The day my life changed from boring and weird to boring, weird and scary happed around the beginning of the summer holidays. After leaving the Miserable Arnold's Primary School for troubled children a week before the holidays, due to an unfortunate fire that burned the whole place down, I was waiting for more excitement to come.
Needless to say it did.
I was strolling in the little garden behind the block of flats, acting like a duck with ADHD, when a giant bird flew into my head, making me topple over, roll on the ground and flop face first into mud. What a great start to the day.
When I got up, the ruffled bird, an owl, was staring at me creepily with its giant yellowish eyes.
It also happened to drop a thick envelope into my lap. The very moment the yellow thing with shiny emerald ink landed in my lap, the bird decided to fly off and sit on the balcony rail of my mum's apartment. Suspicious.
No it must have been luck.
The envelope was meant for moi and had a curious address. Who knows where I sleep?
By the way, I sleep in the study room. It's awesome because there's books and a sofa that becomes a bed and has a secret compartment to hide the duvet in and I made an even more secret place for my treasures in the wall behind it. Shh, it's confidential, okay?
So I went back inside when I realised a group of neighbouring kids was staring and pointing at me. After giving them a good glare or two for measure, I began my journey up the never ending staircase.
The tiny apartment we lived in could be found on the fifth floor, just high enough to wind me on the way up. I couldn't be described as the fittest of kids my age.
The place itself wasn't too shabby. A small living room with only a cheap TV, puffy sofa and a tiny coffee table greeted as the first room. On the right was a kitchen annexe in horrendous pinks with a wicked breakfast bar, I always smacked into it when running to get my coat. In the corner was a round table -harhar- surrounded by three mismatched chairs. On top of it were many trinkets, bills, postcards and whatnots. The left hand wall was mostly glass and outside it was the balcony. Rodger was still owlin' the rail like a boss. Like an owl.
I named the owl Rodger. Deal.
From the living room you could see three doors: to the study, the bathroom and the bedroom. No one was home.
After taking a seat on the ugly sofa, I ripped the top off the envelope, revealing two pieces of parchment and something shiny and colourful. A train ticket.
"What a stupid joke, everyone knows there isn't a platform 9 and 3/4!" I shouted, disappointed. It must have been a prank from my friends, I thought. They probably found out I'm going away to a boarding school in Cornwall and were annoyed. I decided to read the letters anyway to fully get the joke, maybe think of something good to get back at them.
HOGWARTS SCHOOL
of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY
Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore
(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock,
Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)
Dear Miss. Edwards,
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.
Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31.
Yours sincerely,
Minerva McGonagall
Deputy Headmistress
They did a great job with the handwriting and 'proper English'. I was so proud of them.
Even more than when we made our head teacher think she was going to be in a movie and had her dress up. Good times...
The second parchment said:
HOGWARTS SCHOOL
of WHICHCRAFT and WIZARDRY
UNIFORM
First-year students will require:
sets of plain work robes (black)
plain pointed hat (black) for day wear
pair of protective gloves (dragon hide or similar)
winter cloak (black, with silver fastenings)
Please note that all pupil's clothes should carry name tags.
COURSE BOOKS
All students should have a copy of each of the following:
The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 1) by Miranda Goshawk
A History of Magic by Bathilda Bagshot
Magical Theory by Adalbert Waffling
A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration by Emeric Switch
One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi by Phyllida Spore
Magical Drafts and Potions by Arsenius Jigger
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander
The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection by Quentin Trimble
OTHER EQUIPMENT
1 wand
1 cauldron (pewter, standard size 2)
1 set glass or crystal phials
1 telescope
1 set brass scales
Students may also bring and owl OR a cat OR a toad.
PARENTS ARE REMINDED THAT FIRST YEARS ARE NOT ALLOWED THEIR OWN BROOMSTICKS
It was hilarious. Yep you guessed it: I was rolling on the floor, giggling my head off.
That was when my mum returned home.
"Nina, I'm home." she greeted me cheerfully, until she saw me spazzing it up on the floor.
"What the hell? I thought you grew out of this craziness! You're a young lady now so start acting like it!" rolling her eyes, she stepped over me and headed to the kitchen while I got up. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see her take the pot of lasagne out of the refrigerator and throw it into the yellow microwave.
"Sorry, mum, but you have to see this, it's hilarious!" I jumped excitedly "I think Caitlin found out what school I'm going to and did a prank." Needless to say I couldn't stop laughing, so the words sounded sputtered out and hard to understand. I handed her the letter.
My mum's name is Emma. She's a feisty redhead with loving brown eyes that sometimes go green. It's a shame I look more like my father. Since I never met him I used to think I was an orphan, but a lesson on genetics cleared my suspicions.
Did I tell you I'm a bit paranoid?
Well I am.
During my great description of myself and my family to random people reading my thoughts, mum finished reading the letter and looked really confused. I had no idea why, the reasoning and letter seemed straightforward to me.
"Why would Caitlin do this? She could just dye your hair green or whatever little kids do for revenge..?"
"I believe you mean young ladies, mother dear" I hobbled over to her, speaking with the poshest accent I could pull off.
She laughed at me then said to forget it. I did not. How can you forget that? I must do this to someone at my new school. It'd be so funny if they dropped out, thinking it was true.
I giggled. Mum probably thinks I'm a twit.
Not a pregnant fish twit, but silly person twit. Just so you don't get confused.
"Dinner's ready, eat it or whatever." mum said, putting on her high heels on her way to the door, after she set the lasagne pot on the bar, together with a plate. "I'll be back late, so don't forget to lock the door, honey!"
And she went. She was always working lately. One of the reasons why I was going to the boarding school, life in London was more expensive for two than one person. That and I always wanted to see the seals.
There are seals in Cornwall, right? And chickens, grizzly bears and the cookie monster, but I didn't want to see them. They'd steal my lunch cakes.
I wasn't hungry, but I still ate some lasagne, covered with ketchup. Mm, heavenly ketchup.
It's official I'm marrying ketchup. It makes my life.
But wait, I still didn't tell you what made my life much more scary.
It happened the next morning, after I made coffee for mum and Fred, or Eric, maybe Bruce. I wasn't sure. There was someone at the door, knocking in a funky rhythm.
Opening the door, I saw a tall, thin woman with a stern face who wore a strange scarlet robe-dress.
"Good morning, is this the Edwards family residence?" she asked with a friendly tone of voice.
"Yes. My name's Nina and you are?" the manners lessons on TV did work after all.
She introduced herself as Professor McGonagall, a teacher at Hogwarts. This caused a lot of giggles that turned into laughter that turned into rolling on the floor. Yep I'm a freak.
"P-please come in." I rolled out of the way, still flailing on the floor.
'Professor McGonagall' seemed freaked out and unsure how to respond. I have that effect on people. Who cared anyway, she was an actress sent by Caitlin.
I calmed down and got up feeling awkward. So I did what was taught to me.
"Would you like some tea? Please sit down, if you please." okay, the Indian accent wasn't needed. Bite me.
"Milk with one sugar, please." she said, sitting on the sofa. She now seemed mildly amused, looking at me with a wise eye, as if she had me all figured out. I hated that gaze. "Is your mother home?"
"Yes, I'll go get her for you"
Soon we all sat down with tea and some cookies. Mum had her Sunday dress on, even though it was the middle of the week and Gary, Tom, Frankie was still asleep. The professor took a deep breath in and looked at me for a good minute. Creepy.
"I believe you have received a letter yesterday." She began. "I came here to explain everything to you, as you don't know about the magic world yet.
Nina, you are a witch."
Silence. Gee thanks. Not the first time someone called me a witch, but the teachers generally prefer 'Demon Spawn' after being covered in chalk or staining goo when entering the classroom. She hadn't even taught me yet and she already knew my friends' and my nature.
She thought I didn't believe her, so she continued.
"Have you ever done something inexplicable or unusual when upset or stressed?"
The answer was yes, but I was still thinking it was a joke. Then Professor McGonagall turned into a cat and back, and made some things appear and disappear when waving a stick.
"WHO GOT DRUGS?" I shouted, panicked and unhappy I was drugged when I'm normally really careful. How could she get me when I made the tea? They're getting sneakier and sneakier.
It took a few more hours until I was sure it wasn't a joke. Even longer to persuade me to come, but free tuition, food and bed with a donation from school to fund some of my books sounded pretty promising as opposed to the boarding school fees . As the sun begun to set, the decision was made. I, Nina Edwards would be attending Hogwarts.
And that's what changed my life. I should've thrown her out. Bugger.
And that's the first chapter, hope you enjoyed it. Comment and love at will.
Eddie xo
