This one didn't turn out quite like I wanted it to, but what can I say.


Teammates, Friends, Lovers

"In the way a friend feels about another friend," John said when Rodney asked if they really loved him.

Only, it's a hell of a lot more than that.

He's lost teammates before, more than he would have liked. He would have liked to have not lost a teammate ever, but in his line of work, it came with the territory.

He's lost teammates before. It's hurt every time, losing a friend, losing someone he'd depended on, someone who'd depended on him.

Only this is different.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. When they'd started sleeping together, it wasn't supposed to be about a relationship. It was supposed to be about two teammates, two friends helping each other out.

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

John would give anything for his team, to make sure they're all okay, because they're his responsibility, but also because they're his friends, his family.

He first realized when Rodney fell into his arms, clutching his head in pain. He realized that he wasn't sure what he'd do if he lost him, he wasn't sure he'd be able to survive without him.

He squashed the feelings and tried to ignore him as Rodney was wheeled down to the infirmary.

"In the way a friend feels about another friend," he'd said, because that was all it was supposed to be. Even on his deathbed, John can't tell Rodney that, yes, he loves him.

More than anything.