Warning: Uhm, Black Widow casual treatment of crimes, murder etc.? It's a mix of cute and murderous, basically.
For Entertainment Purposes Only
Tony Stark is a mark.
It doesn't matter that she hasn't been sent to kill him. It doesn't matter that he has a sharp tongue that reminds her of someone she might call a friend, if never to his face. It doesn't matter that sometimes, when his eyes loose that blindingly bright shine, she feels the sudden urge to sympathise with him, even goes so far as to offer comfort once.
Natasha Romanoff is a professional. On a personal level she may deem Tony Stark a likeable human being, but her personal impression is not relevant and the mission, as always, takes precedence.
Some things, too many things, have never changed in any life she's chosen to live.
Tony Stark stops being a mark the second he learns of her involvement with SHIELD. She re-catalogues him as a wildcard instead, which is perhaps Natasha's first mistake. She has always grown fond of wildcards far sooner than is advisable.
Natasha stabs Stark in the neck with an injection that slows the palladium poisoning his blood.
It is not a courteous action, nor perhaps a wise one, and not even entirely necessary, not that Fury will comment on it. But Natasha has spent weeks at Stark's side by this point, and she understands, better than many people would, that while he might not technically be suicidal, Stark is still driven by self-hatred and recklessness above all else.
Handing him the needle implies a choice. But it's not a choice Natasha is willing to give him, not a chance she is willing to take, and she sees no point in being covert about it.
There is nothing honourable about her actions, only selfishness and perhaps a latent need to lash out against Stark while she can, but no Black Widow has ever been known for her moral code.
Natasha finishes her official mission.
Evaluate Tony Stark.
Natasha finishes her unofficial mission.
Ensure the World Security Council stays the fuck away from him, I mean it, Romanoff. I don't need a bunch of self-important bastards with too much power and no common sense to alienate Stark until he goes off the deep end, you hear me?
As expected, she accomplishes both with little trouble and Tony Stark is officially no longer her business.
Four missions pass before Natasha runs into Tony Stark during a gala she attends on her mark's arm. There is a minute amount of tension on both of their parts, though she doesn't allow it to bleed into her outer mask, before they regain their equilibrium.
What follows are sharp smiles and shallow words, a challenging dance in which neither party leads nor follows, as Stark flirts and insults and Natasha bats her eyes and soothes her mark's bruised ego.
It's a masterful performance.
Natasha is not supposed to take pleasure in her work, but SHIELD guidelines don't change that Stark is a talented manipulator and a Black Widow takes pride in her every kill.
Their next encounter is bloodier. In fact, it requires Natasha breaking her cover, by which she means killing her mark and all his seven bodyguards on her way to Stark, for whom she promptly takes a bullet.
It isn't an action driven by sentimentality. She has simply chosen to protect a valuable asset to the organisation. Her own mission was a low priority and though Fury will never admit it, Stark's mind can not be replaced.
Natasha explains as much to the director. And Clint. Both men call her out on her bullshit, but it's only the latter's warning she honestly considers. For all of two seconds.
The notion is simply too ridiculous. A Black Widow doesn't get attached. And definitely not to Stark of all people.
Another three marks and they meet again. There is no planning behind it, no secret agenda, though Natasha can see Stark's suspicion in his eyes, at odds with the welcoming grin on his face. She approves of his caution. If nothing else, it will keep him alive a little longer and Natasha always enjoys the continued existence of another wildcard. It keeps the game from becoming too predictable.
Fact is, Natasha is at her best when working high-risk, high-profile missions, and Tony Stark embodies both. They were bound to cross paths again and will continue to do so in the future.
Natasha doesn't consider this a potential problem.
Perhaps it is said lack of consideration that should have clued her in that it is, in fact, about to become a problem.
Stark becomes Tony on a Wednesday.
Natasha will forever have trouble recalling the exact details, though, per her own insistence, less because it has been a gradual process and more because she has been barely conscious and drugged out of her mind for an unknown amount of hours by that point.
High-stake missions have a tendency to go wrong in the least expected ways, so it shouldn't have come as a surprise to anyone when Natasha was found out well ahead of schedule because of an ill-timed allergic reaction towards a marshmallow. Except, of course, that it is a surprise to everyone since Natasha has successfully kept her quite embarrassing and also very deadly weakness hidden for years.
Imagine her surprise when she wakes up in a decidedly non-SHIELD-issued hospital room, checked in under the name 'Janice Lerch', and is subsequently informed by a disinterested doctor of the measures taken to combat the anaphylactic shock her body has had to endure. On a TV in the corner of the room, the local news program recounts Iron Man's unexpected attack on a very familiar man during an equally familiarly sounding high-society crowd funder.
Natasha disappears out of the hospital exactly eight seconds after the doctor turns his back on her for the first time. Following her break-out, she hacks into their system to erase any evidence of her presence — except there is nothing there.
Natasha never asks Tony about the incident, and he never mentions anything in regards to the violently decapitated drug lord nor the erased medical reports. It is for the best, really. After all no one, who knows a Black Widow's secrets, tends to grow very old.
Few people would consider Natasha a protective person. As a matter of fact, Natasha certainly wouldn't describe herself as such. Breaking the arm of the last man stupid enough to insult Clint within her hearing range was entirely part of his training. Every baby agent will confirm it.
Hell, even if she was the protective sort, which she isn't, no one can prove otherwise, Natasha cares about the fates of exactly two people, so it is hardly going to cause any problems.
Shooting Tony's most recent, ill-advised kidnappers does not count as evidence to the contrary, thank you very much. It is a completely reasonable response. After all, you don't send the Black Widow to recover one of your assets if you want the enemy to walk away from the confrontation. You really don't.
Besides a headshot can't honestly count as an 'excessive' response. If anything, it is her go-to solution, as her file states very clearly. Underlined in green ink and everything.
And if the mastermind behind this mess of a kidnapping managed to acquire seven broken fingers, three broken toes, a sprained arm, a dislocated shoulder, a shattered ankle and a frankly impressive amount of light stab wounds before she's shot him, well. That's hardly Natasha's fault. He might have fallen down the stairs a couple of times before she caught up to him.
It has got nothing to do with the water-boarding the man decided to put a traumatised but still walking Tony through before Natasha tracked him down. Nothing at all.
Tony becomes a friend the day he wishes Natasha a happy two year anniversary of their first meeting. It's silly, ridiculous and sentimental, in short everything Natasha despises, and she hates the irritating bastard because he makes her laugh anyways.
The first time Natasha sees Tony cry, genuinely and ugly and unashamed, Pepper is on the other side of the world, he is black-out drunk and Natasha is dressed like a high-end escort girl. As far as timing goes, it is neither the best nor the worst, so Natasha allows the barely conscious man to cling to her with a strength that belies his fairly unimpressive frame.
Tony spends the rest of the night sobbing, petting her hair, muttering what sounds like formulas and equations and drawing geometrical forms onto her bare shoulder until he falls asleep in her lap.
Natasha spends the rest of the night gently stroking Tony's hair and pondering the wisdom of snapping his neck while he drools onto her tight. She knows she doesn't have the heart to do it, but there lies a strange comfort in the art of pretence she isn't willing to give up on just yet.
It is not the first time that Tony sends her expensive prototypes as an unspoken apology for crossing a line in their relationship only he is aware of.
It is the first time Natasha smiles at him with barely any edge in it and says the unspoken "Thank you," out loud.
Tony's wide-eyed, confused, almost panicked look is amusing. Natasha decides to thank him more often.
For entertainment purposes only, of course.
They share a drink in the privacy of one of Tony's mansions when some joke, a stupid, not at all funny one, makes Natasha turn her head and press a gentle kiss against Tony's unshaved cheek.
It's not their first kiss by far. Hands, cheeks, lips, it's all come up at one point, but never before away from prying eyes. All those other kisses have meant nothing, they both know and understand that. They have been a means to an end, a way to portray closeness and convey unsaid implications, nothing more.
There is no one around to fool now, and the kiss, chaste and free of any kind of physical attraction, is fuelled by nothing but genuine affection.
Tony swallows around another gulp of expensive whiskey and Natasha knows he understands it too.
She has come to expect nothing else from him.
The nicknames are less of an accident and more completely Tony's fault. It's a habit of his. Handing them out like they are meaningless, when they are capable of conveying insults as quickly as compliments with frightful ease.
Natasha gets used to spider jokes and references to her hair colour. She gets used to being greeted, and on a rarer occasion introduced as Jane Bond and Natalia Corleone. She gets used to the sweethearts and honeys and loves Tony throws at her once he realises she won't retaliate with physical pain.
It's only when one of her coworkers, Clint, because who else could it be, comments on it though that Natasha notices that she has begun to reciprocate in kind. Calling Tony darling, luchik and kotyenok comes naturally by that point, and Natasha refuses change her behaviour based on a few meaningful glances thrown her way.
Clint may make fun of her all he likes, but he's never seen the way Tony's eyes light up when she bestows him with a new pet name. Besides when Clint inevitably crosses the line Natasha knows exactly where he hides his arrows.
When Natasha takes one of the riskier, longer undercover missions she doesn't say goodbye to Tony.
She considers it but some of her equipment is clearly Stark-made and Natasha is sure he knows exactly where she's going.
The flinch is barely visible but Natasha is nothing if not perceptive. Her eyes narrow on the blonde man currently crowding Tony, one hand holding onto his forearm too tightly to be comfortable. She is by Tony's side in seconds, slides her arm around his waist, a soft "There you are," already on her lips.
It speaks for how far they have come by this point that Tony doesn't falter for a second, never mind that this is a very exclusive business dinner she's never received an invitation to, presses a barely felt kiss against her temple.
"I've missed you, sweetheart." Tony smiles, a startling amount of honesty in the crinkles around his eyes.
Natasha returns the smile, even as her free hand glides along his arm towards the hand of the grabby business partner and twists his smallest finger in a well-practiced grip.
"So have I, sakharok," she replies, for all the world obvious to the pained groan of the disgusting man who has been bothering Tony, and finds herself telling the truth for the first time in longer than she cares to remember.
Later that night Tony will invite her into his home and Natasha will graciously accept. They will spend half the night exchanging strategic information, because Natasha doesn't gossip, and share a lot more genuine smiles and relaxed silences than either of them is used to.
In the morning, Natasha will have disappeared, the kitchen cleaned up and a re-heatable breakfast prepared on the stove for when Tony finally has caught up on the sleep he's been missing lately. It will be the unvoiced 'I'm sorry I worried you' to Tony's unacknowledged restlessness over the past month.
Clint will be utterly unbearable like the sarcastic little shit he is, but Natasha knows it will make Tony smile bright and happily for days, and it's worth it. Besides there are many ways to get even with Clint that don't involve painful deaths and Tony can always use a test subject for one thing or another. He's resourceful like that.
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