Retelling of Red vs Blue

It was a sunny and bright day in Blood Gulch and a Fire red trooper was standing watch at Red base while he listen to Grif and Simmons talking about the meaning of life and shit, Simmons really was asking about why are they fight the blues but Rogers couldn't get the cosmic 'fuck up' out of his head, after a minute just thought to himself why am I even joined up so he can get paid, but that can't be it right. He shook it a off and when back to guarding his post. A couple of minutes later Sarge called them down. "Hurry up ain't no ice cream social." Called a older man in standard red armor.

"Ice cream social?" Simmons said aloud. He how ever kept his mouth shut while Sarge began to speak. Even if Sarge just went and spoke hick, he'd just go along with it.

"Anyone want to guess why I gathered you here today?"

"Uh is because the war is over." At that moment the fire red soldier shook his head and snickered when the Sergeant began to belittle Grif.

"Thats right your the big hero and they're throwing a parade in your honor. I get to drive the float, and Rogers is handing out pins and Simmons is in charge of confetti!" He stood there and barely listen to Sarge but when he told them about the new recruit his ears picked up. And the men began to speak amongst themselves.

"God I hate showing around rookies." The fire-red soldier said to himself. His accent wasn't anything people recognize right off the bat, he was born and raised in las vegas but people mistake for Utahn. He just laugh and make jokes about Utah and tell them about his seventh wife, that always riled people up.

"And Rogers. You'll be in charge in showing the new recruit around."said Sarge.

"Ha." Laughed Grif and gave them the finger and all Rogers could think is how he's the most unlucky soldier in the entire canyon. And he barely listen to Sarge just picking up on bits and pieces. But when he saw the truck he instantly forgot about the rookie.

"Gentlemen this is the M12 LRV1. I like to call it the warthog."

"She a beaut." Whistle Rodgers.

"You're right about that Rogers."

"Why warthog sir?" Simmons asked raising his hand.

"Because M12 LRV is too hard to say in conversation,son."

"No why, Warthog? I mean is doesn't really look like a pig." said Grif.

"He does make a small point sir." said Rogers.

"Say that again." Sarge said angrily.

"Sorry sir." Rogers said looking down.

"No not you."

"I think it looks more like a puma." Roger stopped and thought for a second, how does does it look like a big cat or even a pig it just looks like a jeep. When Sarge called upon him to name a mythical creature he called for the first animal that came to his head.

"Werewolf."

"Serious you too." moaned Grif. Soon Sarge had his fill of make fun of Grif and they were soon all dismissed. After a few days things back to normal and Grif and Simmons were talking while Rogers stood around in the background sitting around for the blues to attack. But then he saw a guy in red armor come toward Grif and Simmons and he got up and slowly walked towards them. When got there he just heard the rookies name after Grif and Simmons finished talking to him he went up and spoke to the recruit.

"Hey rookie, names Dan but you can me Rogers." Rogers said extending his hand. The rookie shook it and spoke.

"Franklin Donut sir, but my friends call me Frankie."

"Alright Donut I'm supposed to show you around and I will. Here's the base and there's the motor pool. You can figure out the rest." Soon Roger left and went towards Grif. "Thank god Sarge isn't here or I'd have to give him the full tour."

"I know what you mean." said Grif. "Sarge expect me to do all the work." The two laughed.

Meanwhile at Blue base a young women in Icy blue armor was laying down at the top of blue base with her long black hair all about. Just then a large ship came down and dropped off a tank and its open its bay door. When she got there the tank was set up and the new recruit was there. "Hey there, name's Emma Vulcan and welcome to Blood Gulch." she said in a happy voice. Her voice sounded like a Canadian but also had some American sounding tone, she was raised up in Idaho near the border.

"Names Michael J. Caboose." Soon the rest of the Blue team met the Recruit exchange names but they were hypnotised by the tank and Caboose started to tell a story but she halved listened.

"The tank looks awesome." said Tucker.

"I know right."

Back at red base Rogers wander off but was still in hearing distance. He over heard Grif and Simmons put Donut up for a tasked and tried not laugh when he heard what he was supposed to do. "How long do you think till he figures out here is no store." laughed Simmons.

"At least a week."

"Care to make a bet." Rogers said pulling a twenty out his wallet. "Twenty bucks says he does come back till a day or less."

"I'll take some of that action." laughed Grif.

Meanwhile at blue base. Vulcan rolled her eyes when Tucker the local 'womanizer' started to say he could pick up chicks with the tank. She generally ignores the guys but when Church stated that he had a girlfriend she couldn't have believed it. "So you going to marry her when you get back."

"Yeah Church, I expect the only girl that loved was your mother." Vulcan said jumping into the conversation.

"Hey and bitch." said Church.

"Good one." snorted Tucker. When Caboose stated he'd never get married she just ignored him but when he called her a cow she gave him a death glare under her helmet. When Church stated the general was coming she just played along.

"Yep the General is coming." She said not even breaking a sweat. After they showed him away Vulcan began to laugh.

"You know he's dumber than you Tucker." said Church.

"No he's dumber than you are."

"No he's dumber than both of you." Vulcan said with the laughter fading away. She then left for a short bit to check out the other side of the tank and overheard Church talking to someone else than Tucker. She then came around to see the guys talking about the tank again.

"You're telling me you're not armor certified?" yelled Church.

"I don't even know how to use the fucking sniper rifle. Don't you know how to drive that?" Tucker nervously.

"No, What about you Vulcan?" asked Tucker.

"No, I just know how to fuel a pelican."

"Holy crap who is running this army?" Total fear came to Vulcan's eyes as she realized she was in the company of total useless soldiers. It soon fade when she saw the new recruit but when he said the 'General' had arrived she had a slight nervous twitch in her eye. She then was told by Church to meet them us at the top of the base and as she ran towards the base she over heard Cabooses story and felt little at fault. She then saw it was sargent and her blood boil. The Sargent usually called her a hussy. She ran into her room and grabbed a rifle, she then ran outside to hear Church say to Tucker they'll take the teleporter. But was slightly annoyed when Tucker became a whiny little bitch. Church raised his gun and Tucker ran through when he didn't come out she held her arm and said ouch very softly to herself.

"Uh yeah. I decided I won't use the Teleporter."

"Agreed." Church then ran down and barked orders at Caboose and Vulcan sooned followed.

Back at Redbase. "I still have no idea what you're talking about. I didn't hear any shots."

"You know I hate to agree with kissass over here but, he's right. It might just be your radio, damn thing is buggy." grumbled Rogers. He never liked the armor, thing was made cheap, he even saw a made in china on the thing.

"Hey." Simmons said giving Rogers a glare.

"I'm telling you it was four bam,bam,bam."

"Wait that was only three bams." Simmons said with a smirk under his helmet.

"Bam." Rogers soon walked off but when Grif spoke up he listened.

"Wait a second. We got two blues on the move out there."

"Where's they headed?" asked Simmons.

"Oh crap it's Donut, and he's got something. It looks lik-. Simmons get the warthog."

"You mean the puma?"

"No it's the werewolf." Joked Rogers.

"I hate you both." Grif said crossing his arms.

Back with the blues Church and Vulcan had just caught up with Donut, she had her rifle at the ready. "Why were you shooting at me? You could of hit me, dick." All Vulcan could think was how stupid this guy must be. But when she heard him say he wasn't the sergeant she felt like an idiot. Then suddenly Tucker appeared out of thin air and she almost shot him and almost shot him again once she realized it was just Tucker. When he stated the teleporter sent him back in time she felt like she should've shot him the second time.

Back at the red base Grif, Simmons and Rogers loaded up into the warthog. Rogers got out his trusty SMG and got into the passenger seat. "Yippee ki yay." yelled Rogers as they began to drive.

"Shut up." yelled Simmons.

"Kissass." Rogers bit back. He and Simmons were cool most of the time but when it came to it they fought.

"Both of you shut up." yelled Grif. "I will turn this car around."

Back with the blues Tucker was on and on how he was sent back in time and how the priviet was going to be the sergeant someday. She began to hear polka music and tightened her the handle and grip of her assault rifle. Then came a huge truck with a mounted machine gun turret. "SON OF A BITCH!" she yelled. She then began to run away screaming and dodging an hailstorm bullets. Rogers got out and fired a few shot at Church and spoke to Donut after he finished his conversation with Grif.

"You alright Donut?" asked Rogers.

"I'll be for asking."

"So ya Grif you owe me Twenty bucks." Rogers smirked, he knew he couldn't buy anything but he like being right.

"Nah ha we said if he gets back to base."

"And he was. So pay up." Grif then shelled out a crisp twenty and went back to his seat in the warthog. "Oh ya Grif I'm going to escort the rookie back to base."

"Alright fine." Rogers motion for Donut to follow him, Donut nodded and Rogers began to jog.

"So Donut can you tell me what happened?" Rogers asked once Donut caught up.

" it began on a warm day and-"

Back with the blues. "You know in hindsight we should have brought the tank."

"And yet we didn't." Vulcan said in a bitchy tone. She then proceeded to ignore the guys and look for a way out at first chance she got. After a few hours of non-stop bullets it finally stop and Vulcan was getting ready to make a break for it.

"I think we should take the Jeep." said Tucker.

"Tucker don't be stupid. They're just trying to draw us out." said Church. She looked over and saw they were gone.

"No, they're no look they left the jeep, they're gone."

"It might be risky but all right."

"I'll go too. You'll need a gunner." Church nodded and they soon took off and after good minute she could see the tank firing a shell hitting the jeep and Church and her running back towards the Tucker.

"Hey dude the jeep blew up." said Tucker. Vulcan face palmed at the idiot comment.

"No kidding." Church said angrily. While Church and Tucker were talking Vulcan checked around to see if any of the reds were near and smiled when she saw they had ran off. After her search was done she began to look at the tank and saw that maybe she isn't in the company of idiots she began to rejoice but soon the tank fired another shell hitting Church. She ran back and dived behind a rock before she became its next target. She got back up and heard Church speaking softly.

"Tucker,V there's something I need to tell you guys." Church said with the life fading away.

"What is it?"

"I just want you to know I always hated you both but Vulcan you're a bitch."

"I already know now hurry up and die you prick." Tucker and Vulcan said in unison

Back at red base "What happened?" asked Donut and Rogers in unison.

"Big-tank-shooting." Grif said trying to catch his breath. He heard Simmons belittle Grif and him biting back. But all Rogers could think of was a killer tank. And started to take off when he saw it and seemingly leaving behind his comrades the first glimpse he saw of the tank. "Where's he going?-Oh."

Back with the blues Vulcan was looting Churches corpse of the sniper rifle and sat at the ridge looking at Tucker, Caboose and the tank down below. She got up and kicked the body a couple of times. "Call me a bitch huh well you're dead. Bitch."

Back at red base Rogers was inside the base while the tank fired shots shaking the place and causing some falling cement pieces. "Great I going to die here today. Just great." Rogers then heard Sarge's voice on the radio and he's spirits started to pick up. He got up when Sarge said he got a solution to the tank problem. Rogers walked outside and from cover he could see a ship firing missiles at the tank and when it hit it he jumped up and took off his helmet to get a better look, revealing his dirty blonde hair he then calmed down and put his helmet back on and went to the top of the base.

Back with the blues. Vulcan rushed down to check on her teammates and was (sort of) relieved to see them all alive but she saw that Caboose was crushed at the death of his tank and saw him yelling her name. "Don't worry Caboose I bet she in computer heaven with ones and zeros sometimes twos." she said patting him on the back. She then walked back to base with Caboose and Tucker. She left Caboose to clean Tucker's armor while she took guard half expecting for the reds to attack. After a good hour and half she came down to find Tuckers armor cleaned and he was also talking about getting a freelancer. Just then a ghost of church appeared.

"Holy shit!" She yelled see Church again. He began to talk, and began to bitch when Caboose opened his mouth. All she did was roll her eyes and listen to Churches warning about Tex. His story gave her the chiles. And all she could think about was this super killer. It been several hours since Church came back but when she turned and saw it a cold chill ran through her entire body. When he approached he pointed to Vulcan and spoke.

"Who's in charge around here little girl." Tex said in a deep menacing voice.

"Um, no one at the moment sir." she said trying not to sound afraid.

"Hhmm alright. You two come with me." Tex said in an emotionless tone. After Caboose and Tucker left Vulcan couldn't help but follow when she finally caught up she saw Tucker had finally finished tell them the whole story and Caboose had a lot bullet holes near his head. But she had kept back until it left. After it did, she met up with the rest of her squad.

Back at red base Rogers had gotten up from a long needed nap and went topside to see Grif speaking with Simmons like usually. He saw a shimmer of light but shook it off. He began to lay down and look at the sky. "What are you doing Rogers?" asked Donut still holding the flag.

"Just looking at the the way good job witht he flag you might get a pormotion. " After a good minute he turned his head to see some kind of blue thing on Donuts head he scuddle back at the sight of the thing. And soon everyone started to freak out and then it exploded. Roger reached for his gun but something kicked him in the face and he soon found himself knocked out.

Back at blue base, Vulcan held a sniper rifle in her hand laugh at the misfortune of the red base. "He is really kicking their asses." Caboose said with fear in his voice. She then went back to see the Fire red guy standing back up but Tex pushing him off the base roof top.

"Ouch." She said to herself. She just couldn't stop look at Tex after it had finished beating up the reds she laughed even harder when she saw it take all of their wallets. Soon Tex disappeared and Vulcan jumped back into the conversation.

"I am really glad Tex is on our team and not theirs."

"Amen brother."

"It definitely seems like your of killing of Church started to work out for us." said Tucker.

"You know, you think so huh? You know I was going to say something but-uh, wait, no."

"Well he was a terrible soldier and good riddance." Vulcan said taking of her helmet and spitting. She then put back on her helmet and looked down the scope of her rifle.

"Hey Vulcan can I use your sniper rifle?" Tucker asked ever so sweetly.

"Piss off." After a good minute there it was a deep disembodied voice and when she turned around there he was Church. "Ah Church I've missed you and definitely not sold your stuff on ebay."

"Huh, what? never mind I don't want to know. Anyways your flag is back by the way. But how'd guys manage to get your flag back?"

"Ebay?" Vulcan said with an uneasy laugh.

"Vulcan, who do you think you're trying to fool here. Hey wait a second, where's Tex?"'

"I not really sure, he said he was going to go to the store, something about, elbow grease." said Tucker.

""Elbow grease? I mean ya we're running low on it." Vulcan said look at Tucker

"Oh great, this is so typical for you two. What was the one thing I told you guys last time I appeared?"

"That sidewinder is cold?" said Caboose.

"What was the other one thing I told you three."

"Not to get him involved?"

"Right and what did you do?"

"We let him get involved."

"And not just a little involved. How involved." Church said angrily.

"A whole lot." Vulcan said look at the ground with shame.

Back at red base Rogers had just got back to his feet after being knocked out and pushed from the top of red base. He went in to find Sarge and Lopez tieing up Tex. "Hey son you alright?" asked Sarge.

"I think he chipped a tooth." Rogers said half dazed.

"Well standing right there isn't going to help now help me finish tying him up." Rogers followed Sarges Command and tied Tex up and he soon wander off to his bunk and laid down for five minutes to return to help with the prisoner.

Back at blue base Vulcan looked down the scope of her rifle. And listened to Caboose's rambling. But when Church stated his worries for Tex, she spoke up. "Why are you so worried Church I thought he stole your girl."

"I never said I hated Tex. I just said she was the reason why we never got married."

"She?" said Vulcan, Caboose and Tucker in unison.

Back at red base Rogers was standing over the prisoner with his assault rifle pointed at the prisoner with lopez. When the prisoner woke up he tightened the grip of his gun. "Oh great you broke my voice filter you cockbiting fucktards."

"Your a girl!?" Rogers yelled in surprise.

"Oh course I a girl you dumb shit." hissed Tex. But all Rogers could do was stand there in disbelief. He's trained with female soldiers before and they weren't half bad fighters but he never met someone who take out three soldiers without their gun, not to mention someone so mean.

"Ah I knew it. Only a chick could give me this big of a headache this big!" Rogers step back towards Grif and whispered.

"If she could take out three guys without a gun think what she can do to you if you piss her off." Rogers waited for a smartass remark but all he heard was a gulp. He then stepped forward next to Lopez.

Back at blue base Vulcan was talking with Tucker and Church. "Let me get this straight that wasn't a guy at all." said Vulcan.

"And your ex-girlfriend." Tucker added.

"In a nutshell, yes. That is an excellent summary."

"I should've known, she didn't like me. Girls never like."

"Caboose, I don't think anyone likes you."

"That's not true. I have a mild distaste for Caboose."

"Yay."

"Shut up." Barked Vulcan.

"I don't think I've seen a girl that mean before, and she makes Vulcan look like a puppy. Are you she's a chick and not a guy, or like part guy part shark."

"I'm pretty sure I would know if Tex was a guy, and I'm definitely sure I would know if she was part shark."

"Wait, if she a girl, then why is she named Tex?" asked Caboose.

"Uh, because she from Texas. Trust me it makes sense and it not fully her fault."

"Ya you should blame god. First he makes hangover and now half women, half shark that won't even sleep with me. Thanks for nothing god." Tucker said shaking his fist at the sky

"Will you shut with that. She got into some kind of weird experimental program, back during basic. Where they infused her armor with this really aggressive AI." Vulcan thought to herself, that was really risky stuff she remember something her father told her about, the project her father told her about was some man went crazy and killed ten men and himself when the AI malfunctioned they had to EMP the whole place.

"AI, whats the A stand for?"

"Artificial."

"What's the I."

"Intelligence."

"Ohhh! What was the A again?"

"Shut up Caboose or you'll give me a migraine." sighed Vulcan.

"So the military put this program in her head, and that program made her a killer. But underneath it all she really just sweet down home girl?" said Tucker.

"Oh hell no! She's always been a rotten bitch. It's now that she's now a rotten bitch with cybernetic enhancements."

"Wow Church you really know how to pick a gal." Chuckled Vulcan.

"Ya, she's a real keeper."

"Shut up, anyways are you following any of this whatsoever, Caboose?

"I think so, that guy Tex is really a robot and you're his boyfriend. So that makes you a gay robot."

"Oh dear god, Tucker when rations run out low I say we eat." said Vulcan.

"Agreed. What did Church just say he was a gay robot. Ha."

"Let it go Tucker, let it go."

At red base Roger's was with Grif and Simmons watching the prisoner. "So you're a girl huh?"

"Just ignore him that's what I do."

"Not so tough now we unloaded your weapon, are you?"

"Hey punk, I don't need a weapon to kill you."

"Ya right. What are you going to do punch me?" After Grif spoke the women stepped up and Grif coward away.

"Grif what did I tell you about antagonizing the super killer." Rogers yelled at a cowering Grif.

At blue base Church was telling the group he had a plan to save Tex. "A plan, I hate plans, that means we're going to do stuff. Can't we have a strategy or a mission statement?"

"I think we should do a tactic."

"Vulcan that worse than a plan, that's like a plan but with more shooting."

"Tucker, Vulcan shut up. As I was saying I just need you guys to run a distraction, while I spring Tex."

"Distraction, that sounds alot like decoy." Caboose said with an uneasy laugh.

"Can't we just use Caboose." Moaned Vulcan. All Church did was glare at Vulcan and returned to talking.

"The way I see it, the Reds have absolutely no idea how many freelancers we have out here. So all I need from the three of you is to run around in the middle of the canyon wearing black armor while I sneak in the back of the base. Do you like that 'tactic'?"

"Sounds good."

"Sure."

"But Church, where are the hell are we going to get three suits of black armor?" When Church looked towards the teleporter she got a little queasy. Tucker entered the teleporter and when he came back out after a minutes she began to yell at him.

"Does it hurt?"

"No, not at all." lied Tucker.

"O.k here I come." Caboose then turned to Vulcan and spoke."I'm nervous Vulcan." said a shaking Caboose.

"Don't worry we can both go." Caboose nodded his head and went in, she soon followed a second later. After what appeared to be only a second, Vulcan exited the teleporter and felt a sharp pain through her entire body. "Motherfucker!" she yelled at the top of her lungs. "You lied you cockbyte." she said throwing a small rock at Tucker's head.

"Sorry." Tucker said with a light chuckle.

At red base Roger was guarding the prisoner while Grif and Simmons were arguing on how to say both. "Are these idiots always like this?" asked Tex.

"Yep."

"Are they like dating or something?"

"Oh, no no but it does look like it. They're like best friends or frenemies."

"Ah that still would explain a lot though." Soon the Sergeant came over and called for Grif to help him.

"Maybe we should all go sir."

"Well,well. Another brilliant idea from the think tank. Why don't all of you come up?Leave the prisoner alone. We could put her on the honor system, let her guard her self." Sarge said waving his arms around

"Good point sir."

"You're goddamn right it is." Rogers just rolled his eyes went back to watching the prisoner.

Back with the blues Vulcan was waiting for Church to give them the all clear. When he told her that the orange guy was out of the base she was ready to spring into action. But when Caboose began to interrupt she sat there but then the two began to argue and she lost. "Both of you shut the hell up."

"Alright, alright." said Tucker. "Caboose get ready to run."

"O.k" He then took off and hid behind the rock.

"Caboose they can still see you." yelled Tucker.

"They can't see me.I can't see them."

"That's not how it work, you dumbass." Vulcan yelled back. He soon regroup and began to speak again.

"Guys, I just want to say I having a really great time."

"That's great Caboose." said Vulcan.

"Yeah it's like we're real soldiers."

"Would you please go hide behind another rock." said Tucker.

Back at the reds Simmons and Rogers were guarding the prisoner. "Hey simmons."

"Yeah."

"I got to take a leak, you mind guarding the prisoner alone."

"I don't mind."

"Thanks man."

"Don't mention it." Rogers made his way down the hall when he saw the Sergeant.

"Hey Sarge."

"Soldier do you mind telling me where the prisoner is?"

"Um ya, she just right there." Rogers said pointing down the hall. "Is everything al-" In mid sentence he dropped down to the ground unconscious.

Meanwhile

Vulcan was laying on the ground while Caboose was standing on the rock looking down the scope of the rifle. "One of the reds have Tex, I'm going to shoot him and kill him and free Tex. Then Church will forgive me for kill him and we will friends."

"Then stop yapping and started shootin then." Yawned Vulcan. She braced herself for the rifle shot and then there was a boom. "Humf he actually did, hey Tuck did he hit the red guy or score another team kill."

"I don't know. Maybe if I had had the rifle I could see."

"Nope."

"Damn it!"

Meanwhile

Rogers just began to regain consciousness when suddenly the sound of a sniper rifle going off caused him to jump to his feet. He checked himself to make sure he was alright, he sighed in relief but came rushing out when he heard the yells of some girl. When he got there he saw Sarge in the ground with a pool of blood and everyone was freaking out. Grif was trying to resuscitate him by hitting him with a when Grif took off his helmet and Sarges he turned around to avoid the horror. When Rogers turned his head he saw the most amazing thing Sarge was actually alive. I'll be damned. But too little surprise he praised Simmons and belittled Grif. After a few hours Rogers was back on top of the base looking outward. He soon heard a voice, he turned his head too see a woman in pink armor. "So Donut died and they replaced him, damn shame."

"I'm not dead."

"Donut you're not dead, and most importantly your pink."

"It's lightish red." Soon Grif and Simmons came up too see the recruit. "Hey guess what, so command was so happy I captured the flag they gave me my own color armor."

"Uh, hey donut."

"What?"

"Um about your armor."

"What about it?"

"It's ah, Grif you want to help me out here?"

"It's pink. Your armor is fricken' pink." said Grif.

"Yeah that's it, it's pink" said Simmons.

"I have to agree with them on this." Rogers said rubbing his neck.

"Pink! My armor not pink."

"No donut it's pink."

"You guys are color blind. Why would they give me pink armor."

"Hey don't ask don't tell." Rogers and Simmons began to snicker while Donut gave them a glare through his visor.

"That's not funny." said Simmons.

"It's a little funny."

"It's not pink. It's like, uh lightish red."

"Guess what they already have a color for lightish red. You know what it's called? Pink."

"I hate you guys." After a minute of snickers between Simmons and Rogers it had died down and then Sarge came up.

"Hello dirtbags, and a fine hello to you, Madame."

"It's lightish red."

"So sad, he trying so hard to deny it, it's like when Grif heard that McDonald's was discontinuing the mega fry special fried in butter. Grif cried for a week." Rogers whispered to Simmons.

Flash back

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo." cried Grif as the news man reported that the mega fry special fried in butter was getting discontinued forever.

"I don't know what he's getting so worked up for. Those actually caused people to sweat butter." said Rogers taking pity on Grif who just ate his last fry special and was crying butter on the floor literally.

"I know right remember when he dropped the packet on the floor the whole floor was slick for a week." said a disgusted Simmons.

Now

"Don't get your panties in a wad there Barbie." Sarge said to Donut. "Do you have a package for me?"

"Yes sir."

"Excellent."

"They said this speech unit should work with lopez."

"Speech unit?" said a dumbfounded Grif.

"Affirmative, Command was fresh out of speech models, when I started building Lopez, but once I get this baby installed, I'll finally have someone intelligent to talk to. No offense Simmons." Rogers rolled his eyes and began to listen again to the conversation.

"Wait a sec,Lopez is a robot."

"Of course he is, you didn't notice that he never talks."

"I just thought he was a really quiet guy"

"Or that he get 5 o'clock rust shadow." add Rogers.

"And the fact that he sleeps standing up and drinks motor oil didn't get your attention."

"Well I did think the motor oil thing was odd, I just thought he was trying to impress me."

"Dip shit." Couched Rogers. A few seconds later he saw Sarge put the card into Lopez and some elettric static came up.

At blue base Vulcan just finished getting her armor to its icy blue. "And done." She then put her armor on and met up with Tucker and Caboose who have yet to finish their armor. She went up top to see Church but he was with Tex. She just went back to her small room and got a book.

At red base Rogers, Grif and Simmons were telling what happened to Donut."Right that was a grenade."

"And last thing I remember is a loud bang and then Simmons fainting."

"Bitch." Laughed then turned his head to see Sarge fixing up Lopez. It turned on and began to speak spanish. Damn it, Roger thought to himself. I failed spanish, I only know simple things and swears.

"Lopez speak english" yelled Sarge but all that Lopez did was reply with more spanish.

"Huh, I think you shorted out his speech unit with that static sir."

"Maybe princess peach picked up the wrong model."

"Seriously dude, for the last time not pink." Rogers began to wander off, and look around in the distance he swear he just saw something move but he just shook it off. He went down to his bunks while the rest off the guys dealt with the Lopez problem.

At blue base, Vulcan just finished a book she was reading when Tucker came to get her. "Church wants us all outside, just to let you know." He then ran off. Vulcan got up and ran out to follow the soldier. When she got there she just barely heard that Tex was leaving.

"How are you square with me?"

"Because I didn't kill you back at sidewinder."

"You know I don't really see how not killing somebody is the same thing as doing them a favor."

"Well if you don't appreciate it , I could just kill you now."

"You can't I'm already dead bitch."

"Oh." Everyone turned there head towards Vulcan. "I'll shut up now."

"As I was saying the jokes on you."

"Stop it, stop fighting. Can't you see you're tearing us apart. What about us."

"Caboose you're an idiot." sighed Vulcan.

"We helped you too. And what do we get? Nothing."

"Well yeah but-."

"Yeah but nothing. He's got a point."

"I did help them get the flag back."

"Ya but you were paid to do that. We rescued you as a favor, we could of let you rot in a red army prison. It wouldn't have made any difference to us."

"Fine, I'll stay here as long as it take to help you guys win this thing. As soon as I have I'm out of here. What do you need me to do?"

"I have no idea, if you knew how to fix a tank, I would you do that."

"Ok."

"Wait, you know how to fix Sheila?"

"Who's Sheila." Vulcan whispered to Tucker.

"I don't know." Soon they were off, It only took a minute to get to the tank.

"Looks pretty fuck up, you think Tex can fix it Tucker?" Vulcan said to the spirit.

"Probably." He then ran up a head and started to listen to Church who was already there.

"Ok take it easy guys. When I was over at the red base, I saw that they've got there jeep fixed. So whatever you do don't let them see us before we get Shelia back online."

"Oh that's Sheila." Vulcan said under breath, she turned her head to see Tex flip the tank onto it's treads. "Wow."

"I'm the one that's the least visible, so I'm going to head to higher ground to keep an eye on the red base. If I see anything I'll let you know."

"Ok good. I'll go see if Tex needs any help." Church wasn't listen to her so she went over to Tex anyway."Ma'am I'm here to see if you need any help."

"Do you know anything about engines?" asked Tex.

"I could hot wire any car I've ever met."

"Sorry kiddo, cars are whole lot different then this baby. Now how's about you braid your hair or something," Growled Tex. Vulcan walked away and gave her the middle finger. "I saw that." Vulcan ignored it and sat down and waited for further orders.

"Hey Tucker."

"What?"

"What the hell is my body still doing up here?"

"That's the part of being dead Church. You're body doesn't really move around anymore,maybe you haven't fully grasped the concept yet."

"Alright let me rephrase that. Why in the hell haven't you buried my body yet?"

"Burid? With what, all we have are pistol and rifles. What do you want me to do. Shoot you a grave." said Tucker.

"How's about shipping me back home. You know, let the loved ones pay little respect."

"Well, Church here's your girlfriend. Tex as churches loved one would you like to pay your respects." Vulcan felt a little bad when she saw her turn her back.

"Oh Church that's not the only thing you'll find disrespectable."

"What was that Vulcan?"

"Nothing." After a couple of minutes Vulcan played tic-tac-toe in the dirt with caboose and after a few games Church called up the blue squad. When they got there Vulcan saw Church staring at his own body.

"I am not happy about this."

"I have an idea. I have an Idea." Caboose yelled even louder.

"Yeah we heard you the first time Caboose. We just ignore you."

"Since you possessed that red guy and took control of him, why don't you just possess your own body."

"Oh, I see. So that way I would be living inside of my own dead body."

"Yes."

"Unable to move, just laying there in the sun, rotting for all eternity."

"Yes."

"Ok Caboose I make sure I get right on that."

"I think you're a mean ghost." Caboose said in tears. God he's like an emotional time bomb. Vulcan thought to herself. She then stood back at attention, missing the conversation Church and Tucker had. From what she could tell they were dismissed, Vulcan sat down on the ledge and let her feet dangle. She thought to herself, how peace and kind of beautiful this place kind of is. But it was interrupted by Tucker and Church's conversation to warn the reds. They're not as quiet as they think. When Church vanished, Caboose began to yell.

"Look at this. They have a girl."

"A what?"

"A girl a girl. Look pink armor."

"Oh man, how come they get a girl."

"Uh, you guys realize that I'm a chick, right. And that I standing right here."

"So am I." Vulcan said taking off her helmet just to prove to them.

"Ya guys, but when we say a girl. We mean a girl-girl."

"And what the hell does that mean." Tex and Vulcan said in unison.

"Nothing!" said a panic Tucker and Caboose.

"Wait a second, if Tex that do think she heard Church's secret plan to warn the reds about her."

"Probably." yelled Vulcan.

"But I think I know how to find out." Caboose then walked over to the ridge and yelled to Tex."Hey, Tex. Uh, did you hear Church's secret plan to tell the Red's that you were fixing the tank?"

"Thanks dumbass now she's for sure to kill us all." sighed Vulcan.

"I had to check."

"Ah crap."

"What is it Tucker?" asked Vulcan

"Tex is almost done fixing up the the tank. I better radio Church and tell him what's going on."

Meanwhile at Red base,Rogers had just woken up from his nap by the sound of explosions. He grabbed his rifle and put on his helmet and run up top to see the tank firing at them. "What the hell!" He ran to take cover, and hid on the on onto the warthog and Sarge drove off after a minute they were running back. "Ramp is secure sir." laughed Rogers and Grif.

"If we survive this i'm going to kill all of you slowly." Rogers then saw Donut.

"Hey what are you guys doing up here?"

"That chick in the black armors back."

"What chick? The one that stuck the grenade to my head?"

"That's the one." Replied Simmons.

"The same chick who's fault it is that I'm stuck in this lightish red armor?"

"It's Pink Donut Pink!" yelled Rogers.

"Oh. I've been waiting for this. Hey bitch, remember me? I've saved something for ya." Donut then threw a sticky grenade almost half way across the canyon.

"Wow."

Back with the Blues Vulcan watch as the gal in pink armor threw a plasma grenade to Tex. All she could do was watch. She closed her eyes and put her hands to her ears then came the explosion. She then saw a guy in brown armor come running towards them. "Hey Tuck."

"What?"

"Should I kill that guy."

"No! That's Church."

"Oh, are you sure though." she asked wanting to shoot something.

"Just no." She watch as he Took out the dieing Tex and she all but couldn't feel sorry for him. She then started to walk towards the base.

This is basic info on the two oc's if you're curious. Also the AI part that isn't agent Maine it's something a lot older.

Vulcan is aggressive to people she dislikes but if you're on her good side she quite kind. She not a girly-girly she's tough. She's also the daughter of a general(Real one), so she a alright fighter.

Rogers is more laid back. He works hard like Simmons but doesn't respect Sarge too much and sometimes question orders, he's also quite lazy like Grif but only when work is done, unlike Grif though he eats a little more healthier and exercises before and after bed for a few minutes. Next chapter I'll tell you each oc's relationship to everyone's