Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight
Someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight
Somewhere, someday in the fogginess that is the past, I felt that love was as close as my sister. I don't think I ever realized how close we were until I completely lost her.
It was wonderful to have someone who cared. Who loved me how I was.....despite her mock annoyance and teasing.
I have this dream that I wake up and she's right in front of me, smiling telling me to get up or I'll be late.
And that HE will come in....but I'm not mad or upset. She teases me...mercilessly like always about us being the perfect couple.....that someday we'll get married.
I can almost smile through my crimson blush as she goes on and on........but as much as I naively cared about Seichirou, it never occurred to me that she wouldn't be a part of my future, a part of my happiness later on.
Somewhere out there someone's saying a prayer
That we'll find one another
in that dream somewhere out there
HE ruined all of that. I wake up screaming her name begging her to come back. I see outside of my window as I walk the streets of Tokyo.
She's always with me...just a foot from my grasp. Something refuses to let us meet to touch. So I walk along wishing to find her......to just hold my sister again.
And in those dreams, HE is wonderful. And I can love him and feel so safe. Safe in my sister's teasing, safe in his arms. But now that she is gone, I am lost, overwhelmed, and disenchanted with it all.
Nothing matters anymore, but Hokuto-chan.
I know he doesn't love me, can never love me. But I know she did. I wish for love like that, something pure, something nurturing. She was my twin, she was part of my soul. She was my laugh, my blush, my innocence.
And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing
on the same bright star
And when the night wind
starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky
I feel dismembered, disembodied. I wander alone out of place like a fish out of water, a puzzle missing half of it's jagged pieces.
HE doesn't care I know. I wonder if it would be better if HE did?
Maybe that is my wish. I wish to be with her again. And I don't mean in dreams or in sad memories, but in her sweet almost motherly embrace. We never had a mother...she was my mother....my everything.
I don't think it would matter if HE loved me truthfully. I don't think it matters if I love him.
I wish to be happy, I wish for time to go back to how it was.
But that can't happen, so I close my eyes again and sink into the familiar world of dreams and my past. I can be with her there.
..................and maybe I can love him if only in my dreams.
Somewhere out there if love can see us through
Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true
