AHH.
It sucks. D:
But I like the beginning :D
I PROMISE, later chapters will be much better [:
Can u figure out who Kenny's girl is? ;D
Chapter One: Marjorine's List
Kenny McCormick reached into the plastic jar and grabbed a handful of coins. He had no idea how much their value was or what they said on them. They were old, rusted Romanian ones he had been keeping since he was eight. The blonde had often thought of selling them, they must have become quite valuable over the years, but he never really had the guts. They were kind of like a symbol that represented the one time in his life when he was truly happy. The one time in his life when people liked him, they appreciated him, and neither of his parents were drinking.
He placed ten or eleven of the coins into his palm and one by one, pushed them all out with his thumb. By the time there was only three left in his hand, Kenny let two of them escape in between his ring finger and pinky. Looking at his ring finger made him think of Tammy, and she made him think of Kelly. They were the only girls in the world willing to be with Kenny for reasons other than sex. Just then, his little sister, Karen entered.
"Kenny, a girl's here for you."
"A girl? Who?"
"I don't know, but you probably shouldn't bring her in. Mom and Dad are pretty wasted."
Kenny stared at his sister in admiration. For someone growing up in a family like this, she was so tolerant and sweet. At least, that's what he thought. "Thanks, Karen." He said, shuffling his hand through her dirty blonde hair. Kenny loved his sister. In fact, she was the only reason he hadn't already offed himself. That and the fact he would just return a week later.
As he approached the door, he wondered who it could be. It could have even been... no. Why would she even talk to someone like Kenny McCormick? Could it be Tammy? Or Kelly? He could see blonde hair through his dirty peep-hole. Kelly! It had to be! He quickly opened the door with a big grin on his face, but it disappeared once he opened the door. A petite, blonde figure stood at the door with her hair in loose pigtails.
"What the hell, Butters?!" Kenny said angrily, regretting ever getting his hopes up.
"April fools!" He said, grinning. The other boys immerged from behind the McCormick pick-up truck. Kenny was very displeased.
"Hey, Kenny, we were gonna go play a prank on all the chicks. You wanna come?" Eric Cartman offered. All the boys were amazed how much he had grown into his weight. Now that he was 6"4, it hardly mattered that he weighed 190 pounds.
"Sure." Kenny said shrugging. At least they had cared enough to ask if he wanted to come along.
The guys all hopped into the back of Craig's dad's pickup truck, except for Craig, who drove, Tweek, who sat in the passanger seat, and Butters, who was sitting on Tweek's lap. Butters had insisted upon sitting in the front, as his hair would get messed up otherwise. Tweek was always with Craig, and there were rumors going around that they were gay. Some people even gave them the nickname: Creek.
Kenny looked around the backseat to see all the other guys. They had all changed so much. Kyle had had his afro chemically straightened, and looked much better. After breaking up with Wendy Testaburger in Grade Six, and it was rumoured that Stan Marsh was gay and had a crush on his life-long best friend, Kyle, but he had denied all rumors. He was straight. He just...wasn`t interested in a relationship. Cartman whipped out a cheeseburger and took a big bite out of it. His personality had changed a lot since he started dating Heidi Turner in sophomore year. He finally had emotions (Other than anger and hatred). Thank God Heidi wasn`t one of the girls they would be pranking.
"Who are we praking?" Kenny asked the other guys.
"We`re on our way to Bebe`s." Craig called from the front seat. `Apparently, Annie, Rebecca, Millie, Sally, and Wendy are over.
Kenny gasped. "Wendy?"
"Yeah." Craig said. "Why do you care?"
"Well....I was just wondering how you were gonna pull one over on her. She's smart."
"Wendy's pretty smart, but Kyle's smarter." Stan remarked, winking at Kyle.
"Oh, go get a hotel room, fags." Cartman yelled. He still hated Stan and Kyle more than anything.
"Shut up, Fat-ass!"
"I'm not fat, I'm TALL!"
"More like a giant. With the weight to go with it."
"SCREW YOU, FAGS." The trunk of the beat-up truck became quiet. The next one to speak was Cartman. "But, dudes, Stan's got the right idea. We're GUYS. We can effin' out think them."
"Dumb girls!" Butters shouted from the front.
Kenny scoffed. "So what's the plan?"
"Basically a remake of the Marjorine plan, but way better." Cartman responded.
The rugged, greasy-haired blonde chuckled. "And they won't suspect anything!" He said sarcasticly.
"Shut up, its actually a good plan. Remember that list that the girls faked nine years ago?"
"How could I? Except for Token and Stan, I was ahead of all of you guys." He bragged.
"GAH!" Tweek shouted. "I was only one below you, and the list was forged. I could have been ahead of you."
"Guess we'll never know" Kenny said.
"GAHH!! THAT IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE!" He said, sipping coffee from his thermos.
"GUYS!" Cartman was getting impatient. "Just listen to the Goddamn plan! So Marjorine here has moved back to South Park, and comes to visit."
"What?" Kyle asked.
"LISTEN! So, he's gonna tell them that Marjorine and Butters are cousins, and tells them that Butters told her that the BOYS have a list rating the GIRL'S LOOKS."
"You dumb-ass!" Stan protested. "They won't believe that. Wendy and I went further into the list and found out all we could. After knowing all that, you think that she's gonna fall for it?"
"Well, what's your idea, Stan? Oh, you don't have one? That's too bad. Kyle, you have an idea? How about you, Kenny? Clyde? Craig? Anybody? No. This is our best bet, guys."
"Well, I think its a good idea, Eric!" Butters exclaimed. "I mean.. number eleven? They deserve it! You got the fake list?"
"Yeah, right here." Cartman said, holding up a dirty piece of lined paper.
Kenny grabbed it. He quickly scanned it. "What the fuck, Cartman? Why is Wendy at the bottom?"
"Who's first?" Token asked.
Kenny scoffed. "Heidi. Cartman, you can't put your fucking girlfriend at the top, and one of the hottest girls at school at the very bottom." He said.
"Lemme see this!" Kyle said, as he snatched the list from Kenny's hands and scanned it carefully.
"So, what, now Heidi's ugly?"
"No, but you can't fucking do that!"
"I don't care. Wendy's a bitch. And since when is she one of the hottest girls in school?"
"Whoa, you think Wendy's hot, Ken?" Craig asked.
"Of course not! She's Stan's ex, for God's sake. I just think she shouldn't go on the bottom."
"Okay, Cartman, let's just re-write it. Plus, Patty Nelson shouldn't be anywhere near the top five, let alone number two." Kyle advised, with his eyes still glued to the peice of paper.
"Fine, assholes." Cartman was pissed, but he guessed Wendy didn't have to be near the bottom. After all, he had a thing for her a few years ago.
Kenny sighed. That was a close one. They almost figured out his secret. Almost.
