I don't own YA.
Learn to Let You Go
In his sixteen years of life, Nate Richards was never romantically involved. Being a "geek" and an introverted one at that, he never had any luck with the opposite ex. For similar reasons, he never had much luck with his own gender, either, having very few friends and being constantly bullied.
All in all, he had a rather miserable life. Small wonder he was to become Kang the Conqueror, he thought bitterly.
When he ran away from Kang in an attempt to ask for the Avengers' help, he had to wonder if he weren't running away from his past as well as his future. Back in time, he had a mission, a goal, a calling. He could tell himself he was doing something good, fighting the good fight - and the best part was that he didn't do it alone. Here, he had teammates, allies - friends.
Well, if that's what Eli was to him, Nate was pretty new to this.
It was thankfully easier with the other two members of their small team. They were more 'traditionally friendly'. For Nate, Billy and Teddy were easy to be with - at least at first. Fanboys after Nate's own heart, the three could debate over things for hours even mid-training. The only time Nate had to bite his tongue was when he forgot what year he was talking about, and was berated for spoiling.
He had fun with Billy and Teddy, felt at ease, comfortable with them. They made him feel good, so much so he caught himself wanting more. It wasn't just more time, or more things to do, no. Nate wanted more than a friendship, and he wanted it with Billy.
When did it start? Probably a good while before. When did he first notice it? Not too long after it started, if he had to be honest with himself. But he tried to ignore it, pretend it didn't happen, that it was a trick of his stressed mind.
Because why would he pursue something like that when each passing day made his chance slip farther away? With each passing day, no, minute together, Teddy and Billy grew closer to each other, more dependant on each other, leaving less room for anyone else to even try.
No, it couldn't have been real, Nate insisted with himself. It was all in his head, an illusion, a heightened sense of affection and attachment to he who was one of Nate's first and best friends. Yes, that was it, it had to be. It didn't even have to be Billy, he forced himself to think, regardless of the bitter taste that thought left in his mouth.
But that was before. Back when they were incognito, under the radar. When they were still nobodies who didn't screw up badly enough to make a name for themselves. Back then, before Billy saved Nate's life and was, in the oddest way, Nate's first kiss.
Back then, things were easier, when whenever Nate thought of Billy his heart didn't beat faster and his stomach didn't clench. Then, when he could deny how he felt about the spellcaster.
No more. There was no denying any of it, and the worst part of it was knowing how futile it all was. Because it didn't matter what Nate thought or felt - by then, Billy and Teddy were already attached by the hip, and for all his jealousy and pettiness, Nate still couldn't be fully bitter - they were his friends. He was happy for them. He just wanted to be happy, too.
"They're obnoxious" Patriot declared and frowned behind his mask. Iron Lad followed his gaze, finding Hulkling and Asgardian sitting a bit too close to each other during the short break the group took. Nate had to agree with Eli's observation, though he knew well the true case of his unease wasn't the same as for his friend. And it wasn't just uneasiness at the public displays of affection, or even that sort of almost-innocent jealousy most single people felt when seeing a couple. He knew well it went deeper.
"Say, Eli" Nate heard himself say, and continued before his better judgement could kick in. "What do you think would happen if anyone tried to break them up?"
"Say what." Was the best Eli could come up with in response. He stared at Nate for a moment before frowning.
"Not that I see why anyone'd do that, but if they did try, I wish them luck. Look at them, they're glued together at the lips."
"That's true", Nate muttered and turned back to Teddy and was almost ready to call them back when Eli spoke again.
"Besides, they'd have to go through me first." The super-soldier declared. He turned away, leaving Nate to greet the two on his lonesome.
"Nate?" Billy asked once they were close enough. He frowned, seeing the distant expression on Nate's face. "You ok?"
Nate smiled eventually and accepted his portion of the refreshments the two brought.
"Yes", he said and for a short while, when it felt like it was just Billy and him, he also meant it.
