Simon's Revenge Just a waning fic contains rape/ nonconcensual sex

Thanks to everyone who has stuck around to the completion despite the long wait. Also a big thanks, to my beta readers Oparu and Sally couldn't have done it without them.

Chapter One

John sighed happily, a feeling of contentment filling him. He leaned on the railing taking in the peaceful atmosphere of the control room beneath him, something the residents of Atlantis didn't have in abundance. Often her people were battle weary, finding themselves once again having to defend Atlantis against an enemy, whose goal was to either destroy Atlantis, or to take her as their own and in the process, enslaving the brave people who'd fought hard to protect her.

He thought back to their arrival in the Pegasus Galaxy. 'Had they all held the same expectations? Had anyone thought of the many horrors that awaited them?' Some he knew came drawn by the thought of adventure and excitement of the unknown. Others wanting to leave behind the rat race, life on earth had become. All of them had been aware of one major factor: the high probability that it was a one way trip.

Their existence had been threatened as soon as they'd emerged on Atlantis. First, by the city itself until she majestically arose out of her murky grave, coming to rest on the ocean surface. Then, they had awoken their deadliest enemy, the Wraith. The repercussions still haunted them.

The grave situations they frequently stumbled across, far from destroying them, instead made them stronger. Their main purpose became protecting Atlantis at all cost.

It had been a joint effort. John however, realised the path they'd taken would've been far rockier if it hadn't been for the dedication of their expedition leader Dr Elizabeth Weir. Her leadership and diplomatic expertise had enabled them, on many occasions to emerge from a potently lethal situation unscathed.

John felt a personal gratitude for her. If it hadn't been for Elizabeth seeing something in him worth redeeming, he would've been left buried in Antarctica with little hope of a transfer never mind promotion. She had given him the means to save himself, a purpose in life.

It had taken some time for them to develop the trust that now existed between them, but develop it had. This was due to Elizabeth's willingness to listen to his arguments and not turn them down without discussing the reasons why.

John, in turn, had wanted to give something back. Although still reckless, it was this that often saved Atlantis from many of the dangers that threatened. There grew within him a strong loyalty to Atlantis and her people and he would give his life to protect them if needed.

It was Elizabeth who stole his heart, though, as he found feelings and emotions stirring; ones thought to have been long buried and forgotten. At first it was only a strong need for her friendship, then needing to protect her and ensure her safety, both on Atlantis and on off world expeditions. Gradually, though, these feeling changed from ones of friendship, into something much deeper. He fought against this, afraid it would spoil their friendship if Elizabeth found out; never contemplating she felt the same way about him.

A heart wrenching experience had exposed Elizabeth's well hidden vulnerability. In the safety of his arms, she had bared her heart to him, allowing all her fears and uncertainties to escape unchecked.

He heaved a sigh; what lay ahead for them all rested on Elizabeth's reaction tomorrow. He had everything planned to perfection, now it was down to her- please let her say the words I'm longing to hear.

He was brought back from his thoughts with a bang. Groaning with irritation, he tapped his earpiece. "Yes McKay I can hear you and no I haven't forgotten we've a meeting in five minutes. I'm on my way now."

Casting a fleeting glance back at Elizabeth's office, he smirked at the appealing look she threw him. Someone had just contacted her via her ear piece 'probably Rodney.' He thought. 'He never could take no for an answer.' Oh John would have a few choice words, if it were him. Elizabeth had adamantly stated she didn't have time to come and see Rodney's newest discovery.


Weir taped her pen on the desk, irritated. With all the technology they had acquired, why couldn't they find something that would make this tedious task easier? Completing the time consuming, but necessary, mission reports was a mind-numbing task.

Sighing, she realised she'd allowed herself to become easily distracted over the past week, more often than not due to a certain Colonel Sheppard. It was so easy to forget she had work to attend to, when he was breathing warm air sensually down the back of her neck, or pleading with her with his puppy dog eyes. It wouldn't be so bad, if she didn't have to keep chasing him for his own reports, but as always, he found some means of wriggling out of completing them.

This time though, she couldn't lay all the blame at Sheppard's door. He may have been the instigator, but she'd allowed herself to get distracted with very little persuasion on his part. Well after all, these feelings were still new, still exciting and the need to be with John far exceeded the need to fill in boring reports; there was plenty of time for that. Only, that time was about to run out with the imminent arrival of Colonel Caldwell. Now she was really depressed. The Colonel's visits always had her on edge. At first it had merely been his frequent criticism. He'd made it crystal clear from the very beginning, how strong his objections were to Atlantis being lead by a Diplomat, who was non military and a woman to boot.

His antagonism had increased since John's promotion to Military Leader of Atlantis. It was well known he saw the position as his, so to lose it to Sheppard had been a devastating blow. To have it snatched from under his nose was bad enough. For it to be someone with Sheppard's record had further angered him and he never failed to make the two leaders aware of the fact.

Elizabeth frowned, the implications of Caldwell ever finding out their secret was indescribable. It would provide the ammunition he longed for; a means of removing them and getting himself installed on Atlantis. For the good of Atlantis, this could not be allowed to happen.

It was imperative that they didn't behave in a way that would arouse his suspicions. The only way of doing that, was to maintain a working relationship whilst Caldwell was in the vicinity. It wasn't easy for them, but they both agreed it was the only way.

Cold shivers run down her spine at the thought of being caught. Elizabeth was under no false pretence; the result of that discovery would be her removal from Atlantis and summoned back to earth in disgrace. The thought of saying farewell to her beloved city and her people, took her breath away. She couldn't allow that to happen to John either; Atlantis depended on him and would falter without his leadership. She couldn't deny Caldwell was a good soldier, but he lacked the compassion and the leadership qualities needed to run Atlantis as it should.

Her thoughts drifted back to John as she compared the two men. A smile grew, lighting up her face, as she thought back to the awakening of her feelings. She remembered the exact moment she'd realised what she felt for John went far deeper than just mere friendship and she had gasped in astonishment. The cold and aloof Dr Weir, as she was perceived by others, had fallen madly in love with her second in command.

She'd tried so hard to keep it hidden and probably would've succeeded, if it weren't for John's own awakened feelings and an ill fated mission. Her mind went back to that day, remembering it as if were yesterday...

Flashback

Her expertise and skills as a diplomat had been paramount in securing a treaty, on a world where food supplies were in abundance. The people of the planet were extremely nervous, but it looked as if everything was proceeding well, until another group of people arrived and recognised the Atlanteans as being responsible for the awakening of the wraith.

After that things had swiftly deteriorated, resulting in the Atlanteans having to battle their way back to the stargate, with casualties on both sides. Elizabeth, in her haste to flee, had fallen and badly sprained her ankle. Lorne and his men, so caught up in the struggle, were unaware of her injury and subsequent vulnerability. The hiss of pain she unwittingly released, immediately drew the attention of a young warrior. He was so consumed with hate, he gave no thought to the fact Elizabeth was unarmed. She looked at him, her expression full of horror, helpless as his gun was raised and pointed directly at her.

From this distance, Elizabeth knew there was no chance of him missing. Strangely, as he levelled his gun and his finger moved to the trigger, in that surreal moment it wasn't fear she felt, but a strange calmness.

As Elizabeth closed her eyes, awaiting the fatal shot, she was suddenly knocked face first into the dirt. She struggled, panic stricken and pinned down, only she couldn't tell by what. There was an immense pressure on her ribs and she struggled to breath, but just as she felt the darkness closing in, the weight was suddenly gone and she was free.

She looked up when a pair of hands appeared and gave a watery smile of relief as she saw Lorne standing above her. One of his men, who was crouched over something to the side of Elizabeth, gave a silent nod as if to confirm something. Something in the men's closed expressions sent a wave of fear down her spine and she turned round sharply, ignoring Lorne's warning shout. An anguished cry gurgled in Elizabeth's throat as she saw the dying soldier only a few feet away, recognising him as one of the soldiers recently appointed to Atlantis. This was in fact his first off world mission and Elizabeth remembered the excitement and awe in his eyes during yesterday's briefing. Now he lay in the throes of death. She sunk down on her knees beside him, gently lifting his hand. As he struggled between life and death he looked at Elizabeth and smiled "Atlantis needs you." His voice trailed off as he exhausted the last of his strength. Elizabeth cried softly, grief stricken. His hand became limp and his face relaxed as he left life behind, to become another casualty in their fight for survival.

Their enemy, normally peace loving people who had attacked out of grief, stopped their attack and gradually fell back. The young warrior, who had threatened Dr Weir, had done so in a moment of insanity, hearing only the screams of his parents and young sister as they were taken by the wraith. He wanted to avenge their deaths and who better to suffer, than the person he saw as being responsible for the awakening of the wraith? The warriors now retreated into the thick undergrowth, leaving the Atlanteans to return to Atlantis with their dead and wounded.

On their return, Elizabeth had drawn in on herself as guilt and regret consumed her. She felt she was to blame for the young soldier's premature death. With her diplomatic experience, she felt she should've noticed something amiss with their guests; somehow picked up the fact they were grieving. She mentally punished herself for what she felt was an unforgivable error and carelessness. No matter how many times everyone assured her she wasn't to blame; she refused to accept it and instead became quiet and withdrawn. So much so that Carson concerned for her welfare and ailing health, had insisted she be admitted to the infirmary. His concern for her overrode her objections.

After once again suffering from sleep plagued by flashbacks and nightmares, she'd sneaked out of the infirmary in Carson's absence and fled to the place she frequently found herself when the need for solitude overwhelmed her. In that instance however, the warmth and calming sound of the ocean had refused to sooth her turbulent thoughts. Elizabeth had sunk to the floor as the full force of her anxiety and sheer exhaustion finally hit her.

Not until she felt arms encircling her, pulling her into the warmth and security of his arms, did she become aware of John's presence. He was her saving grace that night. Only with him had she been able to open up and pour her heart out. She had cried in his arms, but between sobs, had managed to speak of the guilt that was consuming her; of how she felt it should be her they were burying and not someone only just starting out on his life's journey.

She had shouted at John in anguish. "Why did he do it... why? I was prepared for it, ready to face the fate that awaited me. If only I hadn't closed my eyes, too much of a coward to watch the shot being fired, I could have prevented him sacrificing himself."

John tightened his hold on her, alarmed at the shivering that was racking havoc with her body, but remained silent.

"The bullet was meant for me John, not for him." Resting her head against John's chest, she'd sobbed. "What am I going to tell them? What will I tell his family, his mother... his father?"


John had remained supportive, but silent, until Elizabeth had extinguished the emotions she'd held in check for so long. Only when he was satisfied she'd revealed enough of her tortured thoughts to allow her some peace, did he speak up. He Instinctively knew she was ready to accept words of comfort.

Gently gripping Elizabeth's shoulders, he held her away from his body, so he could get her full attention. "It was the choice he chose to make. One full of bravery and compassion, thinking only of saving the life of the one person whose loss would bring Atlantis to her knees.

"His family will be sad but proud that he died, not only in the line of duty, but for something and someone he truly believed in. Remember, they were aware of the dangers he faced on a daily basis, every time he left them behind. Did they try to stop him? No, and do you know why Elizabeth? Even though their heart probably ached every time he left, they knew how important it was for him to fulfil his own choices in life, to shape his own destiny."

Looking up at him, the anguish still haunting her, Elizabeth sobbed. "He didn't have to die, though it wasn't his choice to make. They'll despise me John, wondering how it is that I survived, but their son didn't."

John cupped her face in his hands, tenderly wiping away the tears that glistened on her cheeks. "Elizabeth, I can't imagine them ever hating you. To do that would be to deny the bravery and courage of their son's last actions. If you want, together we'll go see them when the time is right and can talk of their son. On seeing you, they will see what their son saw, not only a great leader, but someone who is cherished and loved by all those she leads."

Gently tucking a stray curl behind her ear, John placed a tender kiss on Elizabeth's forehead before venturing to her lips. Her near death had shaken him badly. It'd shown the insignificance of the pressures preventing them admitting their true feelings for one another, but not so any longer. To be forever denied the opportunity to see if his feelings would have been reciprocated would've been unbearable.

Thankfully that had not happened. She had survived and although he was saddened by the soldier's death, he would be lying if he didn't admit he was relieved it wasn't her body lying in the morgue, waiting to be returned to a grieving family.

Therefore, when he saw the same feelings reflected in her eyes, as shone in his, he knew everything would work out. Elizabeth's expression of wonder at her awakening feelings and the fierce passion she displayed when their lips finally met, dispelled any remaining doubts. The anxieties she'd experienced earlier were quickly forgotten, their only emotions spent on the thrill of discovery. John's finger's stroked the smooth soft skin of her neck, before travelling sensually downwards, his fingers caressing her rapidly hardening nipples; her gasps of pleasure music to his ears.

Their moment of passion was abruptly interrupted by the vibrating in his ear, causing Elizabeth to groan in frustration as he pulled away from her. He pointed to his ear and silently formed the word 'Carson' with his lips, but frowned at the guilty look she was displaying. He soon found out the reason why, however, as the anxious twang of the Scottish Doctor filtered through.

"Colonel, do you happen to know the whereabouts of Dr Weir? It'll be the observation bed beside my office for her when I eventually catch up with her. The lass was given strict instructions to remain in bed, but gave my nurses the slip in my absence."

Glancing at her, John replied "So she's absconded, has she? Well as it happens, she's standing looking at my right now."

Carson replied "Well she's got ten minutes, then I'm coming to fetch her and I'm not so sure you didn't put her up to this."

"What do you mean by that Carson?" retorted John indignantly, glowering at Elizabeth as she smirked at him.

"Well you're not exactly a model patient yourself. So I don't trust you not to be putting a few of your ideas into Elizabeth's head."

"Carson, I promise to bring her back safe and sound. Anyway, she's shared some of the things that were bothering her."

Carson sighed in relief. "Well maybe I was just a touch hard on you. If you managed to get her to talk, you mustn't be so bad for her after all. Look, I suppose if you think she'd be better off, she can return to her quarters. Only with conditions attached, mind you."

John grinned wickedly at Elizabeth. "And what condition do you want to impose on Elizabeth?"

"Well mainly she has to agree to either myself, or, if she permits, you, checking on her at regular intervals and without complaining."

"I'll discuss it with her and let you know what her decision is, although I think I know what her answer I'll be."

"Aye, so do I, lad, so do I. Though why everybody takes exception to spending time in my infirmary I'll never understand." He muttered a couple of indecipherable words before there was silence as he disconnected the connection.

Elizabeth was staring at him, beseechingly and John pulled her into his embrace. "Well, Carson has said if you want, you can return to your own quarters as long as you allow either Carson or me to regularly check up on you."

She nodded, eagerly. "Oh please, John. I would go mad if I'd to spend any longer in there."

"That's a shame; I think Carson was kind of hoping you'd say the infirmary." He laughed at Elizabeth's horrified expression. "He can't understand why no-one's happy to remain in his tender care for a few days. Maybe you should stay and see if it sooths his hurt pride."

She shook her head, vigorously. "No way. Someone else can have that pleasure, because I don't intend to spend another minute in it. Anyway, I've got outstanding commitments."

"Oh?" he smirked, licking his lips."If you mean continuing where we left off, before Carson's ill timed call, I'm all for it. I suggest we pick somewhere slightly less public, however."

Elizabeth's cheeks glowed crimson as she realised what he was implying. "I'm sorry John, what must you think of me, throwing myself at you like that? I shouldn't have allowed my feelings to get the better of me like that."

"There's no need to apologise, I was there as well remember? I don't regret it and neither should you." He stiffened as he sensed a reluctance in Elizabeth. He pulled away slightly, so he could gauge her reactions. "So, what're you trying to tell me Elizabeth? You were certainly up for it not so long ago."

"John, I was feeling weak and vulnerable which meant I wasn't thinking straight." She knew she wasn't being entirely truthful, she had longed for the taste of him, to kiss his sensual lips, but she had to be strong; that kind of relationship was too dangerous to even contemplate.

John furiously spat at her. "So what're you trying to say? That I took advantage of your emotional state? Answer me Elizabeth, is that what you think, because if that's it then you don't know me at all."

"No of course not, John. I could never think that way of you." Elizabeth looked at him, pleading with her eyes for him to understand. "But we just can't; it would split our objectives. Atlantis has to come before all else, before either you or I. It'll undermine my authority and I'll be accused of favouring you, of allowing our relationship to cloud my judgement. But do you know what would be the worst of all John?"

He pulled away, turning his back to her, not willing to show the hurt he was feeling. "No, but I'm sure you'll enlighten me."

"Don't you see John? They won't allow us to remain on Atlantis. If the IOA found out, we'd immediately be replaced. All the hard work you and I have put in to safeguarding Atlantis will have been in vain."

"It doesn't have to be like that. We'll still be the same people, these feelings aren't new. I fell in love with you a long time ago, but it hasn't affected the decisions I've had to make and it won't in the future." John tight grip on the safety bar around the balcony gave some indication of the frustration he was feelings. Also correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think your feelings towards me were suddenly discovered today. I'd say you've felt something for me for a while, as well, and when has it ever affected your decisions? I'll tell you when, never. Admit it Elizabeth, you know I'm right."

Elizabeth nodded, but looked at John sadly. "Okay, maybe on that aspect you're right, but although we know it, others may not. You know there are people who'd take great pleasure in using such ammunition against us." Her voice was breaking. "You don't know how badly I long for there to be an 'us'; to know I'll have the comfort of your arms waiting for me, but how will it ever be possible? I'm not promising anything, but what if we see how it develops; take things slowly."

Forlorn, he nodded. "Okay, if that's what you want, then I guess that's how it'll have to be played."

John glanced quickly at her, before turning to stare out to the ocean, but it was enough for her to see the hurt and disappointment he felt. She wasn't really surprised to hear the venom in his next words.

"When you've decided how and if you want to invest in this relationship, let me know. That's if I'm still waiting around."

"Please John," Elizabeth begged on the verge of tears as she grabbing John's sleeve, don't... don't be like this. I do want to be with you, it's just... I don't know how... I need you to show me how."

He looked at her without replying for a minute, then, remembering how she'd been earlier and his promise to always be there for her, he relented. "Hush now, it's okay, we'll work it out, come here." He pulled her to him, so she was once again comforted by his closeness. "I understand, and I'm sorry for upsetting you. Look, we'll take it slow; see how things develop."

Elizabeth smiled up at him, a glimmer of hope appearing through her tears. "I'd like that."

They headed back towards her quarters. John was mindful of Carson's words, intending to see that she stuck to her promise and went straight back to bed. Once in her quarters, he sat and waited for her to wash and change and, after making sure she was in bed, kissed her on the forehead before heading for the door.

Just as he was about to close the door behind him, she called to him. "John, wait!"

He stopped dead in his tracks, clearly worried by the anguish he heard in her voice.

"Elizabeth, what's wrong?" He asked.

"John... don't go.... please stay," Elizabeth fell into his arms, shaking, "l want you to stay, please! I need you."

"Hush, it's okay." He gently comforted her." Are you sure about this Elizabeth?" He looked into her eyes, trying to decide if this was what she truly wanted. "You have to be sure this is what you really want. If it's only comfort you want, then you can have it. I'll hold back, though it'll be hard having you so close.

She looked up at him, comforted by the feeling of his arms around her again. "That's not what I mean, John. I want you, all of you. We'll have to be discreet though, with only our closest friends being aware of this and you'd better warn Carson. There's no need for him to call. We don't want him coming to check on me and seeing more than he expected."

End flashback

Elizabeth smiled to herself, as she thought of their first night together; neither had got much sleep, too caught up in the passion of their love making, and their relationship had never looked back. They had the odd argument or two, but that just added more spice to their relationship and their making up afterwards still sent shivers down her spine.

Now she wouldn't be able to show her feels to him, until Colonel Caldwell had left. It was so unfair. 'Still' she smirked inwardly, 'I'll have the surprise that John has been teasing me about, to look forward to.'She wondered what it could be, 'John is like a big kid sometimes.' He'd been teasing her relentlessly about it for the last week or so.

'Well I'd better get back to these reports, or I'll never get rid of Colonel Caldwell.' With that, she put all her concentration back in to getting them finished.

Elizabeth, thankfully, had the reports finished just as someone informed her of the imminent arrival of their expected company. She sighed as she realised she'd have to place John on the back burner until the Daedalus' and Colonel Caldwell's departure.

Frowning, she realised she'd been so busy catching up on her reports, that she hadn't given any thought to the manifest with the names of the new recruits. Now she was out of time, so hopefully it wouldn't hold any surprises. The noise coming from the gate room indicated action, which meant only one thing: the new arrivals, along with Caldwell, were in the process of being beamed into the gate room.

She huffed to herself, 'Ihad better get down there if l want to be on time to welcome them.' Leaving her office in a hurry, she was almost bowled over by John, who was also on his way to meet the new military personnel.

"Whoa!" His hands went around Elizabeth's waist to steady her. "This isn't the time or place..." His eyes were full of longing and lust, but the smirk on his face showed he was joking.

She laughed at him, but in a serious voice replied, "You know we'll have to be careful, until we get to know the new personnel, and until Colonel Caldwell has gone?"

He groaned, "I know, but it's going to be hard. You could promise to make it up to me afterwards?" He whispered in a husky voice."Just think how much fun that'll be. I'm already fantasising what you can do to make up for it."

His words resulted in a well earned slap on the arm from Elizabeth, but her parting words were a challenge."It's your turn to surprise me."

With that she was gone, hurrying of to meet an impatient Colonel Caldwell, leaving behind a smirking Colonel, who almost immediately ran to catch up with her. They stood at the bridge together, their humour left behind and masks of professionalism firmly in place, as they prepared to welcome the newest recruits to Atlantis.