Disclaimer: No ownership. {And I for one, am against suicide. I'd say "who isn't?", but unfortunately, that's not the case. :(}
Say Goodbye
Hannah stared at the pills, thinking.
Her thoughts, so morbid, revolved around everything she knew. Everything she thought she knew.
Like life.
There was so much to it, she thought. So much. If only she could see it.
But she didn't. She couldn't see herself in the future, couldn't picture a good career or a family. Couldn't picture anything. It was just an empty slot, like a dream that will never be.
So maybe this was her only way.
For a long while she sat there. On her bed, in her room, thinking about whether or not she was going to do it. Would she kill herself? Could she?
Hannah almost laughed. Instead, she wiped a stray tear off her cheek, brushed a stray lock of hair away from her damp forehead, and smiled.
She smiled because of the irony.
Bad decisions—so many—made by others lead her to where she was now. On the brink of self destruction.
And she smiled because it was her decision now. Hers. The rest didn't matter, not the hurt, the tapes, or the people. Not at all. Because she was the ultimate turning point.
So? What'll it be?
If she didn't take the pills, she'd sabotage all her own planning. All that careful preparation. Imagine—the faces of her peers when she arrived on Monday morning, just as always. The surprise and shock of the thirteen individuals she had arranged to get the tape. Maybe they'd tease her. Hate her. Maybe she was just exaggerating.
Maybe she wasn't.
And Hannah couldn't take that. Not when she already took everything else.
She cupped a hand and scooped the pills up, thinking: One last second to turn back. One last second to forgive and forget.
One last second to live.
She took the pills.
Each one clogged her throat before they fell down. They all tasted so bitter, and for a second, Hannah was reminded of the medicines her mother made her take. All the support her parents have given her. For a second, she remembered all the laughs and smiles she'd shared throughout her lifetime.
And for one second—one tick of the clock—Hannah was regretful. She didn't want to die. Not now, not yet. She did want to live. To start anew. Anything but this.
But her shallow breaths were already slowing down. And with the numbness came the revelation that her chance to start over was long gone. All Hannah could do was lay down on her bed, which will soon be her deathbed (go figure), and wait while the pills finished their job.
But before she went, she picked up the tape recorder. She had one more thing to say. Something that's been echoing in her mind for the past few… for a long time. It'd be her very last words.
So, with her remaining strength, Hannah clicked the recorder's button. And with her dying breath, she heard her own voice whisper: "I'm so sorry."
She closed her eyes. Waiting.
And then...
Peace.
Author's Note: Nope. Same story. Didn't want to do my algebra homework. Decided to do some fic to get my kreatyvitie running. :) REVIEW if you'd be so kind.
