Have you ever considered remarrying? What a question to ask. I hung my hat and coat myself, being more than accustomed to Ethel's shortcomings by now. Surely Richard was not considering taking a wife. Why shouldn't he though? Being a man well into his prime...if not past it...the doctor had every right in the world to be courting a woman. Who might it be though? I couldn't recall him mentioning any women lately. The only women he spoke to were the nurses at the hospital. And myself, I suppose. None of the nurses seemed to strike his fancy though, and he was far too professional to insinuate a relationship at the hospital. Wasn't he?

If Richard had found a woman, I should be quite pleased. I should. But was I? I climbed the steps with that thought. Would I truly be happy for Richard if he were to announce his retirement from the life of a bachelor? If I knew he was no longer an available man? I suppose I would have no grounds for disappointment. It isn't as if I took advantage of that privilege when it was present. However much I would have liked to.

I would have liked to… What an admittance that was, even if only to myself. It felt odd to embrace the idea of fancying Richard. Somehow it felt so very right and natural as well.

Who could this woman be? This soon-to-be wife? Surely no one I knew. Hopefully no one I knew. I'm not sure I could bear seeing him with a friend of mine. Could I bear seeing him with anyone at all? Crossing into the bedroom, I slumped into an armchair, deflated with confusion and dare I say...disappointment.

Hanging my head in my hands, I replayed the conversation. "Have you ever considered remarrying?" I raised my head quickly, and dwelt on something I had foolishly missed before.

"Have you ever considered remarrying?" You. He had asked if I was in the market for a husband, not that he was becoming one. Had he been implying an interest in me?

Oh, how very daft I can be sometimes. My face broke into a wide, becoming smile as Ethel pushed in without a knock, "Will you be needing assistance tonight, ma'am?"

"No, Ethel. I think I shan't." My answer was much too enthusiastic and my smile too wide. Silently acknowledging my odd behavior, the girl dismissed herself with a nod and a smile of her own.

Richard had been asking-more or less- to court me. I had to speak with him at once. "Ethel!" I shouted, running down the stairs to fetch the coat I had left at the door, "I am going back out, but feel free to retire for the night."

Instead of waiting for the girl's response, I reacquainted myself with the cool night air. Under the dimming light of the setting sun, I realized I had no idea where to seek him out. I have never been a guest in Richard's home, and doubted greatly he would be at the hospital at this hour. Stopping at the end of the drive of Crawley House, I scanned the village around me.

Then it hit me...Mr. Barrow! Wasting no time, I hiked up my skirt to my ankles and scurried away toward the long drive of the Abbey, hoping to God Richard was still tending to his latest patient.


I'm not sure where I am leading this yet, because I'm not all too please with it. It was more of a spur of the moment experiment with first person writing. If you saw a nugget of something entertaining in this, boost my pride in this piece with a review!