Disclaimer: X aint mine.
Evil. It horrifies us, terrifies us but yet at the same time fascinates us. We are drawn to it simply because we recognize the fact that deep down, anyone of us, no matter how good, how kind, or how pure in spirit, are susceptible to the evil inside of us, not matter how deeply it is buried.
Sometimes it seems so cynical to claim that everyone has a source of evil within us, but the truth is that it was always there, waiting silently. We are all capable of doing harm, no matter how strongly we may choose to deny that fact.
Subaru knew that. As he clenched his fist, he wondered if he did so in anger or in hatred or because all around him there was a sense of hopelessness. He sneered suddenly, his thoughts clouding his already depressed mood. To think that Seishirou had told him plainly that he would never be evil and would always bear the innocence of a child had stunned him.
You will never be worthy of my attention.
It was not spoken but it hovered between the two like a shadow. A shadow of death. Death would be the most probable outcome of what Subaru had come to call their strange and twisted relationship: A fatal attraction.
Innocent? Do you really deem me as such?
It seemed rather mocking. Contemptuous. Subaru hated that. On more than one occasion, Seishirou had tossed contemptuous looks at him and Subaru refused to accept any more. If there was any looking down to do, Subaru wanted it to be him looking down on Seishirou, not the other way around.
But really. What was so attractive about Seishirou that made it unable for Subaru to let go? The years of waiting and longing for an outcome that would never take place? The care and concern masking an ulterior motive?
Or was it more simple than that. The attractiveness of evil? The allure of such smoothness hidden behind a perfect mask? Seishirou was not truly evil, but he possessed the slickness of water sliding over smooth rock and that was the true allure of the man. How one could possess such a façade was the true attraction.
Subaru smiled. If there were no feelings and everything was just a forced reaction, he would easily shake off his obsession with Seishirou. Easier said than done, he knew. Time to turn the tables on Seishirou, time to make Seishirou feel what Subaru had felt all these years.
He walked on, ignoring the people around him, ignoring the place he walked to. He walked, simply walked. He stopped in front of a restaurant, shook his head at his clothes and made a turn for a clothing shop. He allowed himself the satisfaction of picking out the clothes he liked and while the Subaru of old would have whimpered at the price, the new Subaru merely flicked his credit card onto the table, where it slid smoothly across to the cashier. Having done that, he returned to the restaurant where he wined and dined in style.
He repeated this pattern for many days.
He still did his duties faithfully but never failed to pamper himself in one way or the other. He refurnished his apartment and lingered in baths. It was a complete change of lifestyle. Subaru loved it, regardless of the outcome he hoped to achieve.
And one night, he received his long awaited visitor.
He knew, without looking up, who his unannounced guest was. The strong scent of sakura overwhelmed the scent of the blood red roses he had bought earlier that day. He bowed his head, waiting.
"This is new."
"This is different."
"I'm not sure I like the new." This was said with Seishirou's breath on Subaru's neck, very close to his ear. Subaru did not flinch, he turned his head slightly and whispered back, "Too bad for you then."
Seishirou stopped and somehow could not respond. He found the whole procedure odd and disconnecting. Still, there was a level of intrigue that Subaru had placed on the whole situation. For once, Seishirou could hardly begin to imagine the purpose of the younger man.
"What's all this?" Seishirou said sharply, annoyed that he could not fathom what the Sumeragi was thinking.
"Nothing, I felt it was high time for me to get out there and live life."
Seishirou stared and without warning, left in a whirlwind of pink petals.
Subaru smiled. He knew that Seishirou would return.
And return the Sakurazukamouri did when Subaru was having his bath. Subaru noted the shadow that had fallen over his book and smiled. Seishirou frowned, the amount of smiling Subaru did these days made the situation even more puzzling.
A hand swirled the water around. Subaru watched as the hand crept up his arm and made its way past his shoulder. His muscles went slack. The hand stopped its movement and withdrew.
"You're not tensed."
"Should I be?"
The hand hovered between Subaru's thigh and the water. Subaru looked up, his green eyes piercing Seishirou's brown one. It was a look full of sensuality that vanished almost immediately. Seishirou wondered if he had been dreaming. And there was curling in Seishirou's gut that was persistent and refused to go away.
Without warning, Seishirou gripped Subaru's chin in his hand, staring. He leaned in for a kiss which landed on Subaru's mouth. It was a short one, just a peck really. Subaru did not collapse and lean into his embrace. Seishirou frowned while Subaru inwardly rejoiced at the perplexed look on his face.
Then, a wicked grin spread across Seishirou's face and he leaned in again. Opening his mouth slightly, Seishirou gave Subaru a full throat kiss. He sucked Subaru's lips gently and pushed his tongue in, hoping to get a better response. There had rarely been times in Seishirou's life that he had given a kiss and not received it back wholeheartedly. Even while playing death, he had given light kisses to his victims, who had repaid him dazedly, almost dreamlike in their near death state.
Subaru repaid his kiss this time. With strength Seishirou did not know Subaru possessed, Subaru wound his arms around Seishirou's neck and bit him gently on the insides of his mouth. Seishirou tried to control the moan that wanted to escape but failed to do so. There was something so much more attractive about the new Subaru than the old. So much more...
Subaru withdrew and Seishirou grouped blindly for the intense pleasure that was suddenly given and suddenly taken away. He opened his eyes and noted with alarm that Subaru was smiling again. It was not one of warmth, not one lovers would share but one of contempt, a cold smile, so wonderfully similar to what he himself had given Subaru many many times before.
Sudden realization.
"You want me, don't you?" Subaru tilted his head, a come-hither smile on his lips. A smile that did not reach his eyes.
"You arrogant son of a bitch."
"Yes." The word was whispered out, and even Seishirou could not deny that he felt something strongly like attraction for Subaru.
And the score was 1-0, in Subaru's favour.
"Why?" Sudden intense fury.
"I can be evil, I can be cold hearted and I am not innocent." Each word was punctuated with feeling. Seishirou bothered with him because it was something new.
Sudden sadness.
"No, you'll never be evil, not truly."
"Neither will you. Though one must admit you certainly were much more attracted to me when I didn't care for you, when I did things in your style."
"And this was all to prove that you were never innocent." The attraction slipped a notch but lingered. Somehow the aura of intrigue was much less after the explanation.
"Well then..." Seishirou's arms lingered at his side, relaxed.
"Don't promise what you can't deliver." With a smooth motion, Seishirou slid into the bath, his hands tracing meaningless patterns on Subaru's skin. The warmth of the water intensified, as Seishirou leaned in to take what Subaru had dangled in front of him.
Subaru gasped, he was unprepared.
"See? You'll never be truly evil..." "Just a mask..." Seishirou kissed Subaru hard and Subaru succumbed to the passionate feelings he knew had never really disappeared. Seishirou's kisses left him breathless and this time, it was he that reached for Seishirou.
His arms clutched thin air.
"Not like me." Seishirou smiled disarmingly, his perfect mask back in place. He walked out of the bathroom, droplets of water flying everywhere.
Subaru banged his head on the bathroom tiles. He had given in too early, too easily. Next time, he vowed. Next time.
And the score 1-1.
Not really a draw though, even though there were figures, somehow there seemed to be a lot more in Seishirou's favour. A lot more...
-end?-
A/N: Okay, something new... not sure where I'm even going with this. Review!
