Forgiving the Impossible
Summary: Forgiving your mother's killer is almost impossible in reality. But when you forgive, you forgive and free yourself from the chain of hatred. Shirahoshi grieves for her mother's death and tries to uphold her promise. Pre-Canon.
Character: Shirahoshi
Genre: Angst, General
A character study on Shirahoshi. I think she was pretty strong for being able to forgive someone like Hody, despite being a crybaby and physically weak, especially for being so young. Being able to forgive is an act of courage and strength, not weakness, but it is also a hard and long road. Here is what I think Shirahoshi must have gone through in forgiving Hody. After all, forgiving something that evil can't happen overnight.
-(X)-
It had been sudden, too quick for her young mind to comprehend. There was fire burning at the collected signatures and her mother was standing there, directing the soldiers to douse the fire. Over the screaming of the flames, the sound of gunshot was heard too late and the next thing she knew her mother was down and bleeding (What!? Why!? Too fast! Too much blood!).
She didn't notice the fishman pirate's touch. Or maybe she did but didn't registered it with all the commotion (There was a pool of blood, deep and dark and her mother was in it). But that touch sealed her fate to be trapped in Koukaku Tower for a decade.
Then the horrible reality came crashing down on her and she cried. She cried and cried. Her mother was dying in front of her, all her hard work was burning and there's nothing she could do!
But her brothers, Ryuboshi and Manboshi, distracted her from her grief. Over the din of the fire and cries, she could finally hear what her mother was trying to say.
"Don't cry…my angels…"
Her mother was telling her not to cry, so she wouldn't. Brother Fukaboshi was also trying his hardest to smile for their mother. They surrounded their mother, trying their hardest not to cry because she wouldn't want them to and what children are not loyal to their mothers?
"Just a little bit more…" Her mother said, smiling weakly. "Until…we can live under…the real sun…"
"Promise me…whoever did this…" Their mother said, asking one last time. "Don't hate them…"
They nodded, promising and giving her a last reprieve. They made their last promise with her, joining together all their pinky fingers, to not hate the murderer and fulfill their mother's dream.
They made a pinky promise, and to the young Shirahoshi, no matter what you can't break a pinky promise.
-(X)-
That resolve was tested when, years later and stuck inside Koukaku Tower, Megalo approached her and told her the truth about the murderer. She was shocked, to say the least.
The one who did it wasn't a human.
It was a fishman.
It was Hody.
Her fingers curled to form a fist, her entire body shook with emotions. Anger. Sadness. Grief. Hate. All the negative emotions that never truly went away since that day (that was why she cries so much) welled up inside her, quickly reaching its boiling point. She was about to order the guards outside the door to come and inform them this news, to catch the murderer, when she remembered her promise.
"Whoever did this…don't…hate them…"
Her fingers uncurled from a fist, her body trembled as she turned around and reached for a pillow. Tears ran down her face as she cried into it. She made a pinky promise to her mother. She couldn't break it.
But…
Why can't she hate her mother's killer?
-(X)-
Her brothers were visiting. They always made time to visit her at least once a week. She's grateful for that. It would be far too lonely otherwise. They would tell her about how the signature gathering went (less than they hoped) and the general state of the world outside the tower (pirates are everywhere. Thank goodness for Whitebeard's protection). Sometimes they would give her books to entertain herself or they might play board games with her (there's no room for anything else inside her steel tower). Shirahoshi would smile and laugh and have a good time. She always looked forward for next week.
But not this time.
The knowledge of her mother's killer gnawed at her heart. She wanted to tell her brothers the truth, but she can't. She could see that, even as her brothers worked towards their goal ("The signatures!"), somewhere in their hearts, they hate humans for presumably killing their mother. She knew that, if she told them the truth, that hatred would shift to Hody.
Their mother wouldn't want that.
So she smiled and laughed as she always did when her brothers came and when they left she would curl up and cry.
It hurts to know that you have everything you need to accomplish your revenge and choose not to use them.
-(X)-
Another year had rolled past and Shirahoshi was still trapped inside her tower and unable to visit her mother's grave. She has so much she wanted to tell her. That she knew who killed her and was trying to her hardest not to hate him. That she has grown up a lot and wants her to see it. That she still loved her very much. That her brothers and father were taking care of her well.
She wanted to ask too, even though she knew her mother couldn't answer: "Why can't I hate your killer?"
She still doesn't understand.
-(X)-
It was a book.
A simple, leather-bound book that Brother Manboshi bought for her from a passing human traveler because he thought she might enjoy it.
It looked simple, not distinguishing in the least and Shirahoshi loved it.
The book told her about the world outside. Of forests and islands and strange beasts and endless blue seas with open skies. She would read about the strange, merry group of people who seek freedom under the pirate flag. She would read about the sun and the moon and the stars as they guided this band of pirates in her story across the seas.
But underneath the surface of merriness, there was a dark undercurrent to the story.
It may have been just a book, the story may have been fiction, but Shirahoshi could easily imagine it to be real. The antagonist of the story, a sad and angry fishman who lost everything because of a human, had sworn revenge against all mankind. Shirahoshi read how that fishman's hate turned him into a monster, destroying both friend and foe, comparable to the human who took everything from him. Even after he died, his hatred was taken up by others and created more empty monsters.
It was startlingly close to reality.
Is this why her mother told her not to hate?
-(X)-
Slowly, Shirahoshi started to understand and forgive. It was a slow process, because even though she understood why it was still a hard thing to do, but eventually she forgave Hody. It was like swallowing a bitter pill, but it made her feel better, not regretful. Like medicine, the best are always bitter.
She hoped her mother was proud of her for keeping their promise.
-(X)-
Much later, when a boy with a straw hat who made her cry promised to take her to her mother's grave safely, she went with him. Underneath the Eve Tree's sunlight for the first time in a decade, Shirahoshi kneeled in front of her mother's grave and told her everything.
She told her how she has grown up, how her brothers and father were, how the people of their kingdom were. How the Reverie was coming up and their dream would soon come true. How she knew her mother's killer and forgave him.
Shirahoshi didn't ask anything , there was no question left to be asked.
"I understand why you don't want us to hate your killer, mother."
-(X)-
And that's the end! Please leave behind your reviews and tell me what you guys think of this!
See you all next time! ^_^
The Storyteller of Dreams
