Disclaimer: Everything except for the festival belongs to Nintendo.
"Oscar, I need to have a word with you!"
Everyone in the Mess Tent who was in range of hearing immediately rolled their eyes as a soldier with bright, red armor, the same color as his hair, appeared through the tent flaps with long, dramatic strides. After hearing the Crimean knight trying to convince Oscar to rejoin the Crimean army after the war was over time and time again as the party moved through the Daien land on their way to the Crimean border, they had gotten pretty sick of it.
Kieran ignored the looks and continued his way through the tables to the green-haired mercenary busy in the kitchen.
Oscar looked up when Kieran was about ten feet away, smiled, and said, cheerfully, "Hello, Kieran. Have you had lunch yet?"
"Don't change the subject," The furious knight said, poking Oscar in the collarbone. "You should know very well why I'm here.
Oscar sighed and set down the tray he was carrying, "To try and make me rejoin the Crimean ranks. Look Kieran, I already said..."
The green-haired knight trailed off in shock when Kieran burst out laughing.
"Although that is tempting, that's not why I'm here."
Kieran smacked on a serious face and put his hands on his hips, "Word around camp is that you haven't been preparing for the Sillikamushufilliobob Festival."
The reaction in the Beorcs around the tent was immediate. People gasped and whispered frantically to each other. The only two Laguz in the tent at the moment were Prince Reyson and Janaff, who exchanged confused glances.
"The what?" Reyson asked Janaff in his lyrical voice.
Janaff shrugged and said, "Never heard of it."
The two looked up as Boyd stood up and cried, "Oscar! Is this true?"
Next to Boyd, Rolf had tears welling up in his eyes, "Brother, how could you?"
Oscar had gone very pale. He backed up against the wall of the tent, as if trying to make himself as small as possible. His squinting eyes glanced quickly around the tent.
"I-Is it today? I thought it started tonight. I..."
"You forgot when it started!" Mia yelled in disbelief.
"Oh dear..."
Reyson turned to the white-robed figure beside him. Rhys was clutching at his heart and he looked as though he were hyperventilating. "How could he have forgotten."
"It's all right, Rhys, it's alright," Titania put her arm around the healers shoulders, barely restraining her tears.
Kieran advanced on Oscar again, "Well, what have you got to say for yourself, you scoundrel."
"I-I..." Oscar was beginning to look like a cornered mouse as several people stood up and barred him from escape. "I really didn't mean to...it's just...I...How in Ashera's name did you find out!"
Reyson had had just about enough. He looked at Zihark over Janaff's light-brown hair and said, "Zihark, what is this Silli- what's-it Festival?"
The swordsman blinked out of his scandalized expression and returned the heron's gaze.
"You mean you don't know? Well, I guess you wouldn't need to. The Laguz don't celebrate like the Beorcs do."
Zihark settled back into his chair like an old man about to tell a story even when his grand kids were spreading chaos around him.
"It all started back in the days of Grand Master Filliobob the 23rd. One day, a dairy farmer came up to him, saying that a pack of wild platypuses were invading his strawberry fields and that he wanted government aid to help him be rid of the menace. Filliobob agreed to help on the stance that the strawberry farmers crops were the only ones that would be coming in that harvest because the platypuses had already struck the rest of the countryside."
Reyson blinked and nodded, but he still looked at Janaff to see if the hawk was making any sense of the story. According to the mystified look he was receiving, the hawk wasn't.
"All of the master's soldiers marched to the field, where for three two days, they gave battle to the platypuses in what is now called, the "Battle of the Platypuses."
Zihark stopped for a moment and put his hand over his heart, his eyes getting moist as if he was touched.
"The battle was fierce, but at the end, those brave, brave men were victorious. The strawberries were harvested successfully. In honor of the soldiers, every Beorc around the world celebrates the anniversary of the battle by having a two day Sillikamushufilliobob Festival of utter nonsense, and whenever someone fails to prepare accordingly, it is considered BLASPHEMY!"
At the last word, Zihark stood up and pointed at Oscar fiercely.
"Grab him!"
This exclamation was met well by every person within earshot (except for Reyson and Janaff, who were still looking very bewildered) and soon the cornered green-haired knight was overwhelmed by a surge of outraged Beorc.
When the confusion cleared, Reyson was slightly horrified to see that they had completely tied Oscar up into a green bundle and had gagged him.
"Alright, everyone outside. We must commence the purification process!" Reyson was shocked to see that it had been the company's own General Ike who had exclaimed that last.
Oscar was now looking at his captors with a mixture of apology and hopelessness written all over his face. Boyd and Brom hoisted him up, but just as the crowd was about to make it's way out of the tent, Mia cried out, pointing at Kieran, "Hold it! Isn't it customary for the condemning scumbag to be punished as well?"
The smirk that Kieran had been sporting immediately disappeared to be replaced by a look of terror. He backed up as someone screamed, "Grab him, too!"
The red-colored knight was also tied up and gagged. As the group marched out of the tent carrying their struggling charges, Ike called out over his shoulder, "And don't forget the poisonous-sea-urchin-ice-cream!
Reyson and Janaff were left alone. Janaff was the first to break the silence, "Where do you think they got sea urchins? We're nowhere near water!"
"I don't know," Reyson began, standing up, "But I want to know more about this Silly-mumaball contest...thing. It's too weird to pass up."
With that, Reyson took the hawk's arm and led him out of the tent after the crowd.
A/N: I don't know what I was thinking, really. I just really wanted to write something funny, and well... I'm sorry Oscar! I love you! Oh and you too Kieran...I guess. Pats them both on the head and gives them Twinkies. I may continue this. I've got two days of festivities to cover if you want me to, so GIVE ME FEEDBACK!
