Of Hearts and Souls
(A/N: OK, not totally relevant to this particular story but an announcement that I would like to get out. I will be rebooting the universe my Phantasy Star Portable stories take place in, as to make the stories with better quality than the originals and to make more sense. I'll go into more detail when I actually get around to publishing it. As for this story, it's basically a ramble of sorts based on a possible conversation involving insisted terminology/pseudo-philosophy :P . Anyway, I hope you enjoy the story, even if you didn't thank you for at least checking it out. Take care. Lyoko498)
(PS: Anyone out there think they can give me a rundown of the lore? I've only just picked the game up again recently after having lost my Play Station Portable charger for years (only to lose it again -.-) and I'm rusty on the lore, specifically Photons, and the resource crisis from Phantasy Star Portable 2, but you can give me any misc. information you think might help. It would be a big help and greatly appreciated. Though I will be taking some creative licenses with some aspects for either convenience, or simply to make the story entertaining and unique. Thank you. Lyoko498)
It wasn't uncommon for Shinobi to be visited by Vivienne so she could ask him questions. As she was trying to adapt to life in Gurhal, the young CAST was always full of inquiry and curiosity. He found this trait of hers to be rather endearing, the sheer innocence in her eyes when she asks questions, the child-like wonder when she understood what she was told. Though with that said, it was questions like the one she just asked that tended to get his own mind thinking.
"Do you think I have a heart?"
Shinobi was slightly dumbfounded by the question. He's always thought that she was a very kind and emotional person so logically he has always thought she had a heart, not a human heart, but a heart nonetheless. He answered, "Of course I do. Why wouldn't I?"
Vivienne replied to Shinobi's confusion, "It just seems sort of strange to me, that some people think that I lack the animating qualities, mainly from the likes of organic supremacy groups."
'So that's what's bugging you.' Shinobi thought. On a recent mission they actually ran into the Organics First cell, a group of organic terrorists similar to the Illuminus, but unlike the latter organization, they only believed that CASTS are inferior, seeing them as nothing more than walking computers without souls. Shinobi then spoke, "Hey, you know not to listen to them."
Vivienne frowned slightly, "I know but it still gets under my skin. I mean I'm sentient like you, sapient like you...how could I be heartless?"
Shinobi was slightly confused now. 'Heartless doesn't fit in this context...but if I correct her that might give her the wrong idea…' Vivienne noticed her friend's silence, as well as the confused look on his face.
"Shinobi? Is everything alright?"
Shinobi jumped slightly, wrapped up in his own thoughts, "Er! N-nothing important!"
Vivienne raised an eyebrow, "Shinobi, I know you're wondering about something. Considering how often I ask you questions I think I can at least supply you with some answers myself."
Shinobi sighed and said with a slightly nervous tone to his voice, "I think you might have used the word "heartless" wrong..."
"What do you mean Shinobi?"
Shinobi, still slightly nervous, answered, "Well, it's just that "heartless" usually means "unfeeling", "cruel", and well "evil"."
"And?"
"Well...it's just that I think the term you mean is "soulless"...which I'm not saying you are...!" Shinobi replied, quickly adding in the last part to prevent any unfortunate implications.
Vivienne responded, "I don't think there's much of a difference." Shinobi had a feeling that despite how the conversation started, it was going to take a more interesting turn. Vivienne asked, not offended by Shinobi's confusion much to his relief, "Why do you seem them as different things?"
Shinobi scratched his head, trying to gather his thoughts and avoid a ramble, as well as to not accidentally insult her. "Well," he began, "From what I've been taught, the soul is the actual essence of life. Without it, a sentient, sapient being could not live (if animals have them is a completely different metaphysical debate.) While the heart is generally a symbol for the total sum of emotions, the feelings of love, anger, sadness, happiness, hatred, contentment, stuff like that. Technically, a person can live without emotions, still having a soul in the process."
The CAST girl thought of a rebuttal of Shinobi's theory, smiling slightly. She didn't know why, but she was feeling a sort of enjoyment out of this more complex topic, maybe even more than just simply being taught something. "Have you ever met a person who lived without emotion, 100% without emotions?"
Shinobi thought for a second and came to a conclusion that didn't really surprise him that much, "No, I personally have not. It's just that there are philosophies that do teach to supplant emotions, including one called Stoicism."
Vivienne quickly searched through every databank available to her cybernetic brain, collecting all examples of Stoicism available. She then asked, "Shinobi, would you consider Lou a Stoic?"
The human didn't really know where this was going, so he replied, "Yeah, she's Stoic, why?"
Vivienne smiled as she found a flaw in the human's logic, "But she does have emotions. She minimizes them, but she still has them." Shinobi nodded. This was true, Lou may have been Stoic, but she was in fact a person of emotions.
Shinobi shrugged his shoulders. He smiled in a way telling Vivienne that she has poked a hole in his theory. "Good point. I suppose the rules are loosened in practice."
Vivienne however wanted to explore the hole she has made a little further. She asked, "Shinobi, how would you feel if you were to have to live your life without being able to feel? Without your emotions?"
This question left Shinobi quiet, quieter than usual, for what felt like an awfully long time. Vivienne was now wondering if she overstepped some sort of boundary. After what was really 10 minutes, Shinobi answered, "I suppose I wouldn't like to lead a life like that." Shinobi sat there, thinking for another five minutes. Vivienne also collected her thoughts and said, "Shinobi, I'm sorry if I'm upsetting you..."
Shinobi's head perked up immediately, replying, "No! Not at all Vivienne! I'm sorry for interrupting. Please continue."
Vivienne continued her question, "Can you explain why you wouldn't want a life like that?"
Shinobi again was collecting his thoughts, saying "Well for one, if I didn't have any sort of emotion, what could I do? My entire life, as corny as it sounds, is built on my memories and emotions. What worth would memories be without any corresponding emotions? How could I even be a GUARDIAN without the sympathy or empathy for the people I'm suppose to be protecting? How could you and I, or anyone I work with for that matter, be as functional as we are as a unit on these missions if I don't make some sort of connection with them? Basically, what sort of life could I live if I had no emotions?"
Vivienne analyzed what he said, knowing very well that this was clearly something sensitive. Trying to be careful with her wording she said, "Shinobi, I think you just gave me a synopsis as to why I feel that a heart and soul are truly one and the same. If someone lives without emotions, how is that living a life at all? If someone were to live with no emotions, no connections with others can truly be made.
"Things like life and death would lose their value. Life would just be meaningless because what would the point be in living if we don't at least somewhat connect to others? And why should we mourn for the dead if there is no reason to? But these are what make a being a being, correct? A connection between people?"
Shinobi sat there silently for a minute or two before giving a small smile. "You know Viv, this makes me wonder if I should be teaching you anything at all. I mean with a mind like your's you can be a philosopher." He went quiet for another moment before saying, "I see your point Viv. But like I said before, it doesn't matter. You're one of the nicest, sweetest people I've ever met."
Vivenne gave a little smile herself. "Thank you Shinobi. I know you say it doesn't matter, but that means a lot to me." The two just spent the next half hour just sitting there, shooting the breeze until they received a message from Lou and Nav to come immediately for debriefing on their next mission.
As they left Shinobi thought to himself, 'Those Organic First people are idiots. As if a machine can't have a heart, or a soul for that matter. Vivienne, you're living proof that they are wrong.'
