When a person screws up or says something rude to a friend, well all know the polite thing to do is apologize. The definition of apologize is to own up or to admit to ones fault and ask for forgiveness. Ok so that definition is sort of just from the top of my head but you get the point.
Apologizing for me is like pulling teeth or extremely difficult. The whole idea of owning up to something I have done is rather difficult, and yet is one thing I am sure I need to do at this very point in time, in fact I am sure there are several people that I need to apologize to but I don't know if I will ever do it.
So in this I will be expressing my apologies with out naming names or worry about the people finding out because for all they know I am oblivious the idea of what fanfiction is haha.
I am sorry for not caring anymore, I am sorry that I listen to you but only half heartedly, I am sorry that I can't help you till you help yourself. And the reason I refuse to tell you this is because you already know or at least I think you do. I can't tell you this because if I did you might consider me a bad person but really I just can't stand the thought of helping a person more then they can help themselves!
I am sorry to you because I can't tell when you are happy or sad, when you want me around or don't want to here my voice. I am sorry that you are sad more times out of the year then you are happy. And I can't apologize for that because it isn't my fault yet I feel as if it is. I can't apologize because I don't know if I have done anything wrong yet I desire to be with you side by side helping you through as much as you can. I wish to help you and talk to you and be around you because you have done more for me than you could even imagine.
I am probably most sorry to you because I am sure this list will be to short of the things I need to apologize for. I am sorry that anytime you have ever needed me I rather hang up on you or I lose my cell phone, but you always manage to get ahold of me, it isn't like I do it on purpose just happens but I have learned to always have my phone on me. I am sorry that I manage to get mad at you for the stupidest things, I am sorry that every time I get angry I blame you, I am sorry that you are the one closest to me yet you don't know all that much about me. And these things I am honestly sorry for and I actually need to tell you this yet I am afraid of what will happen, I am afraid that you would give me some weird stare of "what the hell are you talking about" or I would say it at the wrong time and need to apologize for that. I don't want to apologize because I would end up upset over something else and nothing would change I would still blame you for my issues or just get angry at you for no reason. You have done so much for me from inviting me places to just being a friend and yet I have done nothing for you but get mad at you for my sorrows.
How is it possible for the person that shows us the most respect is also the one that we end up blaming for the issues that the world puts on us? And I am not saying this is true in all cases I am saying that it is true for at least this or me. I try not to be a jealous person but you know life just needs to float on. So treat your friends with respect and they will hopefully show you the same. Also the time you have with them treat it as it could be the last because we grow up far to fast and the next thing you know they will just be a memory in the back of your head.
