A/N: Hello guys, this is my first ever fan fiction story and I would appreciate it if u gave me some feedback on whether I should continue. I will admit i'm not the best at writing and constructive criticism is welcomed otherwise I crave your support and comments on whether it is bad or good so I know whether to continue it. I have a general idea of where it is going to go but if anyone had any ideas they are welcome. Also I would like your vote on whether this story should be an Mpreg later on, so vote away! So read away and please review!

PS: Brian is kind of OC because this is how I would have liked him to be at the end of season 5 and for Justin to accept it.

CHAPTER 1: Justin's eyes suddenly opened in the darkness of his small apartment. He could hear his roommate snoring in the room next door. He looked at his alarm clock on his bedroom stand. The bright red numbers glowed, 4:00am. Justin hadn't had much sleep that night, like most nights his eyes just wouldn't close. Since he had moved to New York 2 months ago the best night's sleep he had got was when he first arrived, and that was induced by jet lag. Every night there was only one thing on his mind. Brian. Every day, he wondered if he should have come to New York to pursue his art career. He knew that Brian had wanted him to go but still... His art career was only part of his life and he didn't feel complete without Brian. He rolled over to his bedside table and turned his phone on. The bright light hurt his eyes, after he adjusted to the brightness of his phone, he looked at a picture of Brian and himself that Lindsey had took when they both arrived at her house for lunch. It was his favourite picture of them both, they both looked so young, innocent and without a care in the world. Happy. He looked through the rest of his pictures that night most of them were of Brian, some of his art, some of himself and friends. He came to the very last picture it was of Brian and himself at their rehearsal dinner, in suits ready for their wedding. He could remember that day and night so clearly. Where they told each other they loved each other, when they told their friends the wedding was off, their last time they were together and the day he left Pittsburgh. Justin's eyes glistened with unshed tears, he quickly blinked them away when the picture began to blur. He whispered,
'I love you'
then drifted off to sleep with the phone in his hands, the picture still alight...

Brian awoke with a pounding headache. His night had been full of events. He got out of his bed and got a glass of water. He took a sip and started to massage his temples. He walked over to his chaise lounge chair just out of direct sunlight but so he still got the warmth off the sun's rays. He lay back and tried to recall last night. He remembered meeting Mikeyy, Ted, Emmet and their significant others at the front of Babylon. He remembered the pang in his heart when he arrived there alone, especially since everyone else came with their husbands or boyfriends. He remembered standing at the bar alone, while watching his friends dance with their partners, he remembered missing Justin so much that he decided to get rid of the pain by drinking and uncountable amount of alcohol and getting high. He was now feeling the effects. He sat up out of his chair and trundled over to the kitchen cupboard to grab an aspirin. He swallowed the pill with ease and lent on the kitchen worktop, thinking about one thing and one thing only. Justin. He regretted every day not telling Justin he loved him from the start. He regretted every day that he didn't marry Justin. He regretted every day letting Justin go... He decided to get some work done to put his mind of Justin. He turned his computer on; he raised an eyebrow and wondered why it was off as he never usually turns it off. The screensaver lit up and Brian then knew why. The same picture that Justin loved and the one that Lindsey took of them both was on his computer screen. He stared at the picture intently, each second it brang new and more painful memories. A tear ran down his cheek and he whispered,
'I miss you'
He regained composure, quickly wiped the tear away and slammed the computer off. He angrily got up from his computer and walked over to his bedroom and collapsed onto his bed, he pulled the sheets over his jeans and then his bare chest. He buried his face into his pillow and his eyes clamped shut, he fell asleep easily and dreamed about Justin.