A/N: Just a one-shot I wrote in my free time. Might write more of I get enough requests. But review in the end anyway, please.

Disclaimer: Nope, I still don't own the Teen Titans.


No Second Chance

Everyone deserves a second chance. Robin used to say this, and I had believed him. Maybe I was just naïve, or maybe it was the hope of finding true love in life, but I believed him. I couldn't accept that there were choices that couldn't be deleted, forgotten. I wanted to be with her. With Raven. And now. Now I'm too late.

I'm sitting in my room. The mess on the floor is nothing compared to how messed up my feelings are. I'm trying to get my thoughts together, to rethink where I went wrong. But she's lurking in my heart. She has been there for long time. At first I tried to ignore the feeling that had overwhelmed me every time I stood next to her. I thought I was just nervous and afraid of her. After all, she wouldn't have had any problems tearing me into tiny pieces in seconds thanks to her powers. I was nothing for her, a mere fly, an annoyance. At least that was the way she had behaved with me around. She was always so closed into her own little world, I thought that she was just heartless. And when I had finally learnt of the truth…I thought I'd kill myself.

Long time has passed and my feelings for her didn't disappear. Instead they grew even stronger and I could no longer deny what I felt for the dark girl. It was love. It wasn't the kind of love I had felt for Terra before. I had loved Terra's attitude and the way she looked like. It had felt like she was an angel who had come to this world to make it better. I was lost in that love and it hurt like hell when I had found out she was allied with Slade. I'm kinda glad that in the end she had realized her mistakes. I still miss her. I can't deny it. I still love her with a fragment of my heart. I always will.

But to love Raven…it's totally different. It would seem, that she has nothing attractive. She's overly sarcastic, dark and rude and thousands of other things that make her so easy to despise sometimes. But there's something hidden beneath this appearance. My love for her is…heavenly. She isn't pretty. No, she's absolutely beautiful. I can't tell what is it exactly that makes her just so easy to love, but it's as if she was more of a feeling than a person. I love her, because she makes me feel good, at peace. I always calm down when I'm around her. With her my life seems complete. All my life I've been running away from my past. The teasing I had to endure because of the way I looked like had made me to hide behind an image of a joker. But with her I didn't need to pretend. I didn't need to play my fake emotions of happiness. Her darkness is so soothing, it draws you, makes you want to fall asleep on her gentle shoulder, to hug her and never let go of her. She's like a magnet to me, the core of my universe. My love, Raven.

So, I had realized that I love her. But I just couldn't tell her. It wasn't fear any longer, but…still it worried me how would she react. I feared that she might reject me. So many times have I been pushed away, cast out. I had run away from my problems too often. I just couldn't face them. She was the only one I would've ever trusted to know my secrets that were buried in my soul. But I couldn't force myself to tell her how I felt. And so I decided to wait. Maybe I thought that luck would bring us together, or that maybe she'll confess that she loves me. Anyway, now I know it was a fool's hope. And I was the greatest fool.

It's been two years since our friendship had begun to blossom. I was happy just to be with her and she seemed to enjoy the time spent with me. Despite her emotions affecting her powers she would still have fun with me. Those two years were the best ones of my life. We were behaving like children. I kinda feel ashamed now for what I used to do back then. Laughing at idiotic jokes, playing games, and even more laughing. I could never believe that Raven would be able to have so much fun without actually destroying something.

But after those two wonderful years…something had changed. I can't really remember when did I notice, but Raven started to act strange around me. She started seeing me less and less. Whenever I invited her to the pizzeria, or the cinema she had something else on work. After some time it started bothering me, as I longed for the time spent with my love. And so I started to…investigate why was she seeing me so rarely. I wish I could now go back in time and tell myself not to look for the answer. It had ruined my life.

Why? Why couldn't I have seen it earlier? It was so obvious and I still couldn't see the plain truth. He had loved her as well. The masked leader of our small team also loved the dark Titan. And unlike me, he had enough courage to confess his feelings to her. After that…well, it was really quite simple. Some dates and after that their relationship was on its way. And my heart was broken again. But this pain was far greater than that of Terra's betrayal. This time it was a nightmare come true.

I've cried through many nights, looking at the photos of Rae and me. My favourite is the one I had taken in a restaurant. I had taken it on a night when the whole team went out into the town to celebrate our victory against Plasmus. We went into a small Mexican restaurant. We were having a great time and even Raven was having fun. On the photo she can be seen as she's holding a glass of wine which we drank that night. Her violet hair surrounding her smiling angelic face. Although the picture itself turned out to be blurry, it still reminds me of one of the best nights ever in my life. Of course Raven drank a liiiitle bit more than she could take, so after coming back to the tower the two of us went down to walk on the shore. She was clearly under the influence of the alcohol, what was clearly seen as she was walking from one side of the road to the other. She was repeating over and over again that she wasn't drunk, while I was constantly teasing her that she shouldn't have drunk so much. She was so cute, so lovely. And at that moment I was just happy to be with her.

So you can imagine how mad I was when I finally found out that she was dating Robin. I wasn't mad at her. I could never be mad at my dark angel. She was so innocent in all this. I wasn't mad at Robin either. I tried to hate him. For taking my love away from me, for making me feel so miserable. But I couldn't hate him. There was only one person to blame and hate. Me.

For some weeks now I've sunk into this…depression that is consuming my soul. I know that the others have already noticed. The first one to try and make me happier was of course Cyborg. He missed his little green buddy to play video games and go to discos and parties. How could he misjudge me like that? I wasn't interested in all these things. Raven had become the only thing in my life. I thought about her from the morning until I went to sleep late at night. Discos and games were the least of my concerns. The next time to talk to me was Starfire. I thought that maybe she might be able to help, as she was also saddened by Robin's choice. She loves him, and he could never notice the poor Tamaranian girl's affectionate behaviour towards him. So, we have kinda the same fate, both our hearts broken because of losing time with the ones we love so much. But Starfire was also looking for someone to comfort her and I wasn't in a state where I could make her feel better, so we both parted. And yesterday she had talked to me. Raven.

She came to me, when I was sitting on the couch in the common room, staring at the wall, deep in thoughts and sorrow. I haven't noticed her until she sat down close to me and put her arm around my neck. I turned towards her. I could see she was worried about something.

"BB, what's wrong?" she asked me. At that moment I wanted to cry and tell her about all the pain within me. But I couldn't I didn't want to ruin her happy relationship with Robin. I wanted her to be happy, even if it meant for me to be alone and sad.

"Nothing." I said and turned away from her.

"Please, BB, don't lie to me. I know something's bothering you. All of us can see it. You're becoming distant to us, you barely talk to us anymore!"

"Don't worry, I'm okay." I lied. But she obviously didn't believe me.

"BB, I know you're not telling me something. Please, if now's the time to say what you want." she insisted. I was confused. The only thing I was able to do was chuckle hysterically.

"You don't know what's this about Rae. You wouldn't understand." I told her.

"I think I know what's your problem." she said. The hysterical smile disappeared from my face as I became terrified. "Could she actually know?" I thought to myself. I just sighed and remained silent. Raven just continued sitting there waiting for my answer. After a long while I finally thought of a way out of this mess.

"What's your guess?" I asked her, forcing her to take the initiative. She was a bit surprised and blushed.

"But if I'm wrong I'll look like an idiot in your eyes." Raven said in a weak voice. I smiled at her concern.

"Don't worry Rae, you won't." I reassured her, yet she still hesitated.

"Alright, just let me ask one question. And you must answer it truthfully!" she said, and I already knew where the conversation was heading. I nodded.

"Is your…problem…somehow about me?" she asked. Bingo!

"Yes." I answered shortly and blushed. She sighed and took her hand off me.

"So it's true." she said and shook her head, as if trying to wake up from a strange dream.

"BB…do you…like in a way…you know, not like a friend, but more?" she asked. I just loved how shy and cute she was. I knew I had to tell her the truth.

"Yes Raven. I love you." I finally confessed my feelings. An awkward silence settled between us.

"You know BB…for some days now…I've been thinking about you a lot. I know I shouldn't, but I just can't help it." Raven said. I felt sad for her. I didn't want to put her into a situation where she would have to choose between Robin and me. She deserved a lot better life than to have such problems.

"But…you and Robin?" I didn't know what to tell her. I knew I had a chance to finally convince her to try a relationship with me, but it somehow felt wrong. I didn't want to force her to give up a happy relationship just because of me. I didn't know, and I still don't think, that she would surely be happy with me.

"I know." she answered and sighed. We sat there for several minutes, saying a sentence or two from time to time. It soon turned out that she has had feelings for me since the first day we met. I was shocked to know how close I had been to dating this beauty. And I just missed the chance I had. If I had more courage, if I had just confessed my feelings sooner I could be now hug my dark love.

You might be wondering, what has happened since then. After all, one day isn't such a long time. You might even think that I have some hope to be with my love. But you'd be wrong. She loves Robin, not me. I saw her today embracing and kissing him on the lips passionately. It hurt me and the image of them is still in front of my eyes. My body's shaking and I'm starting to feel…numb. I don't understand why, but somehow my face and arms are cold and I can't feel them anymore. My breathing and heartbeat accelerates as if I'd be running. I don't know what's happening to me! I need to calm down somehow! And my eyes become fixated onthe razorblade on my desk

Everyone deserves a second chance! So why didn't I get one?


A/N: Well, that's all. I know that everyone was out of character a lot, but…those of you who know me a bit more will understand. This is my experience written into the context of the Teen Titans. I just wanted to do this to help you understand my choices that I've made in the last few days. Oh, and by the way: I don't believe in RobxRae pairings. I'm a true fan of BBxRae.Well, reviews please.