It had been four, almost five, months since Delphine Cormier's body had been found in a parking lot, fifteen minutes outside of town. Her killer still hadn't been caught, and the detectives really didn't see much point in continuing the investigation: they hadn't been able to save her, so what was the point?
For the first month after she had found out about Delphine's death, Shay had tried to contact Cosima. But she didn't want to take that route again, even though the distraction would have probably helped her, she just wanted Delphine. So she busied herself with her work, even though she knew that every time she stepped into the lab she would be hit with a flood of memories... Especially when she saw the couch where her and Delphine had exchanged their first 'I love you'.
She continued to busy herself with work, followed by an even further distraction helping Sarah out with Kira, for the next two months, but then she started to get sicker.
No Delphine, meant no more of her team looking for further treatments, or even a cure, for Cosima's condition, and Cosima was getting worse with every passing second. The worst part was, she didn't even care.
Of course, she hated the intense burning pain in her chest every time she coughed, the pain in every joint in her body, the extreme exhaustion and weakness that clung to every bone and muscle in her body, but it was nothing she hadn't experienced the last time she got this sick, and so she kept forcing herself to fake a smile, knowing that Delphine would want her to keep fighting, even if Cosima didn't want to fight without her.
But then the seizures started, and this time it wasn't just the one. Cosima was lucky to go twelve hours without one seizure, let alone weeks. It was a sign that her condition was worsening, her body was failing and fast.
Another week passed, and her lung function dropped and she had no choice but to go back onto oxygen, even though she hated it. She knew it was a neccesity if she wanted to carry on living, at least until Kira's ninth birthday, but was she even sure she did? Was living this way really living.
Maybe it would have been if Delphine was still here, if she still felt that linger of hope that Delphine had provided her with.
When Cosima got sick the last time, Delphine never pitied her. She never once looked at her in a sorrowful way. She helped Cosima fight it, but this time with the others? They had accepted Cosima's fate. All they did was say that they were sorry, and how they wished there had been a cure to save her.
But the only person that could have saved her was Delphine.
The next thing to worsen was the seizures, they now happened every couple of hours, and no matter how many pills she took to try and help stop them, nothing worked, and everyone just knew then that the end, the end to Cosima Niehaus, was coming.
She started getting weaker and weaker every day, to the point where she needed help lifting up her goddamn cup. She could no longer be left alone to fend for herself like she so enjoyed doing, she had to have help with everything, so Felix volountarily left his home to look after her. He was the one that pitied her the least, but he still would never make up for the hole in her heart that she was missing.
As the days dragged on, Cosima found herself wishing to die. She had always been the independent one, she had always been able to fend for herself, and care for herself, and now she couldn't. She was beyond miserable, but most of all she was angry.
Angry for having made Felix leave his apartment, angry that she didn't know if she would be able to see Kira turn nine, angry that Delphine had died, and angry that she was dying and there was nothing anybody could do to stop it.
Then finally, Cosima cracked. She started crying, and she couldn't stop, and she knew where she needed to go.
So with every last ounce of strength she had, she dragged herself to her car, shifting it into gear before she drove to the only place she felt at peace.
Her tears were still coming thick and fast as she pulled up outside of the cemetry, pulling herself out of the car, yanking her oxygen out of her nose. She couldn't deal with it right now.
She slammed the car door shut, walking inside, and spotting her gravestone straight away.
She ran over to it, forgetting all about the pain in her chest and the weakness in her legs, as she collapsed by the grave, sobs wracking her body as she read the words on the headstone.
"Delphine Juliette Cormier
Beloved daughter, scientist and girlfriend"
That was all that was written. Her life was worth so much more than that, she was so much more than that, especially to Cosima.
She let her hands sink into the soil, blurred by her still going tears, as she spoke six words in a weak, broken voice.
"Why did you have to go?"
Her sobs continued, before she felt her phone buzz incoherently in her pocket, she knew it would be either Sarah or Felix worried half to death about her whereabouts, but still she ignored it.
She wanted to see the gravestone before she died.
Her voice still shaking, her tears finally subsiding, and a pain in her chest, a different kind of pain this time, she began to speak again. "I hope we find each other again." She whispered. "I understand that you couldn't come back for me like I did you, so this time, I'm going to come for you." Her voice cracked again, as she let out a weak cough. "I'm coming for you because we're supposed to end up together, and you leaving me was never part of the deal. We come as a package. You and me, we're meant to be."
Her phone started buzzing, and she knew that it was time to go before they sent out a search party.
She pressed a kiss to two fingers, pressing them against the headstone. "Je t'aime, mon ange." She felt a single tear roll down her cheeks.
Cosima lifted herself off of the ground, as she stumbled back to her car. She put herself back into her oxygen, hoping that would take away the pain in her chest. But this was grief pain, the hole in her heart pain. So she cranked up the radio, pushing the mixed tape that Delphine had made her into the player, and listened to their songs as she made her way home.
When she swung the door open, she could feel her legs growing weaker and weaker, as Felix swarmed around her, his words slurred and muffled in her head, almost indecipherable.
Then she felt herself fall to the ground.
When she woke up next, she didn't know how much time had passed. She was surrounded by everyone that she could possibly think of, except the one person she needed right now, but she knew she was there. She could feel her hand in hers, coaxing her through the almost unbearable pain.
Tears spilled down her cheeks, as she looked over at all the faces of her family and friends. "I have to go." She croaked, as Sarah looked at her, sobbing. This was the first time Cosima had seen Sarah in such a vulnerable state.
"No, you don't. There's still a chance-" Sarah began, before Cosima cut her off.
She shook her head. "I don't need another chance. I have had an amazing life. I have met the most amazing people, people that I can call my own family. I fell in love, I had true, passionate, unbelieveable love..." She trailed off.
She could still feel Delphine there with her.
Allison swarmed her with a hug, for the first time since Cosima had met her, the woman was speechless with grief and sadness. "I'm going to miss you so much." She finally whispered.
"I'm going to miss you too."
And then the string of goodbyes happened.
Scott came over, tears streaming down his cheeks. "I can't believe I'm going to have lost two of the best people in my life in less than a year."
Cosima cracked a small smile. "You'll survive." She paused, a cough hacking at her chest like a chainsaw. "Scott... I want you to have the lab. It's yours now. Keep the legacy going, try and help people like me, live your dream."
Scott nodded, as he evenloped Cosima into a hug.
Felix was next to come over. "You bitch, you're not supposed to leave us all yet. How are we supposed to cope without you?" Felix forced a smile through his tears, as he hugged her so tight it felt like her ribs were exploding.
"Take care of yourself, and Sarah and Kira, for me, okay? And make sure if you find any other clones to tell them all about the weirdo lesbian scientist that died, but make my death sound fabulous." Cosima smiled, as she hugged Felix one last time.
Helena was next, and Cosima was surprised she had come to say goodbye. Their goodbye wasn't as emotional, but Helena still shed a tear as she hugged her goodbye. "Take care, sestra." Helena whispered into Cosima's ear.
Sarah was the final person to say goodbye, and all she could manage to get out was sobs. "I love you." She finally said, as she collapsed in a heap on the small space of bed next to her, her head resting against her chest.
"Make sure that little girl of yours knows that I love her so much, and how much she means to me, okay?" Cosima's body shook with a violent cough, bringing up more blood than she had ever seen in her life.
This was it. It was all coming to a close.
"Please, don't go." Sarah begged, one last time, as she held her hand even tighter, as if she was almost trying to stop death from taking her.
Cosima chose to ignore her words this time, as she looked everyone over once more. "I love you all so much, and I hope you know that." She let tears leak down her cheeks. "But now it's time for me to go."
Cosima closed her eyes, Delphine immediately encasing her vision, as she smiled a small smile. "Delphine's waiting for me."
Then she let out one final breath.
