Title: Whoopi meets Napoleon
Author: TimnAlan
Summary: It's a three way between Whoopi, Napoleon, and a girl named Lisa.
Disclaimer: I own nothin' dudes. Get over it! Read this story anyway.
"What the hell are you doing?" Whoopi Goldberg demanded.
"Gosh the Mona Lisa smiled!" Napoleon screeched.
He stared at the painting. Then he reached into his freakin' awesome Jeans and yelled, "Gingersnaps!" and threw them at Whoopi.
"They're getting in my eyebrows!"
"Big freakin' deal!"
Napoleon runs into the Mona Lisa. The pen he had in his purple FFA jacket drew a long mark across Mona Lisa's face like Pedro's mustache. His frog Bonaparte leaped into the air soaring like a bird in a wild last ditch effort for freedom to gain freedom to rise to the glory of France and stay in power another hundred days. He landed upon the brow of the Whoopi. He then mistook here eyebrows for furry caterpillars and ate them whole, chocking his last words were "The secret to life is ..." The world never knew the answer is the same has how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Whoopi yelped as she danced around in a wild movement in an attempt to dislodge the purple taco frog.
The security came charging in with their dangerous looking whistles and little black sticks. "What the hell are you doing? Who defiled Mona Lisa the goddess whose presence has made this museum holy upon which angels fear to tread."
"You want some flippin' white out?"
"WHITE OUT WILL NOT SAVE THAT ANGEL!"
"Then have the artist paint another one, gosh."
Napoleon spent the next twenty years in prison with Jean Val jean then escape through the sewers and contracted psoriasis and was murdered by a man while sitting in a bath tub. His "friend" Mitch Kalamazoo "Bobearhuneybuns" cried to the wind. "WHERE IS THE LOVE!"
