"I'm never getting married." She says one day. The sun is shining and she's at the park with her mom, Jade's playing in the sand. She said the comment offhandedly, like she was telling her mom what she wanted for lunch.

Jade's mom presses her lips in a thin line. She looks down at her five year old daughter and nods. She knows it's her fault.

...

Jade's ten years old when it finally happens. The word divorce rings through her ears and she feels sick. She tells herself she shouldn't be surprised. Her parents have been fighting since she can remember. Jade's dad looks at her, his face once so full of warmth and love for his daughter, now cold and distant. He's breaking her heart and he knows it.

They never tell her exactly why it happened. She thinks it's because of the fighting, it has to be. She settles with that conclusion until she finds out the truth years later and she's still shocked, still wishing it was because they just hadn't clicked, that they were never in love because it's so much easier that way. Jade doesn't want to think of her parents being happy and in love once. It doesn't seem right.

...

At twelve she stops believing in romance and happy endings.

...

"Why do you wear all black?" Her best friend asks one day, they're at her house. Her mom is out, like always.

"Why are you so annoying?" She teases. There would be malice in her tone, there should be malice in her tone. But it's Tori asking and Tori can't make Jade hate her no matter what. It didn't stop Jade from trying when they first met though. She thought the other girl was too perky, too helpful.

They weren't supposed to get along but they did. Tori wouldn't give up on Jade and Jade appreciated that, even though she would rather stab herself with her favorite scissors than admit it.

She wanted to hate Tori. She really did. Jade told herself she didn't believe in happy endings but if she had her best friend with her, maybe, just maybe, her ending wouldn't be so tragic.

...

On the night of her fourteenth birthday, the last birthday she would celebrate in middle school she throws a sleepover party. It is so not her style but her friend had insisted and she didn't feel like arguing. There were only two people invited, Jade didn't have many friends.

When the clock strikes four am and Annie is sleeping but Jade and Tori are wide awake and sitting next to each other, they're close, so close, and then Tori is kissing Jade or Jade is kissing Tori (neither can tell who initiated it.) It's perfect and Jade finally understands the concept of butterflies in your tummy when you have a crush.

The next morning she wakes up to Annie reading a book and Tori gone. It was the last time she saw her because summer was almost over and they would be going to different high schools. Jade frowned and kicked Annie out (this was the last time she saw her too, but Annie wasn't important).

...

Jade's dad doesn't congratulate her on getting into Hollywood Arts.

...

Beck doesn't come into her life until much later. She had seen him around but it wasn't until he asked her out on a date that she really noticed him. She wanted to think he was cute, she wanted to think the way his hair fell in his face was adorable, she tried so hard to be attracted to him. But when he kissed her all she could think about was Tori and Tori's soft lips and Tori's eyes and suddenly when her own eyes fluttered closed Beck wasn't there anymore. It was just her and Tori. It was just her and another girl.

...

Jade stops thinking about Tori. She's not gay. She likes Beck, goddammit. Beck with his stupid smile and his stupid hair and his stupid laugh. She tells herself she loves him, she believes it.

...

At sixteen, there's a new girl at her school. She can't believe who it is but she yells at the girl, she yells, at Tori anyway. After all, Beck was hers, and nobody should be touching him, especially not her old best friend who she hadn't seen in two years.