It was a year and a half after Voldemort's defeat. After returning to Hogwarts to finish their education, Harry Potter and his classmates were finally attending their graduation party along with the other seventh year class. People were spread out throughout the Great Hall, and over in the corner Harry Potter sat, chatting with his best friend Hermione Granger.
"Will you excuse me for a sec, Harry?" Hermione asked abruptly, ending her conversation with her best friend.
"Sure 'Mione," Harry said to a retreating figure, as Hermione had not waited for a response. He stared confusedly at the spot she had just vacated, trying to figure out the reason Hermione had left so suddenly; she was not usually an abrupt person.
"Looks like Hermione's about to have another row with Ginny," a familiar female voice whispered into Harry's ear, before sliding into his lap. Harry looked up into Luna Lovegood's eyes, realization dawning on his face, and grinned at his steady girlfriend. Of course, Harry thought as he noticed Ginny chatting rather closely to an attractive Ravenclaw girl. Although the two girls were definitely in love, Ginny had a flirtatious outgoing personality, which often caused Hermione to get jealous. Eventually, the two would start bickering loud enough for everyone to hear. Shaking his head, Harry thought back to how they had first gotten together…
It was the beginning of their 7th year and, after a summer of being together, Harry could sense the strain in Ron and Hermione's romantic relationship. So it was no surprise to Harry when Hermione came storming down the girls' staircase on a Saturday night, looking livid. Her target was Ron, who was sitting by the fire with Harry, Dean, and Lavender. Ginny was walking behind her, but stopped next to Harry's chair as Hermione continued to march right up to Ron.
"How long," Hermione said through clenched teeth, "have you been cheating on me with this skank?" She jerked a finger toward Lavender, but kept her gaze on Ron. Lavender looked indignant, but to her better judgment did not say a work back to the fuming Hermione.
Ron, shocked, spluttered, "H-h-how d-did you f-f-find out?"
"How did I find out?" Hermione screeched, "That's your only response? Well, for your information, I found out when I saw you snogging in an empty classroom past hours last night! How could you do this Ronald?"
Ron had the grace to look sheepish as he mumbled, "Well, er, things just weren't going great for us, and I didn't feel anything with you anymore—"
"You couldn't have just broken up with me like a normal person then, could you?" Hermione interjected.
Ron continued, seemingly unfazed, "—and, well, er, I felt something with Lavender, and I didn't think you would mind. . . "
He trailed off realizing what he had just said. The crowd that had gathered around them all looked shocked at Ron's lame excuse, Harry included.
"Mind?" Hermione exclaimed incredulously, "You thought I wouldn't mind you cheating on me BEHIND MY BACK?"
Ron looked frightened.
"Well then," Hermione said, considerably calmer, "I guess you won't mind if I do this."
Hermione turned around in Harry's direction, and for a second, Harry was also scared until he realized that Hermione was walking toward Ginny, not himself. With one last step Hermione had reached Ginny. Then, to everyone's surprise, Hermione put her hands on the side of Ginny's face and pressed her own lips to Ginny's. The red-haired girl seemed shocked for one brief second before responding vigorously, snogging the brunette senseless. A moan slipped from one of the girls' mouths – no one could tell who – and this seemed to snap Ron out of his stunned reverie.
"Oi! That's my sister!" Ron yelled angrily, "You can't bloody snog her!
The two girls, who had sprung apart at the yelling, flushed. Hermione turned slowly to face Ron.
"Oh, but you're allowed to snog the hell out of someone who is not your bloody girlfriend?" she asked icily.
Ron, at a loss for words, glared at Hermione and, grabbing Lavender's hand, stalked out of the Gryffindor Common Room. At his exit, many people went back to their business, but Harry turned to the two women in front of him.
"What the bloody hell was that all about?" he asked.
Hermione glanced nervously as Ginny before replying, "Well, Harry, I found out about Ron last night and when I returned to the dorms I was really upset, but Ginny helped calm me down. We got to talking and realized we both had feelings for each other."
"Wait, so technically you cheated on Ron then, too, if you were with Ginny last night?"
"No, no," Hermione said hurriedly, "We agreed not to do anything until I'd broken up with Ron. Today was the first time I kissed her," she turned to Ginny, looking nervous again, "I hope it was okay with you," she finished softly.
"Okay with me?" Ginny echoed, "of course it was okay with me!"
"Really?" Hermione asked, dazed.
"Yes, Hermione!" Ginny exclaimed, and then she suddenly grinned mischievously, "come with me and I'll make it even better. . ."
Ginny grabbed Hermione's hands and started to pull her up to the girls' dormitories.
Hermione looked back and called, "Harry? I hope you're cool with this because—" she paused and glanced at her new girlfriend, "we really do love each other," the girls finished in unison before disappearing up the stairs. . . .
Harry smiled at his memory, before being jolted back into reality by a certain red-haired girl's voice.
"There will always be women in rubber flirting with me!" Ginny Weasley's voice rose above the general commotion in response to something her girlfriend of one year had said.
Much talking ceased in reaction to this comment. Harry's eyes widened in shock, and when he looked up at Luna his eyebrows were raised in question. The young witch smirked.
"You really don't want to know," she said dryly, in response to Harry's unspoken question.
As they re-focused their attention on the bickering females, Ginny did something that stunned the both of them to silence. She began to sing. Sure, the rowing and yelling was usual, but this singing had never happened before. Harry and Luna traded glances, an identical eyebrow raise on both of their faces. They shrugged, and turned back to hear what Ginny was actually singing:
"Every single day,
I walk down the street,
I hear people say
Baby – so sweet.
Ever since puberty,
Everybody stares at me –
Boys, girls – I can't help it,
Baby!"
Harry watched the surprise on Hermione's face; apparently this wasn't something she was prepared for either.
"So be kind,
And don't lose your mind!
Just remember –
That I'm your baby!
Take me for what I am!
Who I was meant to be,
And – if you give a damn –
Take me baby, or leave me."
Hermione started to walk out of the room only to turn back around with a gasp at Ginny's actions. Climbing onto the nearest table, the redhead sang,
"Take me baby, or leave me!"
Harry saw a flicker of irritation cross Hermione's face as she started back toward her girlfriend. And Ginny continued to belt out her song:
"A tiger in a cage,
Can never see the sun.
This diva needs her stage –
Baby let's have fun!
You are the one I choose;
Folks would kill to fill your shoes.
You love the limelight, too now
Baby!"
By this point Ginny had thrown off her robes, revealing a pair of skinny jeans tucked into knee high black boots. She had on a form-fitting black tank top on, and now she was sliding off the table to move slightly away from a clearly frustrated Hermione. As Ginny continued to sing, she decided to tease Hermione (and the crowd); acting as though she was to strip her shirt off but revealing nothing more than her flat stomach. This earned a reprimand from her girlfriend, but whatever had been said was drowned out by Ginny's voice:
"So be mine,
But don't waste my time,
Crying 'oh honey bear'
Are you still my baby?"
By now, it seemed Hermione had reached her limit. Spinning on her heel, she proceeded to stalk out of the Great Hall. Ginny (with the crowd behind her) persisted after Hermione:
"Take me for what I am.
Who I was meant to be!
And – if you give a damn –
Take me baby, or leave me!"
Hermione had begun to climb the staircase, but stopped a third of the way as her girlfriend continued to perform at the foot of the stairs, unrelenting:
"No way,
Can I be who I'm not!
But hey!
Don't you want your girl hot?
Don't fight,
Don't lose you head."
Ginny began to climb the stairs, pausing only once, before ending up on her knees in front of Hermione:
"'Cause every night,
Who's in your bed?
Who?
Who's in your bed?"
Now, Ginny's face turned into a puppy dog pout, not unlike the ones Sirius had made before. Looking up at the woman she loved, Ginny asked, "Kiss Pookie?"
Hermione grabbed Ginny's arm, yanking her to her feet and responded, "It won't work." Then to Harry's utter amazement, Hermione began to sing as well:
"I look before I leap.
I love margins and discipline.
I make lists in my sleep –
Baby, what's my sin?
I never quit,
I follow through.
I hate mess,
But I love you!
What to do with my impromptu baby?
So be wise,
'Cause this girl satisfies.
You got a prize, so don't compromise –
You're one lucky baby!"
With this the brunette yanked off her robes as well, showing off white slacks with a black buttoned down blouse on top. As she continued to sing, she began to walk back down the stairs, Ginny behind her. And with each of Hermione's lines, Ginny added one of her own:
"Take me for what I am!
(A control freak)
Who I was meant to be,
(A snob, yet over attentive)
And – if you give a damn –
(A lovable troll geek)
Take me baby,
(An anal retentive!)
Or leave me!"
The two had reached the bottom of the staircase, and strode into a chamber to the side of the Great Hall. Both of them took opposite sides of the rectangular table at the center of the room. Exasperated and angry, the couple was now singing together:
"That's it!
The straw that breaks my back!
I quit,
Unless you take it back!
Women!
What is it about them?
Can't live,
With them or without them!
Take me for what I am!
Who I was meant to be!
And – if you give a damn –
Take me baby,"
Ginny leaped on top of the table and crawled over to the other side, hopping off in front of Hermione:
"Or leave me!
Take me baby,"
In one intense moment, Hermione had leaned toward Ginny, pressing her body against Ginny, so that the red-head was forced to lean back against the table. They were so close that brown hair seemed to be one and the same with the fiery red hair draped across the table. But in the next second, Ginny had defiantly pushed herself up, and the two girls backed away from each other as they finished their song:
"Or leave me!
Guess I'm leaving –
I'm gone!"
With that, the two girls disappeared through separate doors, and the crowd dispersed now that the show was over. Harry stood there, knowing he should be worried about the outburst his two close friends had displayed. Instead, he found the situation incredibly hilarious and could barely contain his laughter, not wanting to seem heartless. He turned to face Luna, who had remained behind with him, and meeting her eyes, he saw they were lit up with amusement as well. Unable to contain it any longer, the couple collapsed onto each other, laughing uncontrollably at the dramatic antics of their best friends.
