Homegrown

I do not OWN any of the characters, wish I did, then SQ would be canon by now ;).

Synopsis: AU of the episodes: Snow Drifts and There's No Place Like Home. Regina goes through the portal with Emma and not Hook. Together, both Emma and Regina must find a way back home, and while doing so will find out what Home truly means to both of them. This will be a SLOW SQ Burn, if you want lots of smut, then I highly recommend Violetscented and Juicecupswanqueen :). M rating for the last chapter, its pretty much T till then :)

A/N: There will be some references to scenes that never happened in the show, but ones I think could of happened, also am taking some minor liberties of some things that were said in S4, far as this story goes, the Frozen Arc and Zelena coming back are non-existent.

It's the weight that you carry from the things you think you want

from the song Homegrown by The Zak Brown Band

Glimpse into Emma's past;

We see 15yr old Emma Swan standing, watching another young child being adopted and going home with their new parents. She has a sad look, wondering why no one ever wants her. The lady who runs the group home approaches Emma and tells her, that she will get her chance at a family some day, she just needs to be patient. A lone tear falls as she thinks that her some day is long gone and that she will never have a real family and fill this empty void in her heart.

Present Day; Storybrooke Maine.

It's mid morning in the Charming loft, Emma and her parents are in the sitting area, with Mary Margaret holding her new born son in her arms.

"So have you got a name picked out yet?" Emma asked, as she stands, with her arms crossed looking at her mother. "Can't just keep calling him 'hey little brother' all the time".

David looks up, "Well there is a tradition back in our land where we have a naming coronation. All the people in the kingdom gather around as he is presented and told of his name".

Mary Margaret chimes in. "We would of done that with you, if it hadn't been for the curse," as she looks at her daughter.

"Wait, this isn't like the Lion King where your going to, like, hold him up, in front of the clock tower and start singing The Circle of Life are ya?" Emma gives her father a beseeching look.

"No, no, since we are in this realm, we thought we forfeit the Lion King part and just have a pot luck at Granny's tonight." Charming winks at Emma.

Just then the door bursts open and Henry walks in, carrying a newspaper. "Hey Gramps, Gram, Ma".

"What do you have there Henry?" Emma smiles at her son.

"Oh, it's the want ads, I thought I start looking for apartments, since it's getting a little cramp in here," as he looks at his blonde mother.

Emma looks at her son in surprise, then at her parents who give her a knowing look. Their daughter has been hinting that she wants to leave, to go back to N.Y.C, but has yet to mention this to Henry.

"Well kid, that's great, but don't be in such a rush, we need to talk about this, but later, right now, we were discussing the name of you new uncle, seems your grandparents still haven't picked out a name yet and are using some lame coronation potluck at Granny's to stall." As Henry starts rambling on with his grandparents, Emma gets a melancholy look in her eyes. She know she needs to speak to Henry soon about leaving, and what her plans are for her, and for him. 'There is only one person who could convince me to stay, but She is with forest man' sighs Emma, as she sadly watches her parents and son.

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Across town, at 108 Mifflin Street, after Regina received her heart back late yesterday with the defeat of her sister, Zelena, she wanted to wait till she was home before she reinserted it back into her chest. She just felt that between getting her memories of the missing year and having her heart back inside, she wasn't sure what emotional turmoil she would have. Just prior to going to bed, she finally pushed her darkened heart back into her chest, and then, after a brief moment, she gasped, clutched her heart and literally fell on the floor. The range of emotions were over powering along with the memories and feeling from that lost year. She leaned up against the bed, pulling her knees up and bowed her head, shaking. Twenty minutes later, she finally, slowly stood up, climbed into her bed, pulling the covers over her as she lay on her side, curled up, she succumbs to sleep.

'You believed I didn't cast that curse' ... 'I knew you were telling the truth' the face of Emma with trust in her eyes. Henry's face 'Your not evil, your just my Mom'. Snow in her kitchen, speaking about Cora 'I apologize ... for Cora' Regina responding 'I remember she did kill your mother'.

Regina tosses as more images and words assail her mind. 'I blame myself for Marion's death'... 'How did she die'... 'She was captured, but I don't know by who' Robin Hood's evasive response bounces around in her dream. Robin's image is replaced once again by Emma during the stakeout. 'Why did you come back',... 'because I know what Henry would say, "a hero would come back" '.

Now flat on her back, another image. Snow and Regina walking down a road 'You are not all evil and I am not all good'; ... 'you will find that happiness you seek, if you keep on this path, you will find hope, redemption and love again' ... ' Love finds a way, don't let it pass by, don't be afraid to love again' ... 'When you buried your heart, it wasn't just Henry you were missing' ... 'I have no idea who you are referring too dear' Regina sees herself march off.

Back in the mine, with the trigger diamond, of Emma, pleading 'Regina...please...there has to be another way' ... 'You may not be strong enough, but maybe we are'. Flashes of holding Emma's hand and feeling a warmth inside her.

A gentle hand grabbing Regina's 'You once told me that Love, True Love is magic, the most powerful Magic, how can I deny that for anyone'.

The next few hours till morning, nothing but images of blonde hair, green eyes, red jacket, cheeky grins and tight ass jeans played through the mind of the former mayor, till finally Regina wakes up tired and emotionally drained

She slowly gets out of bed and heads toward the shower. Once inside, letting the hot water hit the back of her neck, head bowed, as she places both hands on the wall. "Why are you invading my mind, Swan! Go away! How can I have these feelings for her, we have nothing in common, well except Henry. She is stubborn, never listens, her food habits are atrocious, half the time her beautiful hair is unkempt, why can't she see me." Regina smacks her forehead, "Stop acting like a love struck teenager. You are a Queen and more refined than that...but she looks so adorable when she is shy and awkward, that same puppy dog look Henry gets...and those skin tight jeans...Damn it!" With that last thought, Regina reaches for the shower knob and twists. "Son of bitch that's cold!"

Half an hour later down in the kitchen, she makes a pot of coffee, puts bread in the toaster, and leans against the counter waiting. "Well this is all complicated and confusing. How can Robin be my soulmate, when now that I have the past year back, I know I do not have those feeling I should if he was. I need to speak with him. I also need to discuss this with Tinkerbell". With that she grabs her toast, coffee, sits down and calls Robin to meet her in the park. She wants to do this on neutral ground.

An hour later, Regina arrives at the park, and walks down the path, eventually spying Robin standing at the edge of the lake. He turns as she approaches. "Hey, you sounded urgent on the phone, is everything okay?" He attempts to put his arms around the brunette, but she puts up her hand.

"No, we need to talk, about us, about what happened during the missing year." She waves her hand between them. "I...since getting my memory back, thoughts and feelings are starting to hit me and it's getting confusing. For one, how Marion may have died. You said she was captured, and was later killed. That it was your fault, and I specifically asked you if I was responsible, but you kept avoiding the subject."

Robin runs his hand through his hair, with a pained expression. "Yes, I remember you questioning me. I told you I wasn't sure. Only that she was captured, that I had heard multiple stories. That it was Prince John and that damn sheriff of his. That it was possibly King George, and yes, I heard it was the Evil Queen. I blamed myself because we had an argument over some petty thing. Marion went off while I had to attend to some business and when I went back to look for her, she was gone. After searching for days, then months, I would run into people who would say they saw her, that she was captured by soldiers and that she had died in captivity. I never found out the truth. After the curse broke, realizing that 28 years had passed, though it only felt like months, I tried to look for Nottingham, but he had disappeared, as had most of the realm, so I just gave up, and tried to accept it."

"So..it is possible...I was responsible for her death. Just another in a long line of people I had executed for no reason." Regina turns and sits down, dejected. "How can you even look at me without anger, knowing what I could of done"

Robin sits next to Regina. "When I first rescued you and Snow White from that flying monkey, I didn't even know who you were. Til me and my men joined up with this group, I had never seen The Queen nor did I know her real name. Besides that, last we had heard of her, she had disappeared along with most of the realm after the curse hit. It was only after I heard one of the dwarves refer to you as The Evil Queen, that I realized you were back. I will admit at first, once I found out, I was looking at you with great suspicion, even though I had no proof you had anything to do with my wife's death. But then when you put yourself in front of my son, to protect him from another monkey attack, I had to do some serious rethinking."

"You keep referring to HER. Even though she is me," Regina rasped harshly, as she points to herself. "Me!"

"Because over time I realized you are not The Evil Queen I had heard so much about. You obviously had found a truce with Snow, and most of the people traveling with you. I got to know the real you, and even though I don't know all of your past and what made you so dark and vengeful, I wanted to get to know you better."

Regina grabs Robin's hand in both of hers. "Don't you see, this is one of the reasons why we can't go further, not knowing if I caused your wife's death, the death of Roland's mother, having that hanging over my head. Robin, I care for you, and as much as I would like to love you...I...can't..."

Regina stops, trying to compose herself. "I remember having some feelings for someone, just before Pan's curse hit that I fully became aware of, but then they were gone. But now with my memories back...I am just in a emotional state, confusion...I can't stop thinking of..."

"So there was someone else." The thief states, as he continues, "back there, in the forest, I over heard you and Snow talking, I didn't mean to pry, talking about Henry and someone else you were missing. Is that who it is?"

Regina quietly murmurs "Yes,...well noo...it's complicated, the other person doesn't know, nor does she even reciprocate." She realizes what she just said and looks up quickly, her mouth open.

"Ah...yes,...I see, though it shouldn't be a surprised." Robin smiles. "It all makes sense now."

"What..what..does?" Regina stammers, as her cheeks blush.

The thief smirks, "You and Emma, you seem very close."

"I have no idea...it's not...err...how...well course we are close, we share a son. We had some difficulties early on, but I...she...we over came them..and we have become friends, but" Regina stops, looks down, then through clenched teeth, whispers "besides she is with that wit-less pirate"

Robin puts a finger on Regina's chin and lifts her head up, eyes twinkling, "Open your eyes Regina. I don't think she likes Hook THAT much.

The former Evil Queen blinks a few times, then "They are open, and all I see is Hook and Emma all cozy." Regina stands up, "I need to go..."

"Regina, even if there is no us now, I still like to be friends. Robin hugs Regina, "I hope things become clear for you soon." He then walks Regina to her car, and watches her drive off.

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Her next stop on her agenda is to find Tinkerbell. She heads off to Granny's B&B to chat with the green fairy.

Once she is parked, she gets out of the Mercedes, but before she can head up the steps, she is stopped by the Charmings as they stroll by with the new baby. "Hi Regina, glad we ran into you," Mary-Margaret starts, as she bends over to check on her son. "I...well we, wanted to make sure you knew about the pot luck tonight at Granny's. It's a naming party in lieu of a coronation. Emma was afraid we would pull a Lion King scene." The couple laugh, as Regina rolls her eyes. "So you will be there right? With Robin of course, after all you were a huge part in saving our son?" Mary-Margaret looks hopefully.

"Yes, I will be there, thank...thank you for inviting me." Regina looks down, overcome with a little bit of awkwardness. The pixie haired woman picks up on it, and looks at her husband, who gets the hint, and moves on with the stroller.

"Hey, are you okay? What with your sister caught and in jail, with Emma loosing her magic and well just everything that's happened the past few days." Mary-Margaret puts a hand on Regina's arm. The brunette looks up, "No...no...it's not that, just...I ended it with Robin. Since having my memories back, a lot of situations and things said back in the our realm, have resurfaced, one of which Robin had hinted about his wife's death, and I finally was able to get the truth, and...well as usual, I ...may have" Regina looks away, anguish in her eyes "been the cause of someone loosing their happiness." The woman looks at her former nemesis, then mumbles. "But even if I hadn't been responsible, I realized...I just didn't feel a connection like I should. Unfortunately now, that I know what I did, I just feel, once more, that I don't deserve anyone...even...Errm...Henry."

Regina turns to leave, but Mary-Margaret holds on to her arm. "Regina, you need to stop punishing yourself. I told you once we are not all good or all bad. That was the old you. Please, have faith in the people surrounding you. They know you, they know you are changing, and for the better. Henry...me and David, and Emma. Yes, Emma. I know you two started out on the wrong foot," Mary-Margaret gives a little smile and Regina smirks, "but you both overcame your insecurities, and brought down those walls. You two are more alike than you realize. You both deserve happiness and love." The knowing look in Mary-Margaret's eyes makes Regina look in shock and embarrassment.

"I...I have to go..I uh...I will see you tonight." With that, Regina turns and walks quickly away and up the stairs to the B&B.

Mary-Margaret watches her, with a twinkle in her eye and a chuckle, "Oh...Regina, you can't fool me, I know that look, and I have seen how you both try not to look at each other when the other isn't looking," she mumbles as she walks to catch up with her family.

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Regina stops at the door of Tink's room, then knocks quietly. As the door opens, the brunette rushes in, and turns as Tink closes the door. "We need to talk about this soulmate finding pixie dust of yours. I think it's has a screw loose. Robin is not my soulmate. He can't be, not with what I could of possibly done to his wife..." Regina rattles on as she paces back and forth.

"Whoa...hold on...what's this about. I thought we already went over this." The blonde fairy puts a hand out to stop Regina's pacing as it's making her dizzy.

"I know..but it has to be wrong. Since getting my memory back, my feelings toward Robin have changed, things between us were different during that missing year, and I have...had other attachments before I met him..and I ...errr.." Regina sits on the bed, running both hands through her hair, then looking up at the ceiling.

"The pixie dust never lies. It's magic, it led you to that tavern, the lion tattoo, your soulmate. I don't understand why you can't believe that."

"But that was like over 30 years ago! A lifetime. Even you said, back in Neverland that when I walked away I had not only changed my fate but his. He later met Marion, had a child, was happy...till I possibly had her captured and executed..."

"Wait...what?..whoa..hold on, you killed her...wait never mind, I forgot who you were." Tink's eyes were wide as she sat next to Regina.

"Well he says he doesn't know for sure, never found out the truth, and I sure as hell don't remember her. I killed so many, but even if I hadn't, this,...he and I...I just am not feeling that connection now. I have had images and thoughts all night and I just, I..am just so confused right now. But couldn't it possibly be that the dust was wrong? If Robin was my soulmate, I should feel it no matter how long it was right...and not for...em..? I mean, if it was true love and all...right?" With a pleading look, the dark haired woman stares at Tinkerbell.

Standing up, Tink moves off as she bites her fingernail. "I..I guess it could possibly have mislead, I mean I suppose if your true soulmate was not in that realm or even that time, it could possibly just take you to the closest person with the same traits and qualities. Not that I ever heard of that happening." Tink realizes something that Regina said, or rather didn't say, and turns, her eyes wide and gleaming. "You know who it is! They are here...! Who is it..! You have to tell me!" She rushes back over.

"Noo...no...I...no...I don't know that they are...I just meant, I ….have feelings for...err...someone and it's not Robin. They don't even know how I feel, I can't tell them. Besides they deserve much better than me..and" mumbling "that leather clad, ruffian."

Tink thinks, "Who?" Then bounces excitedly. " Oh...wait! You...and...Emma? OMG...The Evil Queen and the Savior...it's...perfect!

Regina rushes and grabs Tink by the shoulders. "NO! You can't mention this to her...please. She loves Hook, even if I think he is wrong for her, I won't destroy her happiness. I am out of that business for good...as much as I like to destroy that one handed, worthless piece...of ..."

Tinkerbell just collapses on the bed, laughing. "You are soooooo in love...OMG! Girl, you got to tell her! I know Hook. Remember I spent a few years on Neverland with the scoundrel. Please promise me you will talk to her! What can you loose?"

"Look I told you, she doesn't deserve a washed up evil Queen, who has caused her family, as well as Emma, a lot of misery over the years. I just wanted to discuss with you the possibility of that pixie dust being wrong. I am satisfied that I made the right decision to end it with Robin, least it was amicably. Do not... and I MEAN DO NOT..for any reason tell Emma. If...and IF I do have a chat with our Sheriff, it will be when I am ready...but I am not promising anything. Got it?" Regina gives the blonde pixie her best death stare.

"Yea..yea...I got it, and don't think you scare me with that look, you pussy cat," laughs Tink, as she opens the door for Regina. "I look forward to seeing you two hand in hand." Tink winks as Regina grumbles and heads down the stairs.

Upon exiting the B&B, she once more gets in her car and heads off. Unsure of where, so she just slowly drives down the street, lost in thought. When she finally shakes off her hazy thoughts, Regina realizes she is down by the pier. As she parks, thinking 'I have conquered a kingdom, I should be able to have a conversation with Emma' the object of her thoughts is spied sitting on a bench in the distance. Regina, sucks in air, building up confidence to exit the car, when she see the one person she did NOT want to see, stride cockily toward the blonde. 'Damn that pirate!', Regina slams her hands on the steering wheel, then clenches her fist, as a little smoldering of fire appears. "Just wish he give me one really good, or not so good reason to fireball his ass." Looking down, she sees the magic forming, and quickly extinguishes the fire. 'I can't let my emotions get to me like this. He is not worth loosing Emma's trust' thinks Regina. She should just leave, but it's like her sub-conscience is trying to torment her, as she is frozen, watching...