Jimmy: CHASE!
*Chase Peacock enters*
Chase: PRESENT!
Jimmy: I need you to do me a favor.
Chase: COOL! What is it?
Jimmy: I'm gonna be gone for a little so I need you to play me for just a couple nights. No one can know it's you.
Chase: Really?
Jimmy: Yeah. It's a big job and if you screw up I will personally go and fucking kill you in your sleep. You got that?
Chase: Uh... Yeah.
Jimmy: Plus, if you screw up, your going to have to deal with the fan girls for the rest of your life.
Chase: what are fan-?
Jimmy: ANDREW!
*Andrew Call enters*
Jimmy: Your services are needed.
*Andrew picks up Jimmy and carries him away*
Chase: ...ok
*Johnny enters*
Chase: (waves) Hi!
Johnny: WHAT THE HELL? YOU ARE YOU?
Chase: um... Uh... IM St. Jimmy and you better not wear it out... Dude!
Will: What the fuck?
Tunny: Is this guy for real?
Johnny: Where's Jimmy?
Chase: Like I said, I'm right here!
Whatsername: Whose the really attractive guy? Will's boyfriend?
Will: HEY!
Chase: No, I'm St. Jimmy!
Whatsername: Sure. No for real. Who is this?
Johnny: *shines a flashlight on Chase's face* Sooooo, Jimmy, if that is even your name...
(silence)
Chase: Don't wear it out?
Will: *slaps Chase across the face*
Chase: OWWWWWW!
Tunny: Why did you do that?
Will: AH! Jimmy always cuss' when he's hurt! That means this guy isn't the real Jimmy!
Tunny: That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard
Whatsername: *slaps Will across the face*
Will: OWWWWWW! FUCK YOU BITCH!
Tunny: ... Your an idiot.
Johnny: And American!
Tunny & Johnny: OHHHHH! *they high-five*
Chase: ... Okay, I'll just be on my way... *tries to sneak away*
Johnny: HEY! Get back here!
Will: *attacks Chase onto the floor*
Chase: GET OFF ME YOU FAT ASS!
Whatsername: What do you expect from a couch potato?
Will: HEY! Leave me alone! Go pick on Tunny or something!
Tunny: HEY! Leave the crippled war veteran alone!
Whatsername: HEY! Shut up!
Johnny: *Grabs Chase by the hair*
Chase: NO! Not the hair!
Johnny: TELL ME WHERE JIMMY IS OR-
Theo: *walks through the door*
Tunny: Have you ever heard of something called knocking?
Theo: *points to Will and Chase* Uh, what's going on here? Is Will fighting with his boyfriend or something?
Tunny: He's gay! I KNEW IT!
Will: Fuck you Theo! And no, Tunny. I'm NOT gay.
Theo: *cough* In denial *cough*
Chase: Id hate to intrude on this conversation but there is a man on me and I'd like him to GET OFF!
Theo: Chase?
Chase: What? NO! I mean... I'm not Chase! I'm St. Jimmy!
Theo: Dude, you're not fooling anyone. What are you doing here?
Johnny: You know this guy?
Theo: Yeah he's one of Jimmy's disciples. His name's Chase.
Chase: NO IT'S NOT!
Whatsername: Do you have something you want to say, Chase?
30 MINUTES LATER...
Chase: *hysterically crying. Will is still sitting on him* ...and he said fan girls would attack, what ever that is, if I messed up then Theo came and ruined my whole plan! And now there's a fat ass on me and everyones interrogating me and... And I just can't TAKE IT ANYMORE! *cries uncontrollably*
Others: ...
Whatsername: wow... He still attractive even when he cries.
Will: *bitch slaps her*
Whatsername: OWWWWWW! BITCH!
Will: Payback!
Tunny: Haha! That's funny because he bitch slapped her then she called him a-
Johnny: *kicks prosthetic leg off Tunny*
Tunny: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *falls*
Johnny: Chase, for the love of Mike-
Will: Who's Mike?
Whatsername: Yeah, I don't recall you ever mentioning anyone named Mike.
Theo: Maybe it's a nickname for that awesome director, Michael Mayer-
Will: Or that amazing and attractive actor Michael Esper!
Others: ...
Will: ... Or not.
Johnny: IT WAS JUST AN EXPRESSION!
Theo: Hey! There's no need to yell! Jesus, I-
Johnny: What?
Will: NOT YOU!
Johnny: *cries*
Whatsername: Here we go again...
Johnny: *hides behind Tunny* Tunny, Will is being mean!
Tunny: You're lucky I don't have my gun anymore or else I'd shoot a cap up your ass!
Will: Stop trying to sound black, Tun. You'll never be black, just accept it.
Tunny: *cries* STOP KILLING MY DREAMS!
Chase: *cries* STOP KILLING MY SPINE, YOU HIPPO!
Johnny: *cries* STOP HURTING MY FEELINGS!
Theo: Wow... Nobody likes you Will.
Will: ...
Whatsername: ... Sucks for you!
Jimmy: *walks through the door* Why is everyone crying? Did you guys watch Dr. Phil again or was it Extreme Makeover: Home Edition this time?
Theo: How come you asked Chase to be you and not me? I'd be a PERFECT St. Jimmy!
Jimmy: I'd rather have Melissa Etheridge be me before I would even think about asking you!
Chase: *waving* hi, Saint.
Jimmy: Will, get off my disciple.
Will: But-
Jimmy: NOW!
Will: *gets off of Chase*
Chase: I CAN BREATHE!
Johnny: *attacks Jimmy with a hug* I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!
Tunny: Wait a second, if Jimmy had left how come you weren't with him, Theo?
Theo: I needed some fresh air cause there's literally no air in Jimmy's pants! I mean his skinny jeans just make it impossible to breathe.
Jimmy: If you can't breathe then why don't you just get out of my clothing?
Theo: Because I love you. Plus everyone else's pants aren't that exciting. Well, almost everyones. Haven't tried Whatsername's yet. *smiles*
Whatsername: And your not going to.
Tunny: Wait, you've been in my pants?
Theo: Yep.
Tunny: And you don't find that disgusting.
Theo: No.
Tunny: Tell me again why we haven't called the cops on this creep.
Johnny: Drugs. Backroom. The police will not be happy to see that.
Tunny: oh yeah. Forgot about that.
Jimmy: Chase-
Chase: Look Saint, I'm sorry! I didn't listen and they found out about me and-
Jimmy: Chase!
Chase: Yeah?
Jimmy: It's cool. But just to let you know, you are NEVER going to be Jimmy again.
Chase: *pouts* Okay.
Jimmy: And don't think that means I'm going to ask you Theo.
Theo: *stops cutting his hair into a side hawk* DAMN IT!
Jimmy: ANDREW!
Andrew: *enters* Yes?
Jimmy: How would you like to be Jimmy for a couple of days?
Andrew: SWEET! *frolics out the door*
Theo: *pouts*
Jimmy: Well see ya later motherfuckers! *exits through door*
Chase: Well it was nice chatting with you all. Even though I was sat on by a potato and totally failed my job.
Johnny: OHHHHH! I get it!
Chase: Hey Johnny!
Johnny: What?
Chase: If you ever need someone to stand in for you, call me.
Johnny: Maybe.
Chase: *leaves the room*
Whatsername: ... Well, he was hot.
Johnny: Yeah but I'm still missing my Jimmy *pouts*
Andrew: MY NAME IS JIMMY AND YOU BETTER NOT WEAR IT OUT!
Will: ...
Tunny: ...
Theo: Let's just end the story here. So-
THE END
