" It happened awhile back now. When i figured out everything." The blond starts as he stares down at the ground below. " Arthur...all i wanted was you to... to just love me. Not be in love with me. " Sniffles and looks to the side. " I know you love Yao now. Since i hurt you so bad a few months ago. " Looks up and holds up his hand reaching up, his arm raising slowly into the air. " But now, now all i get is hate for the pain i caused you. No matter how sorry I've felt. I let my anger chooses my actions for me."

Tears fall down his paled, tan tinted skin, sparkling al the way down till they hit the ground, soaking into it. Alfred looks down, hand dropping to his side " I pushed you away as i watched you move on, moving from me. Every time i took a step forward to try to stabilize and get things back to what they once were, or something close to it. You being happy with another made my anger grow stronger, resenting how happy you could be. While i died inside just for a chance to have you smile at me once more. But as i waited for the day you would. Distant was all that i could see. When i looked at you. " Clenching his fists at his side. Alfred let tears pour down for a moment trying to stop them but more continued to poor as he did. " You and Yao, you seem much happier without me. It angers me... and you do not understand why. "

The American hiccups" You tell me ' You aren't a hero!' ' Don't be a cry baby!' ' You are selfish' whenever i cry... have i no right to cry. When i look to the only person i can to be the one person i can trust to show my true self. " closes his eyes and shakes his head " Today, when i tried to speak to you. You, i asked for your help. Since the incident has got worse and worse. People keep dying of illness all around. You turned to me saying ' Alfred, the best thing for you do now, is nothing.' so coldly. " Pausing he bit his lip and turned his head to the left. " I am the hero, i must do something though. Anything to save these people from this terrible sickness. " Gulping the blond opened his eyes a little more. The tears dripping from them, falling.

He lifted is arm and wiped at his nose, shaking his head, the tears slowing at the moment as he laughed" But what hurt me the most. While we were getting in anther argument. I said for you to ' be the change you want to see' you only care about how grey things are though, disregard my words, ignore me, then said ' if i were to live the change i want to seem i would have killed you when this started, when you started this' " blinking his blue eyes tearing up " I try to put on a brave face for the world. They need someone strong to look to for protection. That seemed to fall on me. I...at least i thought it had. I felt like it had. I wanted it to. I wanted to be every ones hero. " turns looking to the left and then looking behind him. Alfred turned with a sigh " If i could be the one that let people be free and live the lives they wished to live, and be good to others. I would have been happy. "

"Nobody should be forced to live under someone else foot. that is no life to live. " runs a hand through his hair " I finally cured it, i fixed what i broke though. Thanks to your help. The illness is slowly, but gradually disappearing from the lands. " Glancing up Alfred smiled " You are still a very special person to me. My best friend. Even if, now ...you still hate me. For all the wrongs i have done to you. For all the hate i cast on you... I...i just wanted you to be happy. I just wanted to be friends still. I've always hated fighting with you, to where sometimes when i go home. I cry myself to sleep, regretting all the hurtful things I've ever said to you. " laughs lightly " Even during the revolution. I thought ..if ...if i hurt you really badly... that you would die never knowing how much i still loved you... not that i thought i could, nor would i ever, kill you. But if by accident i had. ... I would have followed you..."

"Just to hold your hand and beg for forgiveness. " His eyes begin watering as he looked away, jaw setting a bit " But now,... you wish death on me and do not even show a sign of wishing you would take those words back. So... " reaching behind his back he grabbed the handle of a gun and removed it from his belt. Bring it to his lap " I... i can live in a world where i' m not the hero. Where...after constant taunting and, several attempts to hurt me..." pausing he lifted the gun to his temple " After all the criticism and bashing... I am a strong man Arthur. " narrows his eyes at a camera " But... Even strong men break, when the pressure becomes to great for them to handle. With no hand to help guide them through it. Everyone eventually succumbs to the feeling of hopelessness. You can often times drag your mutilated body from the dept of despair."

" But a hand, your hand, was all i wanted to keep me thinking that...YA...this world is still a great place to be. But the last straw...the last break in in the wall of my mind. Was your withdrawal from me. " Glares standing and walking over to the camera" You are a horrible person to ever be loved by anyone. You are... you really are. But ... my heart breaks thinking you could love Yao more than I. What does he have that i do not. Yao is a good man, usually. But... he robbed you from me. Improperly. You just up and left me. Broken, alone and dragging my name through the bloody muddy trail of bodies you two leave behind in your path to being together. Why do you call it love. It's not love! " looks down bringing a shaking hand to his mouth " you guys do not show love, not to each other, nor the people you hurt on your bloodbath to happiness. Japan pines for Yao's love, but only receives annoyance and anger back."

"He sliced your back. Wah, get over it. You do not need to treat him like shit when he tries to apologize. Blowing him off like he was never anything to you. You loved him once. What changed in you so much, that you had to Corrupt Arthur with your ways. " Looks down pushing the camera over " We were fine... rocky...slept together every now and again, had an on off relationship... then you walked in one day. Seduced him and ...change him. " standing his feet are all that can be seen between the camera now. Alfred's blond hair blew slightly over his face in the wind " You changed him into you. Yao. That was what pisses me off the most. Instead of dealing with one bastard who lives only for his own happiness. The person i loved the most in this world. Became a person. That i am still trying my damnedest to understand, in a matter of days. My Iggy was gone, he became Arthur... who wishes me dead any chance he gets. When i cry, he calls me selfish... when i am really hurting. "

Like i deserve no rights to be upset. No matter the situation we are in. I do not deserve to cry, or i am selfish? When did you start thinking this way about me? You call me fat more than usual, and actually MEAN IT! Where is my Iggy and ...and what is this Alien that has replaced him ... " throws up his arms and then lets them fall to his sides. The gun hitting his leg. Alfred shakes his head " I do not know what to do any more Arthur... i just do... not This mask I've hidden behind. That believes i can carry out so much...and that i am the happiest person in the world. Cracked with each harmful statement you made. Each death wish you screamed at me. All of them being truly from heart, no regret on your face of what pain that causes me to hear you mean things you are actually saying about me now. " Gripping his shirt" Iggy... I will do one last Selfish thing for you... " Raising his other arm, gun in hand he presses it deep against his temple " I will take my life... and let you live yours... After all, nobody wants. Or needs me here... right..." grins at the fallen camera " Do not bother with my body. It's taken care of... "

" Keep the tape. To remember me by...or burn it. Whatever Yao tells you to do...That's what you've done lately anyway... and i mean this. I hate the new you. I will be joining my Arthur, My Iggy, my brother...the man i loved from the moment i first hugged him, to our last kiss... I will only truly love that man. Not anyone else. Even the same man, as a wolf in sheepish clothing, you do my Arthur no good deeds being alive, destroying his name. " the gun fires and a loud thud can be heard the camera getting knocked a bit before being followed by silence. The view of the bright blue sky turning from day, tonight suddenly. The tape being stopped.

Arthur stared at the TV screen. Green eyes dried and unmoving. He stands up and glares" What is this! another one of his stupid Jokes? " Rubs his temples" He is just being a baby! Selfish prick. I am sure the bastard is just hiding out some where. Hoping to get some sad reaction out of me. " Eyebrow twitching Arthur paces the living room " Fucking idiot is taking it a bit far. I never said any of those things. I was kind to him. " glares at the man who delivered the message " Who had you send this. They Most likely know where he is hiding out at. He is going to get hit so hard, this childlike behavior has gone on long enough. "

Turns as Yao walks down stares running a hand through his hair and staring dully at Arthur. Arthur stops and stares up at Yao. Yao blinks and makes a sly face at Arthur from the stares" Aren't you a bit eager today. Aru~" walking down to the other. Alfred holds up a hand and then places his finger to the bridge of his nose" Not now Yao, Alfred is throwing a fit because i angrily told him to die...the other day." Yao blinked " Why did you say that? Aru... You know how much it pisses him off. He starts accusing me of robbing you. " Stretches and yawns turning away " Tea? " Arthur nodded a little " He did blame you, that is no mistake. Bloody idiot. He just needs to get on with it and except us being together. Really now. He doesn't need to be placing blame on you. " Yao turned to Arthur and grinned running as hand along the others jaw and into Arthur's hair" But he is a stupid boy. Aru."

"That is how he is going to vent when his mommy is the one who's causing this anger. " Leans over nibbling on Arthur's lips and smirks" Though... i cannot say i am not completely innocent... " Walks his fingers up the others chest. He looks away " I did not hide the fact we often slept together at nights. Nor did you, Aru." shrugging he turns and slides his hand down the others arm before grabbing Arthur's hand and leading him to the kitchen. Looking back " Let the brat have his fit. While it's not messing up our moment now. Let's keep his antics from our minds, hm? Aru~ " lets go of the others hand as he enters the kitchen and moves to go make tea. Arthur sits at the table and sighs rubbing his chest and then smiles" Yeah, he just makes me feel so tired when he does this shit. Hmm." he narrows his green eyes at the table as he thinks. Something was not right this time though.

Frowning he crosses his arms over his chest "Tch...That guy... going to do my head in. I swear. Jumping on me and you just because he cannot get over us. Even if we ignore it. He just shows up at the door with in the our, Fucking idiot. Give it an hour. You will see. He will be whining, pissing and moaning till we let him in, then ruin our somewhat peaceful days like usual. " grumbles and Yao walks over narrowing his eyes at the other " That boy was always a monster. Why you had not thrown him in a bag and tossed him in the lake when he was young. I do not know. Aru." Says coldly glancing around with a pissed off air about him. Because, though he had asked Arthur to stop talking about it.

Arthur continued to " Like that brat of mine. I loved my family once. But they were spoiled and once they found their legs. They wanted nothing more to do with me. Aru. Japan came back to stab me as the last insult. That boy... there is nothing that can be done to save him. Aru... " blinks a bit in irritation before sitting and smiling at Arthur" Shall we go for a walk later today? Fresh air would do some good. Arthur shook his head and then nods" Yeah, we can do that Yao."


This is just something Random i decided to throw together while bored and thinking of something that's has happened between me and some good Roleplay friends i have. But lately, whether true or not, I've felt certain key traits of their characters have changed, from my point of view anyways. They seem quite content with their characters, eh, what am i to do. But i have some frustrations with their depictions of the characters with these new, somewhat selfish and often times horrid to RP with, portraits. Eh, but it's just my opinion on the matter and only happens sometimes during each RP we've done. some can be quite decent, others it's like our characters are like cats and dogs in alligator pit filled with Acid. heh. Anyways. i don't hate the Yao X Arthur pairing in any way. It's just that this is the only pairing besides Arthur X Alfred that has happened in our small group, and it's been a bit negative in the way it was brought about. But this part is only to describe the emotions behind this random whatever you wish to call it. That i've written up. My personal feelings through writing that i just needed to vent out before my head exploded. Nothing personal, or at least, no attempts to attack anyone or something. Just thoughts...maybe i'm just over thinking things, lol.

I own Nothing, it's late now. Leave comments if you wish. Just don't flame or whatever. I'm out, cya~

~K. L. E. H. M Knight.