Disclaimer - I own not Super Smash Bros Brawl, nor any of the games which the characters featured in this come from.

It was an average Saturday night in Smash Mansion. The place was alive with shouting and general chaos, as it always was at that time.

In the living room, the TV was switching between two channels at an alarmingly fast rate. An exasperated Link and Mario were watching Zelda and Peach play tug of war with the remote.

"Hylians Come Dancing!" shouted Zelda.

"The Toad Factor!" shrieked Peach.

"Hylians Come Dancing!"

"The Toad Factor!"

"Hylians!"

"Toad!"

"Hylians!"

"Toad!"

"Hylians!"

"Toad!"

Peach looked as though she was about to fall over backwards into the TV, which really wouldn't be good. Last time that happened, Ganondorf almost killed Ike with dark magic, and because of this Lucas nearly chopped his finger off with the electric blender.

"Hylians!"

"Toad!"

"Hylians!"

"Toads!"

"HY – LIANS!"

Zelda yanked the remote out of Peach's hand, and the men watching shut their eyes as Peach inevitably fell back into the TV – but she went over sideways, narrowly avoiding it. Zelda completely ignored the blonde on the floor, and sat down on the sofa, before turning the channel to her programme and watching it for all of about ten seconds. Quite suddenly, Peach stealthily leapt up to her feet and lunged at Zelda, pulling the remote from her and turning the TV over. Link sighed as the arguing resumed.

"Hylians!"

"Toad!"

"Will they ever decide what to watch?" groaned Mario.

"Din knows," sighed Link, pushing his hair out of his face. He got up and added, "I think I'll go into the kitchen. Marth, Ike, Sonic, Lucas and Ness are makingdinner. Let's just hope that we don't have a repeat of the last time they made dinner – sweet Farore, Kirby throwing up all over the dorm carpet almost gaveme nightmares. It didn't seem to end, and that room has never smelt the same since."

Mario nodded, and Link went into the kitchen, almost tripping over Jigglypuff (who was pretending to be a lump in the carpet in a game of hide-and-seek with

Toon Link). He found a scene of wreckage and disaster.

The air was thick with flour, but through the cloud he saw Marth and Ike engaged in a furious battle with two rolling pins. Meanwhile, Lucas and Ness were attempting to knead dough, with Sonic trying to blend tomato purée. He then lost control of the electric whisk and splattered Lucas and Ness. Then, the latter boy started shouting at Sonic because his t-shirt was ruined, and in surprise, Lucas dropped the dough onto the floor.

"What is going on in here?" shouted Link. Everyone stopped and stared at him, looking very guilty.

"We were... er... trying to make pizza," said Ike.

"But it's gone a bit wrong," added Sonic.

"I'd say," came a voice from behind. Link turned around. It was Pit, looking a bit concerned at the abomination that was the kitchen.

"You'd better thank Palutena I turned up," said Pit. "My pizzas are famous up in Skyworld. Leave it to the master."

"I think we should ask Zelda or Peach to do this," said Marth, glancing incredulously at Pit. "After all, they are -"

"We're what?"

Marth gulped as Zelda marched up to him. As she went she left footprints in the carpet of flour.

"Er... nothing..."

"Oh, no, Marth, I'd love to know why we should do the cooking," hissed Zelda. "Is it because we're girls? Is that why?"

"No," croaked Marth.

"Blooming heck, she's really scary when she's angry," whispered Link to Pit. "Reminds me of Midna."

"Mid – who now?"

"Er... never mind."

"Tell me!"

"I'll tell you later, Pit."

Marth was backing up against the sink. Soon, he was almost bent over backwards, with Zelda pointing an accusing finger directly between his eyebrows.

"And why didn't you say Samus?" she said. "Is it because she doesn't wear a dress, and me and Peach do?"

"Er, Zelda," said Link, putting his hand on Zelda's shoulder and slightly turning her away. Zelda forced him off and glared at Marth. "Just... calm down, OK?"

"No, I will not calm down!" exclaimed Zelda. "He's gender stereotyping – again! Well, Marth, that's it. It's not acceptable!"

"Zelda!" came a shout from upstairs. "Need a hand!"

"Samus," said Zelda immediately, but she frowned. "Whatever."

"OK!" she called back.

She whipped back round to Marth and the finger was back, this time centimetres from his nose.

"Watch your step, Marth," she snapped. "I'm not taking any more of your stereotyping. I'll completely thrash you next time we've got to battle."

And she turned and left. All the boys went, "Ooooooh!"

"I heard that!"

Silence fell. The silence was then broken by Pit.

"Wonder why she's so bent out of shape," he said, frowning.

"You know how upset she gets with that sort of thing," replied Ike.

"Well, whatever."

Pit sighed, looking round at everyone.

"Right, guys, you seriously need help with this, or else we're all going to starve, and Ganondorf's gonna be really cranky."

Author's Note - This one's a bit short, but the next chapter is on the way. I hope you enjoyed this!