my chest, turning emotion into physicality.
"I'm so sorry, so sorry, so sorry..." I sobbed quietly to him. No one was near enough to hear me. They all thought I was helping. I had done this. I was a monster.
I turned to the tapping noise behind me, but no one was there.
The tapping continued and I blinked, realizing that it was coming from my window. I breathed deeply and closed my eyes. That recurring nightmare would haunt me to the day I died. Mostly because it had actually happened. The boy was okay but I would never forgive myself for what I'd done. And what's worse, he had thanked me afterwards for trying to save him. How ironic.
The tapping continued and my heart froze. Nothing natural could tap like that. Preparing for the worst I snuck up to my window and pulled back the blinds. My heart plummeted. "You!"
